Larkspur in Eden
by MotherHeninFlorida
Summary: It's the future, but one far from comfortable for those that live it. Stand alone story or can be read as part of the dystopian trilogy. See my profile for the order. All characters in Larkspur are original but story is based on "Wastelands" by JJ Adams.
1. Chapter 1

**Larkspur in Eden**

"...they come to us, these restless dead,  
Shrouds woven from the words of men,  
With trumpets sounding overhead  
(The walls of hope have grown so thin  
And all our vaunted innocence  
Has withered in this endless frost)  
That promise little recompense  
For all we risk, for all we've lost..."  
― Mira Grant, _Feed_

"Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted. That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons of history."  
― Aldous Huxley

 **Chapter One**

The venom in the woman's voice was thicker than usual as she hissed, "Listen up Useless, you make trouble at the Buy 'n Sell and you'll wish you'd never fallen outta yer dam to draw yer first breath."

Translation: Either I keep my mouth shut and act as I'm told or I'll wish I had never been born. The threat carries little weight as I already feel that way on most days, especially now when there is nothing left to hold me to this rotten life that I lead. The angels have carried him off the same as they had come for all of the others, leaving me behind yet again to suffer on, only this time well and truly alone with no purpose.

How my gentle mother and that nightmare in a leather brassiere could be sisters is a mystery I no longer bother to wonder at. I know my grandmother, for all her airs and old ways and insistence on living in the past, had adored my very roughhewn Granpap who was her polar opposite and would never have played him false. Aunt Gisele is simply one of those people born with a twisted heart that will forever value possessions more than people. I was told by Papa during one of his rare, loquacious turns that she hid it well until after her first husband and only two children were killed by a plague and she found out the man's wealth was never hers to claim as it returned to his family at his death without a male heir. Mam and I should have died in that same plague but Papa carted us to the old church altar and prayed over us 'til God showed Mercy and revealed that it wasn't our time to mount the stairway to Above.

That very day Papa – already raised in the church orphanage and grown to willingly serve the Sisters and Brothers that cared for the church and those that attended it – dedicated his life to being a Protector, a man who provided security for those that worked in the church to serve the community, to care for the small but treasured library of books used to teach the children of the orphanage and community. The Brothers rechristened Papa, Mam, and I with new names and it is that name that I have always known though Aunt has chosen to twist it since I came to be in her so-called care.

I should have been paying attention instead of getting lost in my memories. My head suddenly rocked back with a roundhouse punch that sent me tip over tail into the still hot cinders of the cook fire. I rolled out of the fire ring and brushed the burning bits off as quickly as I could but I still wound up a bit singed as well as bloodied.

"Why you traitorous little dragtail," she wheezed angrily. "You did that on purpose. I won't get half for you now that you're marked up in the face."

Experience had taught me well to stay silent despite the pain I felt and the illogic of the accusation. She hit me, yet it is somehow my fault, like I had drawn her fist back over her protests and sent it flying with great strength against me by my will alone. Soon enough she'd be on about witchery or some other complaint from her long list of what she held against me or suspected me of.

For once luck, or the devil depending on who should say it, was with me. The man who was my aunt's latest husband stepped into the cook tent, took one look at my face, and then delivered to her what she had just given me. "She don't fotch enough and I'll put yer ter work on yer back in the tavern 'til it be raw ter pay fer yer keep this winter."

His dead eyes looked at me and I tried not to shudder in disgust. He'd tried but the once to take me but once was enough; thankfully he'd been too drunk. The next morning Old Annie taught me my next lesson which was about the yarbs that took away a man's ability to bed a woman in all but his mind, and some yarbs take even that away. Old Annie had been my grandmother's friend and my Mam's wet nurse for a spell of time and at the deaths of my family felt it her duty to teach me more of the yarbing ways though no one knew the true depth and breadth of the knowledge she imparted to me before her own death from snakebite a few months back. I was forced to bury her body along a road that was far from our birthplace. I now secretly carry the book that held my lessons she'd given me as well as some she hadn't gotten to yet. Knowledge is power and I have sense enough to keep it hidden from prying eyes at all times or risk it being stolen from me as well as the other things taken since I came into Aunt's so-called guardianship.

Wash had a dead voice to match his gaze. "Use some wet from the barrel to clean the blood from yer face then get in the wagon Useless. Gizzy here and I need ter have a business talk."

If I hadn't known my aunt was strong as a bull – and built like one too – and could give at least as good as she got, I would have been tempted to feel some sympathy for the woman. She'd thought she'd finally found a way to rise up out of the ashes her life continually seemed to sink into when she'd married herself to a tavern keeper. Unfortunately she found out too late that the tavern was little more than a wagon and canopy that followed the salvage routes with the suttlers and traders, and that Wash cared more for the whores he hired to bring in customers than he did a wife even if she did hold enough coin in her own name to have a wagon and household of her own.

I ignored the marks on both of their faces when they climbed into the wagon. Wash asked, "I need ter tie yer ter make yer obey?"

Quietly, suppressing the fear that wanted to eat me alive I told him, "No sir."

He snorted. "Yer best save that fancy speech and respect fer the man what buys yer. Mayhap it'll work on him to soften yer lot some though given how dim yer be I doubt it." With that he flicked the reins and we were off.

I continued to look down submissively and hold my tongue though I was all but screaming inside. I would have given a lot to tell them that I wasn't dim, that I was smart enough to hide that fact from the both of them, to play act for years and let them think the fever that had carried most of my family off had curdled my brain. I held my tongue on the fact that I could have killed them all in their beds a hundred times over and nearly had after my brother had died after being pushed out of the wagon by one of the slop bucket boys. His skull had been cracked open by a shard of granite. Ol' Annie tried to comfort me by saying he probably hadn't felt a thing as it had happened so fast. Probably hadn't even had time to feel any fear. Probably.

Devils. Both of them. I don't care if I am blood related to her, she laughed and said that it … no, can't dwell on her words; they hurt too much. My baby brother wasn't but four; small for his age even amongst the population of destitute road orphans we were often thought to be members of. I'd taken him from my mother's dead body, cut him out myself the way she told me to do after she had drawn her last breath, raised him as my own using goat's milk I had to sneak when Aunt had turned his wet nurse out for drawing the attention of the rich old pervert she had been married to at the time. Many times my hands shook over their meals and it was sometimes only Old Annie's words that stopped me. She made me promise not to do such a thing as murder was a mortal sin I would carry the stain of for the rest of my life. She promised that if I left it in God's hands that He'd make them pay better and more than I ever could. I want to believe that; believing that is all I have left, but has been so hard to remember too often lately.

I've read the Good Book. Sometimes I wonder that if the thought is as good as the deed why I should deny myself the satisfaction of the act of murder if I'm already guilty of it in my dreams. I know that if I don't get away I will cave to that temptation; it is only a matter of a season or two, maybe not even that, before I'll turn my hand to it.

As an exercise to while away the moments to our destination I went through my mental herbal. First comes aconite, so poisonous it requires only a small amount to kill a full grown horse; but that is too swift an end for them. Belladonna, also called deadly nightshade, also kills too quickly; you'll know it is coming within fifteen minutes of ingesting it. Next comes bloodroot that will burn your insides and make you vomit them up but might not kill you if you purge it soon enough. Foxglove is painful and would look like a heart attack but I am pretty sure I want everyone to know that someone had finally had the courage to end their reign of terror; I certainly wanted them to know who had helped them on their way to hell. Next in line is helbore; now there is an herb for painful murder. Taken internally it will torture your body and your mind and then you finally die in torment as your heart gives out. Hemlock, jimsonweed, lobelia, mandrake … so many to choose from.

I shook myself as I realized that I was losing my grip on the here and now. This only proved to me that I had to conquer my fears and accept the last chance I was likely to have to escape. Whatever man that bought me, no matter his looks or his type, regardless whether he spit or smelled or drank or was a drug sucker or anything else, I would serve him if for no other reason than gratitude that the purchase took me away from what would have soon been a hell of my own making, a stain on my soul that would rot me from the inside out.

The wagon jerked to a stop and Wash said needlessly, "We're here."

Despite showing no resistance, I was flanked by Wash and my aunt and marched to the center plaza of the Buy 'n Sell. A high, rough-hewn platform was built to display special things being offered and rose above several holding pins built beneath it. There were a lot of women and girls there ahead of me being separated out into three groups. Since this wasn't the first Buy n' Sell I'd been to I'd seen it all before. It held no surprise, only disgust and a certain amount of acceptance.

Young, virginal females were separated out into a special group that got to be inspected by a White Sister – a cross between a high-class whore and a nurse-midwife who dressed herself to mimic something she definitely was not. If the girls passed the physical exam they received a special colored ribbon tied around their neck. There was more than one color ribbon; the girls were graded and classed like animals on display at a fair or like cows sent to market. This auction there weren't very many in that cage as most families of any means had had no problems arranging marriages for their daughters much earlier in the season.

The next group had in its number women with an exceptional skill or craft such as cooking for the wealthy or weaving strong and durable cloth for a tradesman. There were also women that might not be young and virginal but they were healthy and handsome. There were the women of learning who could read and cipher, fit to teach children or be a wife to a scribe or legal man. Basically the women in that cage had value beyond their physical looks.

The third group was the most numerous. It was comprised of all the rest, those only fit to be wives to poor men who had to take what they could afford to get. There were those females that could be indentured and put in the field or in the taproom or warehouse to work for their keep and eventual freedom. Some of the women were pretty or handsome but they might have a deformity some other place; crippled, a withered hand, bad eyes that left them unfit for work, a hair lip, burn scars, defects from time spent too near the corrupted lands while in the womb, or anything that marred them like the stain of a large birthmark. Others were trouble makers or thieves or whores or any number of things that simply made them less desirable to the majority of buyers. And such as my life had gone that it is the third group I was sent into.

That didn't go over well with Aunt who had wanted me in the first or second group to make the bigger profit. "All she did was fall out of the wagon," my aunt snarled. "You'd see us cheated for that?!"

The auction master looked at my aunt and said, "If she was truly worth anything you would have given her time to heal instead of rushing her to sale. And I know you're business and in seasons past have seen her working the bar so don't tell me she's fit to see a White Sister. There must be something wrong with her, it's plain as the fat bosom you be showing off to try and catch my fancy." He snorted in disgust at her obvious ploy. "Instead of running yer yap yer better pray I don't hide her in the pens just to cause yer grief. As it is there be too many womens; the day's prices er gonna run low."

"Then give her back. We'll take her to another sale where they'll listen to reason."

The auction master smiled grimly. "Last one o' the season you buxom behemoth. All those further ahead have already closed up shop for the harvest time too. All the signs are pointing to an early winter." The smile slid from his face and cankered steel took its place. 'Sides woman, no take backs onct you let the piece walk into the cue lessen yer want ter join her for breaking contract, and if you don't know that yer man Wash certainly do." The cue was merely a polite euphemism for the area where the men could get a better, closer look at the women enclosed within. We had to walk the perimeter of the fence until we were pulled out for either a closer inspection or an outright purchase.

I walked for hours; morning turned to mid-day and mid-day to the supper bell. No food, no water. The longer it took to sell, the worse off you had it in retribution. I didn't dare take out what I had hidden on my person – some dried berries and herbs and my water skin – or I'd be set upon by the other women. I'd seen it happen several times in the early hours of the sale and finally everyone had learned their lesson and simply kept moving and not thinking about what we lacked.

Men came and went. The smell of them was nauseating. The words they threw were just as bad if not worse. The only thing we didn't have to suffer was hands as the pen guards would lop off anything that got stuck through the fence, no matter if it was an appendage or not.

If I had had any innocence left it would surely have been washed away by the tide of bawdy onlookers that stood at the fence of the cages and made comments as the females passed by. Slowly the number of women in the cages dropped. The first to empty was of course those the White Sisters had inspected and graded; they were the fewest in number and had the greatest value. Next was the second group though I heard rumblings from those that ran the auction that not nearly as quickly as had been expected; and, for significantly lower pricing than was aimed for. Coins were tight as it had been a bad few years of drought in this area, hindering harvests and draining coffers of wealth and barter.

Slowly I noticed that even the numbers in my group had been whittled down. Not all of them for sure, but there were fewer in the endless circle we walked. But as the day wore on fewer and fewer were tapped to go to a buyer. Part of me was feeling desperate. I prayed and prayed that God would tell me if I was to escape or if I was meant to be a murderess; if I didn't get picked that was my sign that He had turned His face from me leaving me to sip from the bitter cup. As time wore on and no one even asked to get a better look at me I calmed and set myself to accept my fate; into the wilderness like Cain or the hangman's noose.

Then the big gong sounded the end of the auction and even over the noise of the crowd I heard my aunt screech in rage. I nodded my head thinking over my herbal inventory. I was tapped with one of the baton's used to shift the crowd of women this way and that, then directed out of the cage.

"Girl, what's your name?"

For the first time I looked up and around. My aunt and Wash were nowhere to be seen. In a daze I asked, "Ex … excuse me?"

Three men stood there off to the side though it had grown so dark I couldn't see their faces very well. What I could see was one nudge one of the others when he said, "See, she is dim. Rethink this madness."

The man that had been nudged said, "Your name girl, what is it? It is needed for the paper."

I looked and saw another man with a black vest and badge … a legal man. "I … I've been … bought?"

The legal man looked at me and then nodded. "Aye. Ye have. Do ye have reason to object?"

I shook my head. "No sir, I'm … I'm just surprised." Shocked was more the truth; relieved followed it. "My name is Yulee … Yulee Guardsdaughter."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

"Guardsdaughter? Don't lie to me girl."

I tried not to bristle at the implied judgment that my family could never be so exalted. "My father was a church guard. The Brothers christened us all with our names."

"Was?" the hidden man who had addressed me before asked with something like real interest.

"Was. My family … they were carried off by the angels almost five winters ago. We served in a place on the other side of the peaks."

The legal man asked, "And how did ye wind up here? The church excommunicate ye?"

Carefully as I did not want trouble in case Aunt was lurking I said, "No sir. Family took me in and then migrated to new barter routes." I nearly choked on the words but got them passed my lips without vomiting.

With that the legal man lost interest, ceased his questions, filled out the sheet of skin and put his seal on it, handed it to the hidden man and then walked away to finish a few more late transactions. I stood there, still reeling from God's timing.

"Yulee?"

I jerked my head towards the voice. "Sir?"

The third man who had not spoken to that point said, "Well, she's polite enough."

Ignoring him the man who had taken my paper said, "Are you so calm because you plan on running away?"

His question caught me off guard. "Run to where? To whom?"

"To freedom."

I shrugged. "To me, this is freedom."

After a moment he asked a thoughtful question. "Your former life was so bad?"

Carefully, thinking it might be another one of my Aunt's games I searched the crowd. Hesitantly I asked, "Have you truly bought me?"

He sounded like a man that wasn't used to his questions being answered with a question but in this case he seemed to let it go. "Aye. Five silvers."

I exhaled in relief. "Aunt will be fit to be tied but that's no longer my problem." Moving my shoulders a bit to settle my small pack of belongings a bit more easily I asked, "What are my duties?"

The man was a long time answering but the disbelieving snort of one of his companions and the snickering of the other revealed at least part of my job before the man said, "Housekeeper." His answer only caused his companions to increase their amused reaction.

For me I was not surprised. The only thing I yet worried about was if he expected me to serve his friends as well as himself. I didn't let that show however and when I didn't react the two other men slowly left off their hilarity. The hidden man said, "We have miles yet to cover before the stars come out. You'll need to eat as we walk. Are your shoes fit for such travel? Is your water skin full?"

I decided then and there that him I would serve willingly and with as much grace as I could find. The Sisters at the church that gave us lessons said that slavery was wrong but that it existed in the world because humanity was sinful by nature and that in a sense we were all slaves of one sort or another, even those that claimed to be free. The Good Book explained that if there were going to be masters, servants, and slaves that each of us were required to be good ones in whatever capacity we found ourselves; that we had a responsibility to reflect our teachings at all times, not just when we were at the top of the food chain. Papa had told me that the mark of a free man or woman was revealed in how they treated those under their authority.

"My feet are toughened to walking but I have no water."

We stopped at the pump to fill our skins. I heard familiar voices and instinctively hid behind the man with the hidden face.

"Let's find her and take her back. We can get more for her putting her ter work as one o' the girls."

"Nah, let er go Gizzy. Yer gots yer coins though fewer than you thought, and it'll buy enough grain to get to the winter camp."

Still whining she asked, "Who's gonna cook and clean?"

Philosophically Wash answered, "Shoulda thought o' that afore yer put her in the pens."

Aunt screeched, "It was your idea!"

Warningly he responded, "Were not and yer raise yer voice ter me like that again and I'll backhand you inter next week."

"Hah! You've not got the bollocks to pull it off."

Their squabbling voices finally faded but I stayed where I was trying to calm my racing heart. One of the men asked jovially, "Friends of yours? Should we call them back so that you can say your goodbyes?" His question only made me want to hide behind the one that held my paper even more.

He said, "Enough Tad." To me he asked, "You have a coat? We will be camping higher up and it will be cool."

I reached behind me into my pack and pulled the thin garment that was both my cloak and my bedding by turn. I put it on and tied it in place. He sighed but nodded. From a pocket he pulled a cloth wrapped bundle. "Here. Eat as we walk but do not lag behind. The way is steep."

I fell in behind the man whose name I still did not know. The bundle held two meat pies, greasy but stuffed with not just cooked, ground meat but with mashed vegetables as well. I took my time despite the hunger gnawing my insides; twisted guts from inhaling the rich food was not something I wanted on a long hike nor would the men appreciate the inevitable delay it would cause.

By the time we reached the place they had chosen to camp someone had gotten there before us, or so I thought. Instead, after a moment of observation, I realized the three men and the new people were part of the same travelling group. There were quiet greetings but it was late and many were already asleep. I was summarily ignored for a while so I stood quietly to the side. Finally the man beckoned me over to a wagon. "Crawl under and make your bed. I will return shortly."

There was no threat in his voice but there was expectation of obedience in every syllable. I suppose I could have run away but that would be like stealing. The man had paid true coin for me, not just barter goods. In a very real sense he had also rescued me, rescued Aunt and Wash as well though they'd never know it. Before the first snow fell it would have been me or them, there was no doubt in my mind of that. So I owed him something, at least for a while, and if not him I owed God and needed to show proof that my upbringing was better than that of a dweller of the corrupted lands.

I had not meant to fall asleep but the day conspired to sap my strength. The next thing I remember is growing warmer and that startled me enough that I woke. "Easy," a gruff voice sounded in my ear. "There is no need for silly hysterics. I have last watch and would like to get some rest."

I wanted to tell him I'd never had hysterics in my life but with his cloak spread over us we both found sleep too quickly for me to even imagine the conversation that would have been.

I woke when he moved and then followed him out from under the wagon. He seemed uncomfortable and at a loss for words when we came out of the woods after seeing to our ablutions. Then he gave a shrug that was almost resentful and without a word turned and disappeared into the darkness.

I stood there, numb, wondering what I should be feeling before deciding it was best not to feel anything at all. I looked around and saw people silent and asleep around the coals of the fire that had been banked to last through the night. The boy that had been set to feed it had fallen over, derelict in his duty but none of the guards seemed to notice. Then off in the brush and trees that surrounded the camp I saw them.

Eyes. At least a dozen, maybe more. I swallowed the lump that had formed in my dry throat. What little spit I had was frozen and I couldn't have squeaked a warning even had I been the type to make such noise. Slowly I pulled my sling from the pouch on my belt as well as a few pieces of ammunition that, out of habit, I had collected along the hike the evening before.

I looked around wondering where the guards were; where was the man? Was I seeing things? Did these dogs belong to the camp? Why did no one notice them but me?

Then I saw a large black specimen slink closer. And closer still. He was intent on a bundle that lay beside a woman. The bundle mewed just a bit and I could almost see the spittle dripping from the great fangs that gleamed in the moonlight. I almost waited too late.

There was a yelp of great pain right before the jaws could clamp on the baby to carry it away. The woman gave a piercing shriek and then there was snarling and snapping and the camp awoke in chaos. I took a limb from the fire and shook it to make it flame. Just in time too as one of the feral beasties tried to take me down at the back of the knees. I was uncomfortably familiar with such tactics and the mongrel got a singed snout and ear before I could lose a leg.

It was over in minutes. Man in numbers still triumphed over a pack of beasts though some might say there wasn't that much difference between the two groups. The carcass of the dead dogs were pulled away and summarily skinned though their meat could not be consumed as there was no way to know what they had been dining on before they sought to munch on us. Feeding on something that had been living in a corrupted area was a sentence to a long and agonizing death whether you be human or animal.

There were some injuries amongst the travelers but not many and none were life threatening though they would be painful for a few days and would need to be warded against infection. I saw the camp had a healer so I didn't say a word. The most painful of all though was the paddling the boy who was supposed to be tending the fire was receiving at the hands of a large man who appeared to be the wagon master. I closed my ears to his howls as he could have cost many their lives.

I saw an old woman struggle to right her cooking pot and bent to help her. She looked at me curiously but offered no words merely pointed and with motions told me where things belonged. That is where the man found me some minutes later.

He told said, "So you've found some work. Good. Continue as Miz Lana directs you until I return."

I nodded and then continued my task. He stared at me a moment longer then went about doing his own straightening though it seemed more about setting people to right than the mess of belongings strewn under everyone's feet from the melee. The old woman reminded me of my Old Annie. Her sighs said nothing and everything, as if she had seen far too much in this life to put up with the nonsense of the young. "Well girl, since it appears I'm to be your keeper for a bit ye mind telling me your name?"

"Yulee."

"Never heard such a name before."

"It was my mother's name, before she married my papa. The Brothers thought it fitting to christen me thus."

"A church born are ye?"

"My father was raised in a church orphanage. He protected those that had raised and protected him as a child. Mam and I did our duty as well."

"Hmmm." After a moment she asked, "Are ye fit for work or only for churching duties?"

I knew what she meant but took no offense. I realized early on as I traveled with Aunt that our church was different from many others that seemed to only be concerned with study of the Word and singing the old songs. I mean no disrespect, studying the Word is a high calling that we should all aspire to, but we are also called to serve. Our church had not been concerned with the soul alone but with the body that housed it as well. We didn't live a cloistered life away from the rest of the world; we believed we're expected to share the knowledge of the difference between good and evil and where both come from. To that end it was too hard for people to hear the Word if their ears were forever filled with the cries of an empty stomach or the pain of an illness. Rather than explain all that I answered simply, "I can work."

"Hmmm. I supposed we'll see. Gid and his brothers eat at my fire this trip. Best that he see what the pig in the poke he bought can do sooner as later. Start parching the morning brew. They drink it by the bucketful so you'd best hope it be done well or they'll be worthless and foul the rest of the day."

Putting two and two together I realized the man who had bought me was named Gid. The two men that had been with him were likely his brothers and one had been called Tad. I stored the meager information away and then concentrated on the task at hand.

Wash had been another one that demanded a good morning brew though he often wasn't awake to drink it until the sun was high in the sky; most of Aunt's men had been the same, especially the ones she married. If it wasn't to their liking there'd be consequences, usually painful or humiliating. Over the last two years Wash had found plenty to complain about but never my brew or my cooking.

I was frying mush patties when the one called Tad came over. "Oh Lord Miz Lana, you mean you let her touch the food?! I wanna eat, not worry if some dimwit has ruined it or poisoned me."

He had no idea how true his words could have rung had I been some other type of female but rather than say a word or make a sound I pulled my calm around me like a wall. His words couldn't touch me. Nor the other one either when he arrived and said much the same thing. I simply continued to cook as they complained and exasperated the old woman.

"Enough." I knew that voice and had a feeling I would come to know the tone. Gid had arrived.

"Tad, Ern … eat and then load your gear. Or don't eat and load your gear. Your choice." I heard the implicit threat as well as the brothers did. They grumbled but allowed Miz Lana to fill their mugs with brew. Since I didn't hear any strangling or sputtering – or feel the soles of their boots kicking me into the cookfire – I took it that the brew was well enough to suit them. In fact they made no sound at all as they inhaled the fried mush patties almost as quickly as I could move them from the pan to the serving platter. The only sound that escaped them was the occasional hiss as they took one that was still as hot as the skillet that it had just been kissing.

From the corner of my eye I saw that Gid also took his share. I was scrapping the last patty from the pan when he gave a look at Tad and Ern. They grumbled but stopped feeding their faces and turned to set their gear to rights as the sky turned pink above the peaks. Gid divided the remaining patties between Miz Lana and me and said, "We likely won't stop until we make camp tonight." With that he turned away. I folded the patties that had been left for me in the piece of cloth that my supper had come in and put them in my cloak pocket; there was still work to do.

Miz Lana nodded in his direction as he walked away. "You see he stopped those other two gluttons from eating all there was. Gid takes care of things so do him right girl. You may not be what was expected but if you can cook it will be more than what he was after before. And being a little dim your feelings won't get hurt on what you'll never have." I filed that cryptic bit away. Had it been under any other circumstances I might have brought myself to ask a question but I still had too little understanding of the man called Gid, the man that had bought me, to risk it. Miz Lana certainly wasn't volunteering anything more as she was busy putting her hand to cleaning and packing her own gear.

As a matter of habit I scooped some of the red hot coals into a lidded clay pot from my pack which I then wrapped in a couple of protective furs. The pot secured in its normal place I glanced up to catch several women watching me from the corner of their eye and a few openly staring. I ignored them. The Tavern whores used to do the same thing. Usually they were trying to provoke me to some mistake to get me in trouble, or make me feel like I was already making one, though often enough it could also be something more sinister to it. Being on the bottom of the pecking order in such a group was a dangerous place and I quickly learned to tread carefully and make as few ripples as possible.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

There was no wood to secure which to me was a sign of a band that only had a short distance to travel or didn't know the area very well. Miz Lana's cooking gear was put into a wagon by a young man she said was her nephew. I went to stand by the wagon I had slept beneath.

Tad walked up and sneered, "You expecting to ride like the rest of the bought goods?"

Risking his wrath I said, "I'll do as the one that bought me bids."

The one called Ern called over, "Lay off Tad before you put Gid in a mood."

"He's always in a mood," Tad said taking a step closer to me, crowding my personal space. I hadn't considered this problem and had no desire to get caught between brothers. There had been stories of it in the antique books in the library and they never ended well, especially for the female caught betwixt and between.

I clinched my fists that were hidden in my cloak but was saved from having to do something by Miz Lana who waddled over and poked Tad with her walking stick. "Go."

"Don't tell me what to do old woman."

"You'll mind me or else you'll not eat at my cookfire and if it comes to that I'll make sure no one else will have ya either ya wicked sprat. You're cementing trouble we don't need."

"She's nothing but a dimwit and so much uglier than Vaniece that she makes me want to puke. I told Gid to pick a different one if he had to have it regular but he was some set on her for some reason. What do we need her for? Just another mouth to feed when there's little enough to go around as it is." He would have said more but Gid showed up and with barely any effort threw his brother in the direction of his horse.

"Move."

"I have a right to have a say in this!"

"And you've said it. Now your say is over."

Almost beseechingly he said, "Gid …"

"I said move. When we get back to the village you can go on about your way. You'll have your place. I'll have mine."

"There's no need for this. Surely another, less ugly, would …"

"Enough." His voice was terrible and forbidding and I realized the man who had bought me could possibly be more frightening than any of Aunt's men had been.

Tad seemed to gather some sense finally and brushed himself off like he was washing his hands of the whole situation. He walked over and gathered the reins of his horse in hand and then mounted, treating us all like we didn't even exist. Gid turned to me and I swallowed and held onto my composure despite shaking on the inside.

Instead of the bloodletting I had expected he said calmly, "The horses are overworked and should not be asked to pull more than what they are already doing. Can you walk or do I need to take you up behind me?"

Quietly I answered, "I can't gather wood from horseback."

After a moment and a searching glance he nodded and then turned to talk with the brother called Ern who was sitting on the wagon seat as driver. Soon enough the call was given and we headed out. I walked beside the wagon but saw little of Gid or Tad during most of the morning and Ern thankfully desired to avoid any conversation with me. After I ate one of the mush patties I began picking up wood and slinging it into a bundle I was building on my back. It was nothing but small wood fit for little more than kindling but it was all there was. Travelers before us had stripped the ground of anything bigger than that and in fact the limbs that remained on the trees were well above the heads of even those riding in the high wagons.

The wood bundle was getting awkward when a horse came near enough to cause me to move tight against the wagon. I felt the bundle being pulled and made to grab it. "Easy. This must be getting heavy. Tie it to the wagon with the straps that hang over the side."

"Not heavy," I told him yet complying.

"Then you're stronger than you look," Gid said eyeing me as I walked and worked at the same time.

I shrugged since it didn't really matter if I was or wasn't, it was a job that had to be done if there was to be a fire to cook over.

To fill the silence since I wouldn't Gid said, "Ern saw you use a sling against the dogs."

Ern, from his seat on the wagon said, "I had just spied them from my spot in the trees. I was drawing my bow when I saw ya let go at the one that tried to take that babby."

Disliking their combined attention I merely said, "There's wild dogs everywhere. If it isn't dogs it's some kind of cat. If not that then bears, or boars, or raiders, or some other beast. Something is always out to eat you when you are on the trail."

Gid nodded in agreement then asked, "How good is your aim?"

It was not my intention to show off. He asked a question and I was merely going to answer it via demonstration. I pulled out the sling, put a small stone in the cradle thinking to knock down a pine cone but just then movement off the trail caught my eye as a rabbit bounded for cover deeper into the woods. My projectile caught it in the head and the jackthumper tumbled and came to rest all in a heap. I went to walk to get it but a dog zipped out and scooped it up. I thought the meat lost until it trotted back to me and offered it up.

The dog was huge, the top of its head coming to my chest. It could have easily been mistaken for a small pony. Not wanting to do anything to set such a large monster off I froze. Gid told me, "Take it and then tell him good dog."

I cautiously stuck my hand out and the dog laid the carcass across it and seemed quite pleased as if he wanted to play the game again after I had told him he was a fine specimen. Once I was over my initial fear I realized the look on the dog's face reminded me of the dogs my father had kept for hunting though none were near so large as the one that now walked beside me.

"Roof seems taken with you."

"Not me … the game. Papa's dogs were the same. They lived for hunting. They preferred playing the game with Papa but they would accept me if he were busy. Papa called them beagles."

"The village Huntsman trades with a man who raises beagles from the next valley over. Noisy dogs. Roof is quiet; a cross between a nagazi and a wolfhound." When I just looked at him he added, "Those are breeds of dogs. We use them to keep the wolf population down, especially during birthing seasons. Roof was mated and there was a large litter. I will get one of the puppies when we arrive in the village."

I nodded and Roof consented to my hesitant attention, making it easier for me to scratch an itch he had behind his ear. "Yes," I admitted as I did Roof's bidding. "Beagles can be noisy; excitable. They use their voices to call each other and flush their prey. Roof is so big he doesn't need to be noisy. His size alone probably shocks what he is after into insensibility."

Then I sealed my lips, realizing that I had inadvertently dropped my camouflage. I thought Gid hadn't noticed it but then after a moment he reached down and pulled me up behind him sending Roof to look for his attention elsewhere. Gid took the rabbit from me and deposited it in Miz Lana's wagon then and walked his horse off road. When we reached the brush trail that ran parallel to the road we could still see the wagon train but were far enough away to speak privately.

He asked me harshly, "Is your name really Yulee?"

Knowing it could be nothing but the truth I told him, "Yes sir."

He snorted. "Save your sirs. I'm immune to feminine wiles." I shook my head and though he couldn't see it he must have sensed it because he snorted. "All females have them. They're packaged that way in the womb."

I sighed, already disappointed that I hadn't been out from under Aunt a full turn of the day and I was already in trouble. Quietly I told him, "That's not the way I was raised. Even had I been so inclined my Mam and the Sisters would have punished me for that type of behavior. There's too much danger in being misunderstood, too much danger of someone getting hurt."

He grunted then did some more fishing. "Miz Lana said you were raised by the church."

"Not by the church; within the church. Papa and Mam still raised me, I wasn't an acolyte. Our church wasn't run that way. We were … um … I don't know what they are like where you are. Our church was a community church. The Word was most important, but so was serving and bearing fruit. We looked after each other and took care of those too young or weak to care for themselves."

He chuffed a biting chuckle. "One of them communes you hear tell of?"

Calmly I answered him, "No sir. We didn't live all together on top of one another and share in the ownership of everything. We worked together but we stewarded and were responsible for what God gave us to care for as individuals and families."

He was silent for a moment. Then with less antagonism asked, "I said enough with the sirs. Answer me this … That woman was truly your aunt?"

I tried not to shudder as I answered, "Truly."

Unfortunately some of my feelings escaped into my voice. "That was the way of things was it? A bad life?"

After a moment of thinking how to phrase it I wound up simply saying, "Yes."

He was silent again. He must have decided I wasn't the threat he had worried I might be. "My name is Gid."

"So I heard."

Another silence.

I could hear both frustration and curiosity in his voice when he said, "You are strange for a female. You ask no questions."

This time the silence was mine before saying, "I've learned it is safer to listen. There is an old saying; better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and prove it true."

"Heard that one myself." He gave another sigh before saying, "Fine, then listen. I … I bought you because I need a woman. You'll hear I nearly had one before you but that she changed her mind. That parts true. You'll hear it was my brother that she chose over me. That part is true as well. You'll hear my heart is broken. That part isn't true. You'll ignore it hear me?"

His forceful question demanded an answer. "Yes sir."

"Last time … enough of that sir business; save it for the elders who'll appreciate it. You'll call me Gid. Or Gideon; that's what my stepmother and sisters call me."

"Yes … Gid."

"Good enough so here's more. You'll hear that because of my so-called broken heart I'm destroying my life and running away. That's another untruth, or wishful thinking by some. I'm going away but not running away and it isn't to destroy my life but to make something of it. I have land; it's mine from my mother's brother. Father left the block house in the village to my brother as there was too little to piece out to each of us. He is the head of the family and for the last three years has been responsible for caring for all of the family same as Father was before him."

"Uh … Tad or Ern?"

He snorted, "Neither. Jace. He is the oldest son from my father's first marriage. Jace then Sabrina, then Heather. Jace's mother died of childbed fever after birthing Heather. Then Father married my mother. From that marriage there was only me and a sister buried in the village lot after getting born backwards. My parents didn't get on after that and decided to go their separate ways. But when I was five my mother sent me to live with Father because she said I needed a man's hand and he was it since she wasn't in the mood to have another man in her life when Father could do his duty to me for free. Mother died the following spring when she was thrown from her horse. By the time I moved back into Father's home, he had remarried yet again and there were enough babies in the house that you had to wade through them as the widow Lurna came with several young children from her first marriage. Together Lurna and my father were pretty prolific. Tad was the only son from Lurna's first marriage and Ern the first son that Lurna bore my father. Don't even bother trying to remember all of the names of the others because even Lurna forgets who is who on occasion. Most of the time they'll answer to whatever name you call them so long as you are looking at them when you talk."

Hesitantly I said, "It sounds like the church orphanage … only … only perhaps noisier."

"Aye, it's that and then some. By rights there's too many for the block house to hold. There's kids everywhere including in hammocks slung between the rafters of the attic like wreaths of garlic and onions and just as noisome. Jace is like father; he loves the controlled chaos and does his best to make them even noisier and louder when he is in the mood for a good time. He's a gun smith by trade, same as father was, and most of the young boys are apprenticed to him though the blacksmith who has nothing but daughters has taken on a few since he and Father were cousins. Lurna is a spinner and most of the girls are apprenticed in textiles save for the oldest ones who are married with homes of their own."

"And you?"

He snorted. "Neither trade interests me beyond the necessary. I take after my mother's family and like farming and hunting and wild places. The village is getting too crowded and the block house doubly so. It is time that some spread out before we starve ourselves out or bring in some plague that runs through it like wildfire. But too few are willing to live outside the wall."

Curious despite myself I asked, "Your village has a wall then?"

"Aye. Built during the Great War but it has been added to since then. It gives them a false sense of security."

I nodded. "Our community had a wall as well, but it didn't stop the raiders from sending over plague ridden corpses when they found that a siege would not work fast enough to suit them."

He reached back and startled me when I felt him touch me. "Is that how it happened? How you wound up with that woman?"

I sighed. "Yes. Father was a guard. He tried to explain to the Elders what could happen. He'd heard stories of that particular group of raiders. But sometimes the horrors are just more than people want to believe. And by the time they understand they must believe or perish, it is too late."

He was silent for a moment. "I have obligations at the block house that will take a day or three then we'll head out. The land lies a half-day's ride from the village. You'll hear … stories. You … you may not …" He stopped and sighed, once again in irritation. "Lurna, Jace … all of them … they'll try and turn it into high drama and you'll be the center of it. They'll set on you and … and try and draw you in. I don't want to see my family hurt."

After a moment I said, "You'll need to tell me what your wishes are."

"My wishes?" he barked. "I wish none of this need be, but it is. I wish the pages in my life would have turned as I planned them to. I can live with the way things are so long as I don't have to listen to it day in and day out. Their managing grows wearisome, their pity … unacceptable." He gave a discontented growl that told me more than words could, whether he meant to or not. He shook himself then said, "Ignore them if you can but I doubt a dead man could. But I warn you, do not hurt them. They don't deserve any pain from this. Vaniece made her choice and I'm not so broken or vengeful that I want it to split the family. Not to mention it is going to be hard enough for them to accept an outsider like you especially with the stories Tad is probably going to tattle. You're too different from what they know, what they had planned for me."

I blinked and realized I was making a mistake opening up to this man as much as I had. I'd shared more words with him than I had with anyone since Old Annie had died. I wanted to snap then why chose me if he had known it would displease his family but instead closed myself back off and calmly spoke, "It will be as you say."

"It had better."

I expected for him to take me back to the road but he did not. I tried to ignore the unease between us. I realized I preferred Aunt's open hostility to the strangeness of a man who did not relish his seeming dislike of me. He broke my reverie by saying, "Your shoes are serviceable for now but you'll need winter boots."

I swallowed, uncomfortable with him noticing something so personal. "I … I have fur lining for them for when the cold starts blowing."

He grunted. Then, "You'll need warmer garments."

"I layer what I have and trade off from inside to outside until it is warm enough for a wash day."

He said impatiently, "Lurna will see you dressed properly. I won't be shamed but I won't be delayed either. You don't need a whole wardrobe like a debutante."

Feeling the pinch of my pride, something that I hadn't let happen for a long time, I told him, "I need no one to make my clothes for me. This cloth may be rough and thin but the stitches are strong and sure. My mam was a seamstress and taught me the skills of cutting and sewing."

He nodded in relief. "At least that is something." There was a pause like he was ticking off items in his head. "Cloth it is then. I'm due that much from the coffers at least. But we take no more food than what I was able to trade for at the Buy n' Sell. There is none for wasting so don't think there will be banquets as you are used to."

Again I felt the pinch of pride, so strange after being absent for so long. If he only knew. I drew my mind back to practical matters. "This place you say we go. What is it like? Forest, prairie, rocky moraine?"

"Forest except for the fields, though there are areas of rocks where they tumbled down from the mountains during the Great War. For two years I've fought to keep the sprouts from encroaching and reopen fields that have lain fallow for nearly a generation. Why? Ye've got a preference?"

I ignored his question as his tone said he could have cared less even had I preferred one over the other. My lot in life was chosen. I had agreed to be a good slave and servant. But something had awakened in me. I may hide myself from others, from his family, but if he knew I was not dim then maybe it was time for him to find out just how not dim I was. "I'll have to see the lay of the land and see how the season goes once you take me there but if there is a wild edible to forage I'll find it and put it on your table. I kept the caravan from starving from point to point even when on first glance there was nothing to be had but lichen and limewater and yet did it so that no one ever realized how I pieced out the meager scraps in the food baskets or what I did it with. I can keep illness at bay but not if death is determined to have the patient … but that angel will have to fight to win for I've seen him too often to fear him any longer. If you've animals I can care for them as well as I do a person. I can help prepare your meat and season it so that it will last longer and not spoil to make you and yours ill. I'll mend your clothes, scrape your furs and hides, clean your hearth, cook your food. And I'll do it without yapping you deaf with complaints."

I snapped my teeth together. It had been too long since I'd allowed anger to ride me this way. I calmed myself with a deep breath and then thinking of a distraction said quietly, "We'll be coming to a large flat area of tall grass. This time of year it is all brown and grows right up to the road bed."

He let my previous comments pass without a slap and agreed, "Aye, we passed through it coming while it was still green."

"But do you know it? Do you know the dangers it holds this time of year?"

"I've heard stories. What stories have you heard?"

"Not stories," I told him. "Actual experience. There are great cats that hunt in the tall grass. They are called lions. A huntsman from a village on the outskirt of the grassland saw the carcass of the animal we killed and told us that before the Great War there were men that paid large sums of money to hunt for sport what were then called exotic animals. Other men, seeking to earn coin from such wasteful insanity imported dangerous animals to places they had no business being and called them hunting preserves. When the Great War came the fences fell and those animals escaped and became truly wild, migrating to the lands that suited them best. With no natural predators and too few men to hunt them, such animals grew in number; sometimes they are so numerous they over hunt the local prey and turn to men to hunt as man once hunted them."

"You claim to have seen these monsters?"

I sighed then tapped his shoulder. He looked to see me lift the hem of the leather skirt I wore to protect the cloth one beneath it and then the slip that lay between those coverings and my skin. There on my thigh lay four parallel scars where I had barely escaped death before the bouncer for Wash's tavern had speared the animal through its chest and pinned it down until it finished its death throes.

Tad's sneering voice came from behind us. "Shoulda figured she was trying to bed ya. Taking a little longer to entice ya than it normally does Gid, must be her pretty face. What decent female lifts her skirts in full view of a wagon train? This should show you …"

I jerked the leather down to cover myself but suddenly slid from the back of the horse then had to scramble out of the way of the hooves when Gid and Tad ripped at each other from the saddle. Disgusted with the both of them I turned my back and started picking up wood and making my way back to the wagon train.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

"I told you girl, to treat him well. All I see is more trouble."

I looked up to see Miz Lana in her wagon. I shrugged. "I have done what I could to not cause him trouble." Looking back over my shoulder I shook my head, "But it appears that boys will be boys until they decide to be men."

Miz Lana cackled. "That way is it? What was the cause of it if I might be so bold?"

"I was telling him of the cats of the grassland ahead of us on this road. He thought I told a story. I was showing him proof I was not."

"And this proof included flashing your silkies?"

I felt myself redden. "I have a scar high on my leg from a cat claw."

"What?!" she asked in alarm. "Is this true?"

Sighing I asked, "I'll show you but not where the whole wagon train can see."

A burly man I had identified as the wagon master said, "And my wife as well to bear out this so-called proof you have."

I climb in the wagon with Miz Lana while a rawboned woman of indeterminate age road along beside. I felt like a dancehall whore, flashing my bare skin, trying to let no man see my wares. The wagon master's wife looked and then asked, "How long ago?"

"Summer before this one past. The young lioness went after me more for jollies than hunger as there was a fresh bison kill not too much further down the road."

The woman looked over at her husband and nodded. I covered myself as he rode close. "What can you tell us of these monsters?"

I shook my head. "Not monsters, they're big cats. Bigger than the tree cats that live in certain parts of the forest in these parts." I proceeded to tell them what I had told to Gid. I noticed both Gid and Tad had ridden up and paced the wagon I sat in. The wagon master asked, "What else can you tell us?"

"You do not want to go through the grasslands in the early morning or evening as that is when they hunt most often. It is safest to travel through in large groups as quickly as possible during the hottest part of the day. They are sleepy and indolent during the noonday sun since they are up most of the night tracking prey. If they attack as a group you'll not get out without some losses. Keep children and small animals in the wagons. Avoid fresh kills because even if it wasn't done by a lion they'll try and steal it from the predator that did if it is in their territory or if they are hungry. Do not wander into the tall grass. Avoid any watering holes that other game is using as they may have it staked out. If you have a lame animal, muzzle it or it will broadcast its distress and draw the predators for what they think is an easy kill."

The men around nodded but one said, "Cross that grassland in a fast day? We'll lose at least a wagon if not a beast or two in that airless heat. And for what? A child's nightmare tale?"

His voice seemed to carry some weight and I knew as quickly as they had started to listen they would close their ears. I'd watched it happen season after season in the wagon trains. But this wagon master surprised me. "You'll all do as I bid or you can get left behind. I saw some tracks last time we were through, though they were a couple of days old and barely legible. I'd never seen the like but it fits with the stories. I won't put the women and children to danger just because a few of yers gots too much lead in the arse to get a move on." He looked around and then said, "We break early tonight. Use the time wisely. From that point we should hit the grassland mid-morning and with due haste be able to make camp half way to the river crossing."

Tad gave me a dirty look which I ignored. I also ignored him when he muttered to no one in particular, "I can't believe they're listening to a dimwit."

I exited Miz Lana's wagon on the side opposite from him and Gid and put my back into gathering more wood. Soon enough there would be none to gather. The grasslands were only the beginning. After that came the treeless land around the big river and then the rocky fields that was all that was left of a city that stretched for miles in all directions. Where they turned off from there I did not know.

I was able to collect two more bundles of wood and a piece of a third before we broke for the night. Gid had said nothing more to me though Tad had had fun enough making comments, especially when I stopped to take some wood from a wagon broken down along the road. "You don't even have enough sense to respect the dead. Stealing from them when you could see three crosses lined up at that camp."

I told him, "I've set my feet to serve the living, not worship the dead. To me it looked like whoever survived to bury those beneath the crosses was leaving it all so that some other soul didn't have to follow in their footsteps. What more generous act could that be?"

I heard Miz Lana cackle and then say, "Come girl. Help me lay this fire so we can put some food in their bellies. Maybe that will settle his lordship's mood to one less irritating to the rest of us."

All her words did was make Tad angrier. I set myself for a slap or at least a push but he jerked away and stormed off. Turning I saw Gid watching me but since he said nothing neither did I.

I didn't just help Miz Lana set the fire, I did most of the prep and cooking as well while she watched and mended some piece of cloth. That was fine. It was a test and I knew it but it saved me from having to make conversation which I was grateful for. The rabbit I had caught was the only meat in the soup so I diced it fine and seared it before adding the other ingredients. The soup alone would not carry the men far so I added dumplings. It thickened the soup into a stew and made it go further besides.

Like the night before the men ate first, but unlike then Gid wasn't in time to stop Tad from taking a last bowl that left barely a serving in the bottom of the soup pot. After the others had left I scraped it out and gave it to Miz Lana, a woman of girth. "Split it with me child," she offered kindly.

I shook my head. "Regardless of what Gid may think there were no banquets in my past. I'm used to running long miles on thin rations and it does me no harm. Besides, I still have two mush patties from breakfast I have not eaten."

"Land sakes girl …"

I took the pot off to clean it rather than listen to her protestations. When that was finished I came back with it full of water to finish the rest of the crockery. Miz Lana watched me from her rocker and then said, "You've a cool nature. Most young women would have thrown a fit by now; at the very least had an attitude or felt sorry for themselves."

I shrugged. "Waste of energy. What good would it do except create more problems? Better for me to accept the way things are and do my best to make my way. Fighting only brings beatings and beatings do nothing but make the next several days harder than they could have been."

"Had me a father and a husband that used to beat me regular. 'Twas almost a sport for them. When they both finally died I got me a husband that were just the opposite, too soft. Never understood him nor him me. He set me aside as I made him feel too bad though my past wasn't his doing. Finally wound up with a man that didn't need to hit but didn't need to prove he didn't by being weak. Took me near about a lifetime to find him and when he died there for a long time I wished they'd planted me with him." When I didn't respond she asked, "What was your Pa like?"

"A good man as men go. He was raised by the church but never felt the calling to be a Brother himself, nor a traveling preacher though he had the talent for sharing the Good Book so that even the lowliest layman could understand and appreciate what it contained. Fighting wasn't his first choice but he could and he was the best in our community at the bow and the sling; that's who taught me despite some of the Sisters thinking it wasn't a girl's place to be skilled in such things."

"A progressive was he?"

"No. He was just my Papa. He said it was his duty to make sure that I could take care of myself so that I could do whatever task God gave me in this life."

"And your mother?"

"Soft. Gentle. But strong in her own way. She had beautiful hands that played scissors and needle like a traveling bard plays his strings during story time. His pledge to God was Papa's first calling, but Mam was his second. He kept her safe, worked to see her happy. When they were together there was barely any need for a lamp their joy in each other was so bright and shiny."

Ern who had come to get warm by the fire said, "Sounds like a faradiddle."

I nodded. "Better if it had been. When Papa died too much of Mam went with him. She didn't outlive him by even a day."

I'd had enough of questions and of memories. I stood and packed the last items away in Miz Lana's wagon and then took the rags off as if I was going to rinse them out by the stream some bit away from camp. In reality I simply wanted to be away from them. At least Aunt had meant to hurt me with her words when she bothered addressing me at all. It was cruel, but easy to put down to her sour nature. These people wielded weapons that they didn't even realize they held and I was dying the death of a thousand cuts from their words.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

"Tad drive you out here?"

I jumped then mentally sighed as Gid stepped off the path and joined me on the rock I sat on. "No."

When I didn't say more he snapped, "No? That's all you can say?"

He was looking for a fight it seemed. "I answered your question. If you want something other than the truth you need to warn me before I give it to you."

He snorted. "So his calling you a dimwit and a whore don't bother you."

I shrugged. "What good would it do if it did? Reacting would only encourage him to say more of the same. Would that not do the exact opposite of what you would have of me? You told me that your family will not like me. Tad is only the first to make that truth plain. Why fight the inevitable?" After a moment I said, "Besides, what I like and do not like matters not. It will not change things. You paid five silvers for me and are owed their fair worth in return for the investment."

"Aye," he rasped. "That I did."

I sensed more than saw him before he pulled me to my feet. I felt his hand as it traveled to my waist and then make its way to a place few men had touched me and none with anything other than violence in their minds. Gid's hand was different, it didn't pinch and pull, but I still couldn't stop my heart from beating fearfully since in the end the goal was just the same.

Then he cursed as we both heard Ern stumbling through the brush calling, "Gid?! Tad has gone and gotten in a fight with that bruiser Cummins and isn't fit to stand guard. The wagon master is angry and says we'll have to split his watch and he was pulling a double tonight."

I was roughly dragged back to the wagon and ordered, "Stay!"

I crawled under the wagon then tried not to listen as Gid nearly did as much damage to Tad as the man called Cummins had. Had he only been fooling before about his injuries, there was no way for him to be when Gid got through.

I woke in the night when Gid crawled under the wagon with me but he merely shared his cloak and his warmth. I did wake in the morning to feel his hands roaming but not for long as the camp came awake. In my ear his breathed, "This may be all I get for a while but it is something I intend to enjoy as chance permits."

It is both a promise and a threat though I'm not sure he realizes it; he's a man after all and knows me not. During my morning prayers I asked the Lord to give me the strength and endurance to live with the cup He has set before me. In the end I still shuddered in revulsion, not sure which was better … to be a murderess or a whore. I thought perhaps if I were to tell him … but he'd bought me, those five silvers and that legal paper gave him the right. I resigned myself to my fate yet again. I pulled my clothing until it was modest and then left the cover of the wagon and started my day.

I was making oat cakes this time. "You're awful quiet this morning girl, even for what I've seen of you thus far."

I looked at Miz Lana and nodded, "Yes ma'am."

"Any particular reason?"

"No ma'am, not particular ones."

"Hmmm."

I stayed on the far side of the fire away from the three men who all three looked ready to chew off heads if one wrong sound was made. They were only slightly better after several mugs of strong brew and after biting into an oat cake to find I'd hidden honey-sweetened dried fruit within.

Tad finally found it in him to complain when he bit down on one and winced. "You did this on purpose wench. You know my mouth is in no shape to chew something like these rocks."

I said nothing, just kept frying. I had my back to him, not expecting what came next. "Why you little … Teach you to play deaf and ignore me."

He was off balance so the fist only grazed the side of my head but it made me jump and I tumbled sending the frying pan skidding into my leg and some grease towards my hand. Pulling my hand back away from that danger only made my fall clumsier and my hand went down on the stones surrounding the fire causing a breathless scream to rise in my throat. When I finally stopped moving I had my back to the wagon wheel fighting nausea and wondering which hurt worse, my palm or my shin since I hadn't put the leather apron over my underskirt yet.

"Oh Lord," Miz Lana gasped as she and several other women rushed to my side to see how bad it was.

Still ready to puke, more from reaction than from the pain since I had a tea in my pack I knew I could take for it, I tried to stand up but was pushed back down. "Are ya mad gilly?" one woman asked. "I've run against a cookfire ring a time or three in my years and it hurts."

"Yes ma'am," I gasped, nearly laughing to keep from crying. "It does. But we have the grasslands today and I don't know about the rest of you but I want to get through it without turning into animal feed. Once was enough for me." I managed to crawl away and stand. "There's no time for this. We need to pack up and leave." I turned leaving them gaping at my back and limped to the wagon looking for my pack then almost whimpered when I saw it was still underneath.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt someone lift me and set me on the wagon gate but it turned out to be Gid. "Let me see."

"There's no sense in it." Then hesitantly I said, "But … but it would be kind if you would hand me my pack."

As he reached under the wagon I tried to look to see where Tad was. Gid stood up and caught me searching. "He's back of the train. He won't bother you again." He face was like a thunder cloud.

I whispered, "I'm not trying to interfere with your family Gid."

"Had nothing to do with that. Tad wanted Vaniece too. He's mad at me because I'm not pining for her like a knot head the way he is. He had no right to take his heartbreak out on you."

I shrugged then winced. "I'm the handiest target that he thinks he can use and get rid of rather than live with. When you get rid of me in disgust he'll believe himself justified."

"That makes no good sense. I paid five silvers for you. I'm not just going to throw that away."

Cynically I gave a very unladylike snort. "Grief and anger very seldom have anything to do with sense, good or otherwise. And it hits everyone different. My Mam, a woman I thought to be one of the strongest people I knew, held my Papa as he died and then lay down right beside him and gave up and joined him before the sun had risen on the next day. She left me … left me to … to take my infant brother from her still warm body … left me with no qualms, just assuming that God would see to me and Jubal, like it wasn't her care any longer." I winced at sharing, winced as if God Himself had forced the words from my mouth no matter how tightly I had shut my teeth over them. "It takes everyone different Gid. That's all there is to it."

I reached in and pulled the precious glass bottle with its waxed seal and a package of black poplar fluff from the place I kept them. Not knowing what to say he instead asked me what I was doing. "Balsam Fir sap. It's the best I have right now for these burns. I need to spread this fluff and then coat it with the sap. It will act as a second skin and keep the burn from getting infected until I can get someplace and tend it better. There's no time for fussing as everyone seems wont to do."

"You really do fear the grasslands."

I told him, "Fear them? No. Respect what they contain? Yes. When my time comes to be carried off by the angels I don't want my marker to read it was from some beasties' tooth or claw."

He snorted at my words. "No, nor I. Do you need anything else?"

I handed him a carafe. "Would it be possible to have some of the hot water from someone's fire?"

A woman with a nosey air but apparently a good heart saw what else I held. "Willow bark tea. I was just coming to offer to make ye soom. Here Gid, give me that and you run and do man's wark. This be woman's wark so scat."

The carafe of tea was made and carefully wedged where the lid wouldn't pop off by the time the wagon master called the sign to move out. I spent the first hour on the road sipping the bitter brew and praying I wouldn't further embarrass myself by puking down the side of the wagon.

We were three-quarters through the grasslands and making good time when the animals started to get nervous. Another half league and we smelled it … a fresh kill. There is no mistaking the odor of viscera marinating in the hot, noonday sun.

I had my sling out and loaded despite the pain in my hand. A horse tried to break from its rider's control and plunge into the grass. I stood up in the wagon. Not a breath of air was to be felt yet the grass rippled in places on either side of the road. I straddle the grain bags and noted the ripples trying to move to the head of the train. "Ern, do you see them?"

He stood and then sat, white in the face. "Something is trying to cut us off."

"If they get ahead they'll attack from both sides." Then it hit me. "Where are the dogs?!"

"They're tied in the wagons. Or chained in Roof's case."

I started praying. "God please, please, please … they may be your creatures but so are we. Feed them some other way, let us pass safely through. Give us Your hedge of protection." Over and over just like Papa had taught me when my fear escaped my managing. Sometimes He answered the way I wanted. Usually He just gave me the strength to endure whatever lesson He had in mind for me. But this time He must have felt my lesson could wait.

We were forced to jerk to a stop as the lead wagon halted unexpectedly. Then we started again and after another hour the entire wagon train was out of the grasslands. Another hour and we were circling to make camp for the night. The wagon master came over and looked at me before grousing, "Yer didn't say they's had all that hair around their faces."

Surprised I asked, "What?"

"There was a big 'un what had hair all around its face."

Thinking quickly I said, "That … that was a male. The hair … the fur … it is called a mane. I never saw a male, only the female we killed."

"Well upfront we saw that there male and day-um the thing was easy three times the size of ol' Roof, mebbe more. One swat from it could have taken down any horse in the train; even the big mules."

I swallowed. "The big males don't usually hunt. They have a … a harem … they call it a pride. There's generally one big adult male per pride that is the leader and the lionesses do the hunting and bring down the kills for the male."

The wagon master's wife snorted being a more steady type than her husband and said, "Figgers. Male that big thinks he's too good to move his arse to hunt."

I bit my lip but felt I had to say, "Actually it's because he knows the females are better at it than he is."

That sent the woman off into a peel of laughter. She slapped her husband on the back and then gave him a smooch on the cheek. He gave her a look but said, "Oh go on with ye already woman."

Suddenly the tension was broken and everyone went about their business. It had been a long and stressful day but there was still work to be done before darkness fell.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

It felt like I had barely lain down when I realized Gid was wrapping us both in his cloak. "Ease that hand and leg where I won't bump it. Now rest your head here." I sighed trying to accept the inevitable when I felt him untying the string that held the neck of my blouse closed. He rested his hand inside and that seemed to be all he wanted because as soon as he did it he was asleep. It was not at all what I was expecting and it took me a few minutes to wonder at the strangeness before I followed him back into slumber.

I shivered in the morning when he withdrew his warmth. He mistook it for something it was not however and pulled me tight against him before whispering in my ear, "Aye. I want more as well. We'll have it soon enough, have patience." I was very glad he crawled out and then walked away or he would have seen how mortified I was by his words. Was it so easy to mistake me for a loose woman?

The wagon master came through at that moment reminding everyone, "Fill up all yer water containers here. There's no more safe drink for man nor beast for two days' ride. We cross the river this morning and will camp in the old-city tonight. Hopefully the next day we will camp at the gateway to the valley and be in our real beds that night."

Travel across the river was by ferry though in places you could cross by horse and wagon because of the drought. The wagon master preferred the ferries because bandits hung out around the easy crossing spots; the ferry companies provided security on their boat ramps on either side of the river. And this company was a good one; there were no accidents, none lost overboard, and no wet belongings.

Once on the other side of the river the road broke off in three different directions. I had travelled all three but the one that the train took for their direction was my least favorite. A little after mid-day we came to the outskirts of an old-city. All you could see at that point was foundation marks in the dry vegetation where what used to pass for buildings had once stood. Another league on and bits and pieces of the buildings themselves rose from the ground though it was in a haphazard pattern and none higher than a man's knee.

I was walking and trying not to wince every time my slip brushed the burn on my shin when a misting rain began to fall. Gid rode up beside me. "Get in the wagon."

I shook my head. "I don't want to disobey."

"But you plan to."

"Only because I'll just have to get out again unless I want to be tossed out upon my head. The wagon is not packed for a passenger to ride and from here on the road is in terrible shape. This rain will only make it worse."

He reached down, being careful of my burned hand, and pulled me up in front of him. He arranged his cloak so that the worst of the wet rolled off both of us. His closeness in public made me nervous and I tried to get him to see reason. "Your horse is tired. Let me walk."

His hand put pressure upon my waist as if to say stop my wiggling though I could barely bring myself to move I was so frozen and stiff in discomfort. "We'll both walk in a bit. Right now I want to know how you know this road."

I shrugged. "After the raid that killed most in our community, the Brothers and Sisters that were left paid the man my aunt called husband at the time to use his wagons to carry those of us who had survived to a nearby refuge, a small offshoot of our community the raiders had missed. That husband died along the trail after drinking bad water. Once at the refuge Aunt took up with another who was a well-known traveling bard. They used me to get them in places … the Brothers found it convenient and safe to send messages around in my care since I knew the codes from helping Papa. Then the bard decided he'd rather have me than my aunt but I wouldn't give up my brother and my aunt … she got rid of him instead. It was a dangerous time because the Bard was well-liked and Aunt decided she wanted a change of scenery. By then I'd figured out my life would never return to what it once was and had learned to accept that. We were far along the trail and Aunt … and well there were other men, some she called husband and some she didn't, and then she met Wash."

"The one you call the tavern keeper."

"Yes. Only it wasn't the kind of tavern that my aunt had assumed from his stories. His is a mobile tavern that follows the barter roads between the Buy n' Sells. I have not stayed in one place longer than a week since my parents died and there are only so many roads fit for a wagon group of any size out this way so I'm familiar with the routes and condition of the roads at the different seasons."

He was quiet for a moment as the rain decided to pelt down a bit harder and grow colder. "You've mentioned this brother before. The one … the one you … cut … from your mother." Startled I turned and glanced at him full in the face and he caught my eyes. "Aye, I remember your words though you've kept them to yourself since."

It took me a moment to break eye contact and turn around. "His name was Jubal."

"Was?"

"Was."

"He was some younger than you."

"Yes."

Gid sighed. "Do not make me pull the story out of you in bits and pieces."

I shuddered and it must have surprised him as much as it surprised me. "You ask so many questions," I whispered pulling my cloak forward to hide my face."

"Never have had to before. Most females volunteer more information than a man can digest. You … I'd starve on what little you let slip here and there."

Trying to make him give up whatever his game was I told him baldly, "Jubal is dead."

"From illness?"

I sighed and shook my head.

Slowly and carefully he asked, "Your … you aunt or that man Wash?"

Despite my best effort I wiggled a littIe but all he did was say, "It's all right Yulee. Just say it."

"He … he was small for his age … and … and different. He wasn't ready to be born but it was either take him or he'd die the same as Mam. And living as we did … I couldn't do for him like was needed. He would have always been different, but it wouldn't have been so hard on him had I been able to tend to his needs better. I carried him in a sling until he was three, he couldn't seem to figure out how to walk before that. He finally learned to walk and he was so proud. I was proud of him too as most everyone had thought he never would. But the other children … slum kids that run around with the traveling companies … they saw his weakness and never failed to pick on him. Once he started walking Aunt wouldn't let me keep him with me all the time any longer; she said he had to work for his feed the same as the rest of us. There was a woman … Old Annie …"

"I remember you mentioning her in passing."

"The three of us tried to be a real family but Old Annie was … old, growing frail though she was strong in spirit and feisty like Miz Lana. Still, she had no business being on the barter road any more than Jubal did. Aunt would give them work she knew that they couldn't finish. The rule was if you didn't finish your work you didn't eat so I would do my work and then try and do theirs as well. Most of the time it worked out and those times it didn't … well, we survived the best we could. Despite it all it felt like God was looking after us. Life was bearable. When I didn't think I could go any more energy would come to me from some place, or the train would have to stop, or Aunt would get distracted by some new scheme and forget about tormenting us for a while. Then came that night."

Thunder rumbled and a piece of old ruin tumbled in the distance giving off a weird echo. "Finish your story Yulee."

I sighed. "There isn't much left to tell. It was raining that night as well only harder and colder. Aunt had grown tired of all the squalling being done by the children and had confined them to one wagon. That only made it worse. They began to pick on each other, then … then they all sort of ganged up on Jubal. No one would say which did the pushing but I knew from the look on his face it was one of the slop bucket boys." My head hung so low I could see nothing but the edge of my own cloak. "He fell from the wagon and his head struck a sharp rock and the angels carried him away from me."

My hands were clinched so tight it didn't register until I felt the blisters popping from the burn. I gasped and held it tightly to me. Before he could ask I told him, "Old Annie tried to keep us going but when she died earlier this year …" I snorted. "Tad is correct, you got a bad bargain for your coin."

Carefully he asked, "You think you're cursed?"

I shook my head. "I don't believe in curses … at least not the kind you mean. It just seems that … that God must think I am too hard headed to learn His lessons any other way and because of it those around me suffer."

I tried to slide off the horse but he tightened his arm and thighs around me. "Do you know why I picked you?"

"Excuse me?"

"Do you know why I picked you?" he said more slowly.

"Because you need a woman."

"I could have had any woman in the cages and many out of that place if that was all there was to it. Besides, I had more than five silvers in my purse. Why do you think I picked you?"

After a moment I answered, "I … I have no idea."

"Because I watched you from the moment you walked in the cue. I saw that fat buffalo you've said is your aunt; she was bickering with the auctioneer. I heard her say you fell out of a wagon. I knew it was a lie as soon as it crossed her lips and it made me want to see what was under the bruises to make her so mad, still do for that matter. But there was trading to be done and I was sure that you would be gone by the time I got back and had time to look. But every time I passed by you were still there. And you were different. You didn't cry or curse, didn't moan or complain, didn't act frightened at all, and didn't try and advertise your wares like a whore. As a matter of fact you didn't make any noise at all. I thought at first perhaps you were deaf or mute or both. Tad and Ern were positive you were simple, dim. I wasn't sure."

He pulled me deeper into his cloak when the rain started blowing a bit. "Tad kept pointing out other women for me to look at and sure they would have served but for some reason I kept coming back to the silent girl who just walked the line. Every time an auctioneer would step in to tap someone I was sure it was going to be you, but it never was. Eventually seeing under the bruises didn't matter. Tad and Ern both … they kept at me, trying to persuade me to some other girl, woman but then there'd be you. I had made up my mind to have you, then they began to complain of their stomachs being empty and we went off to eat just so I could shut them up. You see how they are when they are hungry, like rabid wolverines. They were driving me mad. When I hesitated they said if it was meant to be you'd still be there when I got back. It was almost too late when I realized they had lied and told me the auction was ending an hour later than it was. I rushed back thinking that you'd be gone to someone else but there you were, still just walking. But they were shutting things down. I decided to see if they'd be willing to make one more sell. Surprisingly I didn't have to ask, they were willing to take half your price if I'd take you off their hands."

Quietly I said, "You could have been out ten silvers for me?! That would have bought you a better woman from one of the other cages."

"That's what Ern said but I didn't want any of those. For some reason it had to be you."

I shook my head. "That makes no sense."

He shrugged. "It didn't to me then. Still doesn't. Especially when I didn't know if you could even speak. I was grateful when you opened your mouth and your words weren't garbled and saw you had all of your teeth."

Flummoxed how to respond I stuttered, "I … I suppose that is something."

"Yeah. And your morning brew is as good as Lurna's if not better but we won't be telling her that. She's overly proud of her brew Lurna is. Father used to say her brew is why he married her."

There wasn't anything to say to that at all so I didn't, simply filed the information for later.

"And you can cook. I don't care what Tad said, those oat cakes weren't rocks. I've never had them with fruit in the center."

"The Sisters made them like that for the hunters to take when they'd be away for the day."

"Well they're good. And that rabbit you fixed went further than I thought it would. Means you know how to make much with little."

I shrugged. "Waste not want not."

"I've got a maiden aunt that says that a lot. Her name is Verna, she's my stepmother's twin. She lives at the block house too since Lurna's parents died." A moment passed and then he said, "I … I've got a favor to ask."

I thought that a strange thing for a master to say to a slave.

"Tad … Tad is a pain. He needs to be beat senseless. I nearly did this morning after he … but he isn't normally like he's been. And … Lurna is partial to him. So was Father. As the oldest son from Lurna's prior marriage he could have made their marriage hard. He could have made my life hard when I came and tried to find a place in the house. But he didn't do either thing. We were like brothers from the very beginning. He's more like Father than I ever was even though they don't share a drop of blood."

"He changed? Over this Vaniece you've mentioned?"

I felt him nod. "Only no one knew what it was at first. He wanted Jace and I to be happy whoever wound up with Vaniece … he's a good man."

Thoughtfully I said, "I still don't understand what you want."

"It's Lurna. And Aunt Verna. And all of the girls in the house for that matter, but Verna especially. See she was an enforcer of the court when she was younger and still has some pull and no mercy. She was the one that lashed men when they were found guilty of crimes against women. None in the house are man-haters. None of them wish men harm … but there … there are certain unforgivables in their eyes."

Then I understood. "I wouldn't have ever used this morning against him."

"P'raps not. I'm seeing that … that you see things differently. But …"

"But?"

"I'm asking you not to mention it and if … if it comes up to …"

I sighed. "I won't lie." I felt him stiffen. "But that doesn't mean I have to answer anyone's questions either. Tad and Ern want to believe me to be dim, let them go on thinking it. Let everyone think it."

Troubled he said, "That's not what I want. It's cruel."

Shrugging I told him, "You said yourself they aren't likely to care for me at all. You said that you would only be staying just long enough to finish your business. Who needs to know that I am anything other than what they want to believe I am?"

Cynically he asked, "That's not lying?"

I shook my head. "No, that's letting people think what they want to think.

'

"And you're fine with that?"

I sighed. "Gid, I've lived that way for a while now. If … if you … if you … maybe …"

"What?"

Quietly I said, "It would be … nice … to have one person think I'm something other than turned in the head. If you'll … if you'll be that one person then what others think doesn't matter."

A huge clap of lightening parted the sky and then parted what passed for a scrubby tree less than a quarter league from where we road. The sound was deafening and the light blinding if you had been looking in that direction. Every horse in the train came unglued and it took all the riders' and drivers' skill to calm their mounts.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

When the mounts and teams were finally calmed I tried to let go where I had been holding onto Gid to keep from being thrown off while he took his horse, a fiery mustang he called Rook, in hand. "You can stay that way," he said when I tried to untangle myself.

"You can't want me in your space like this."

"Can too, but I suppose that'll have to wait." His suddenly stiffened and then muttered a curse. "What is he on about?"

I turned to see that the wagon train was going off the road and disappearing into a structure that looked like it was made of stone. "He's taking us into shelter. That is what remains of something called a parking garage. There used to be conveyances called cars …"

"Aye, I attended school. I know the history … or at least some."

I nodded, sorry that perhaps I had sounded arrogant or insolent. When I didn't add any to what I had been saying he asked, "What of this … this parking garage."

"It is made of something called concrete. It is like a very strong plaster or adobe that turns to stone and won't melt in the rain."

"Aye, I've heard of it. They make a type of it in our village. Because of tight space we've had to grow up rather than out."

I nodded. "Our community used to make clay blocks and fire them in a kiln and called them bricks. Or they would pick up rubble from the nearest old-cityscape and mortar the bits together with clay. In other places they only have wood or woven grasses to use."

"What of this place? You've been here before?"

"A lot of travelers use this spot to get out of bad weather. I've been here several times. Just don't let the children go into the levels beneath the ground, you can get lost down there and there are … are artifacts that can cut and cause an infection. There's also mold spores that cause lung sickness. Most leave the tunnel covers in place but there are some too curious for good sense that disappear down there every season. In the far corners and old stairwells below there are also bones of men and women long dead littering the floor."

"How do you know this?"

"Once, as punishment, Aunt put me down there and had them pile rocks so that I couldn't push the panel away to escape." Gid uttered a particularly nasty curse that had heat rising to my ears, something that hadn't happened for a while because Wash's curses were very … creative … and I thought no one would ever best him in that department.

We rode into the area and dismounted. Tad came over and took the reins from Gid. "I'll rub him down." Despite his words to me it was obvious that Gid was still angry at Tad and I felt pulled to do something.

I kept my head bowed but said quietly so none but we three could hear I said, "What's done is done but it need go no further."

I thought my words had fallen flat but I jumped when Gid put his finger under my chin to lift it and turn it to see Tad. He looked at me confused. "I … I shouldn't have hit you."

"Your heart has been troubled. I don't wish to add to that load."

More confusion but he did say, "It won't happen again."

I nodded and then followed Gid until he located Miz Lana who was in a foul mood. "Bah! Not a dry stick of wood to be found and nothing to make fire with that isn't twice as wet as that. My tinder box tipped when the horses went crazy and got soaked."

I eased my pack off my shoulders and pulled out the fur wrapped bundle I had left over from the night before. I reached into the pack again and pulled out a bag of downy cattail fluff. Turning to Gid I said, "I was saving this to piece out flour with but if the wood in under the wagon canvas is dry, we'll at least be able to start a small fire then heat a skillet. If we share the fire and share what dry wood we have between us, there should be enough though eating will have to be done in shifts."

It wasn't easy. Only one could cook over the fire at a time so instead of a full course meal all the women threw in together and fried up batch after batch of a type of hash. The wagon master's wife brought over the largest skillet I had ever seen and that is the cook surface we used. We cooked on one half and served from the other.

Eventually all were served and even Tad and Ern seemed content with their portion. Gid had saved me some from his bowl and tried to feed me but I shook my head, too nauseous to eat. The heat from the fire had caused new blisters to rise on my burns and all I wanted was to find a place and curl up with my misery.

I heard Miz Lana tell Gid, "Get her to wherever you be sleeping. Try and get another cup of willow bark tea down her though not too much as she hasn't eaten. She also needs to drink as much of a skin of water as she can to put the water back that the burn has taken away. Then let her sleep. It's the only cure for what ails her."

The rain continued off and on through the night but not so hard that it blew in and wet our refuge. The ground was cold and hard and I slept fitfully. I woke in the wee hours to the feel of my skirt bunched up and hands where they'd never been before, but they weren't moving. A snore in my ear told me they wouldn't be moving any time soon either. I was too tired and sore to try and escape, all I could do was fall back into the half sleep something had roused me from.

The next time I woke it was to feel someone gently righting my skirt and I jumped. "Shhh. I'm covering your temptations." His breath on my neck caused a sensation that didn't leave me entirely comfortable.

I didn't know what to say. He had rights. I accepted that. But I was confused nonetheless. "Let me up and I'll fix …"

"Shh. There's not enough wood left," he whispered in my ear. "People will have to make due with water, but not too much. It will be well past noon before we reach clean water that won't sicken anyone. Is you water skin filled?"

"Tad took it and filled it last night when he watered the horses."

I felt things I shouldn't as Gid continued to arrange and then rearrange my clothing. "What are you doing?" I whispered frantically after one particular move.

"Torturing myself," he muttered hoarsely.

Soon enough he left off with the torturing and crawled out telling me to fix things right as he had doubtless all but buttoned and tied it all inside out. I was nearly tempted to crawl to the below ground when I realized he was right.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

"There it is," Gid told me.

We were looking down into a long, narrow valley. Within the valley were three distinct living districts. The closest was the town of Yellow Rock that took its name from a large outcropping answering that description that lay roughly center of the town green. It was a place that had long ago outgrown the protections erected during the Great War.

The second district was smaller than Yellow Rock but not by much and in fact looked much newer, being laid out in an obvious grid pattern. It was called Shale. It was only about ten years old and came to be because Yellow Rock had outgrown the natural bowl that it sat in. The elders of both towns expected that one day Shale and Yellow Rock would actually merge into one large town though that was likely a generation or two into the future.

The third was Gid's home village, called Riverside. It predated the Great War by a number of years and was originally something called a "bedroom community". Riverside was small but made up for that by being completely surrounded by a high, thick wall of many different materials; what usually being dependent on what era during which it was added.

"It looks like an ant mound from here," Gid said.

"Yeah, it does!" agreed both Tad and Ern smiling. I glanced at Gid and realized he hadn't necessarily meant it as a compliment.

There was a wide road that connected the three districts. Gid explained, "We've got the furthest to go but the least people traveling there. The wagon master, Miz Lana and most of the train go to Yellow Rock. Best say your goodbyes now."

"They've already been said," I told him. "Miz Lana explained some of this as we packed up this morning."

"Good enough." Looking concerned he said, "The road in is steep. You'll need to walk but stay out of the way of the wagons in case one breaks away. It's happened before. And when the horses smell home they'll be more eager and pull harder no matter how we try to hold them back."

I shrugged. "Horses are horses. I'll move to the back of the train with the others to keep out of the way." Reluctantly he nodded and went to go help Ern and Tad with the team and wagon.

In my opinion it had been a bad idea to push the schedule. The lack of breakfast and the long day had everyone fatigued. Yes, their homes were within sight but to me there was no reason to take the risk. By the time the wagons all got to the bottom of that piece of the road most everyone appeared to agree. Several wagons had nearly overturned and more than one person was thrown off his or her horse. One man in particular took a bad spill.

I had hands on his arm and was slowly rotated it when Gid road up and snapped, "What are you doing?"

There was a distinct pop and the man sagged in relief. "Thank ee."

I answered quietly, "You're welcome."

"Sorry fer the trouble."

"This isn't trouble," I told him. To relieve his apparent embarrassment I said, "Yours isn't the first shoulder I've put back where it belongs. The last time I did it the man was sick all over me from my front to my feet and he was twice your size which made for a lot of puke. Now that was trouble."

"Wallllll I reckon so," he said, his pride obviously less pinched than it had been at finding out a bigger man than he had had worse trouble.

I stood up and brushed my hands and skirt off and then turned to Gid to find the man thanking him as well before limping over to remount his horse with the help of friends. He wouldn't be doing anything but a walk but at least he had the sense to know he had to get back on the horse.

I picked up my pack but was simply too tired to put it all the way on so I slung it over one shoulder. Gid walked his horse beside me then asked, "What happened? I turned around to find you and word reached me you had stopped at the bottom of the trail."

"A wagon tried to take one of the turns too quickly. It caused that man's horse to skitter into the loose rock on the edge of the trail. The beast was too upset to get its full balance with rider attached so it dumped him and ran ahead. We put the man on a stretcher and as you saw, I put his shoulder back in place once we got to the bottom."

He looked at me. "A healer is usually called for such a thing."

I shrugged and limped along. "The first time I put a shoulder back in place was my Papa's who'd been knocked from his horse by a type forest cat we called a panther that was after the church's goat herd. Papa killed the cat but had been too injured to make it back. I found him when I went out to take him his lunch. He told me what needed doing. When Old Annie heard she thought I might have the makings are a yarb woman and Papa wasn't against me learning so long as I kept up with my chores and other studies as well. The Sisters liked the idea of having another helper for the traveler's hospital so wrapped some of my other schooling into service there."

After a moment he teased, "So you're finally giving the full story without me having to pull it out of you like its buried treasure."

I didn't know what to make of his sudden change in mood so I answered honestly, "It wastes less time than upsetting you because you have to ask more than one question to get the answer you seek."

He chuckled and then got down off his horse startling me yet again. I simply looked at him waiting on an explanation should he decide to give one. "Tad and Ern are going ahead with the wagon. It isn't going to hurt a thing to rest my horse and walk with you a while. And it is getting late and while the Avenue is usually safe there are still animals about … and sometimes beggars or the like."

Slowly the trail emptied as we passed the turn off to Shale. When there were no others about Gid started talking again. "Hiram already rode out from the village to meet us. He's one of the younger boys; I think he is twelve or something close. His twin is named Hank. Ignore them if they try and prank you, not even Lurna can tell them apart all the time."

"Twins … like your step mother and sister."

"Aye. There's three sets between my father and Lurna. She had a set of twin girls with Tad's father but one died of the spots when it was a babe."

"Oh … oh … well …"

He snickered. "Yeah, you're not the first person to have that reaction."

Cautiously I asked, "How many of you are there?"

"Don't know exactly. I stopped counting after a while. All I know is that I'd go to work for my uncle during the summer and come back and there was at least one more in the house."

I looked at him but couldn't tell for sure if he was exaggerating or not. Then he sighed and said, "Lurna will try and get us to sleep in the house but I always feel … strangled. It got to be so bad that until I was old enough to go on my own to tend to the place my uncle left me I'd crawl out on the roof and sleep there in all but the worst weather. Even the barn is crowded but at least not with people. You mind if we kip under the wagon as we have been doing?"

"It will be as you say."

He turned and looked at me hard. "You don't need to say things like that."

I wasn't sure what I had said wrong and he must have seen it on my face. More gently he said, "I bought you but I don't mean to own you."

That only confused me more. He sighed and stopped us right in the middle of the road. "I know your life hasn't been easy. It hasn't led you to have many … many expectations. What I'm trying to say is that I don't intend on treating you like that … like that fat cow you called your aunt did." He put his hands, one of them still holding the horse's reins, on my shoulders. "I mean for us to get on. Make something between us. I mean for you to learn that even if my mood gets nasty, I won't turn my hand against you."

Trying to understand I reminded him, "You said you needed a woman."

He nodded. "Aye, I did. I do. And I mean you to be that woman. I don't mean you to have to worry that that means that I'll beat on you to get my way. I know how to ask. I know how to accept no when you need to say it."

I finally understood what he meant when he pulled me close. "Oh," was the only breathless sound I could make.

"Aye. So now do you understand?"

I swallowed hard and nodded but couldn't bring myself to look any higher than his throat. He solved that by tilting my chin. "Yulee, I don't intend on being like those other men that have been at you. Give me time to show you. OK?"

Before I could answer there was the sound of horses coming down the trail and a feminine voice calling out. "Did she go lame Gideon?"

A vision on a white horse rode up looking much like the golden haired princesses that appeared in the pages of the fairytales that once resided in the church's library. I didn't need to guess.

"Hi! I'm Vaniece. You must be … U … U … uh …"

Gid looked like he'd been struck dumb. Pulling my cloak around me I curtsied politely the way I'd been trained. "Yulee Mistress Vaniece, my name is Yulee."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

The vision giggled. "Oh … oh you … you don't need to do that. Perhaps to Mother Lurna." The words said I didn't but the look in her eye told me that it would be better if I continued to.

As I was standing up I had to shift to the side quickly when I large mule reached out and almost had the edge of the hood on my cloak. "Watch that blasted animal!" Gid snapped.

"He's only funning," the boy riding him snickered.

"I'm not," Gid barked. "Do it again and I'll geld him and you both brat. Find your manners or get gone."

The boy looked like he'd been slapped. I wasn't sure what to do so I put my hand on Gid's arm. "There was no harm done. It's not the first time …"

Before I could finish Gid said, "Well it'll be the last. You're limping from the burn and though you haven't said it you're favoring your hand … probably mangled the covering on it again fixing that guy's shoulder."

Before another moment passed I found myself on Gid's horse with him behind me. A chill wind blew and he pulled me beneath his cloak. He looked at Vaniece and asked, "Did you at least tell Jace you were riding out?"

"Oh I didn't want to bother him, he's in his workshop."

Gid snorted. "Jace is always in his workshop. You should have either told him or not come out. Certainly not only with one escort."

She seemed to take great pleasure in Gid's company and told him wistfully, "Oh Gideon, you always did worry so."

He muttered darkly, "Wouldn't have to worry if you would use more sense."

From the look on Vaniece's face that wasn't exactly the response she had expected. The boy just goggled until Gid asked, "What are you looking at sprat."

"Uh … she's quiet."

"Maybe you lot can borrow some from her and save my ears from ringing."

The boy continued to stare at me like I was a bug he'd caught and asked, "Don't she talk?"

I felt Gid's chest bounce but no one else would have known he was laughing. "Say something so the boy knows you can talk."

I turned to look at the boy and said, "What would you like me to say?"

When he heard my voice he said, "How come you talk like a rich man's fancy piece? Ern said Gid bought you from the slave cages."

Gid snapped, "Hank!"

"Ain't Hank," the boy said with a smirk

"Whoever you are you little limb of Satan watch your mouth!" Gid growled no longer laughing.

Both Vaniece and the boy eyed him warily. "It's the truth," I said calmly. Turning to the boy I said, "Gid rescued me. From a … a terrible fate. I owe him my life."

The boy asked, "Oooooo. What was the terrible fate?"

"Something a nice young man doesn't need to know about until he's older unless he wishes to have his mother get wind of it."

His eyes got real big. "Oh."

There was only a short silence, just enough time for Gid to begin to relax when Vaniece asked, "Is your name really Yulee?"

I answered quietly, "Yes."

"I've never heard the name before."

"Mmm."

She asked, "But where are you from?"

"The other side of the peaks."

Amazed she said, "No. Really?"

"Really."

Another question. "But where on the other side of the peaks?"

Another partial answer. "Near a great river."

"I didn't know there were rivers on the other side of the peaks."

"Mmm."

Then the boy broke in and said importantly, "I heard there were lots of things on the other side of the peaks that are different from here. I even heard there was a great river called the Mississippi."

I responded, "Yes."

That startled the boy. "You're from the Mississippi?!"

"Near it," I told him.

"How near?"

"Closer than I was to the peaks."

They both started talking at me at the same time and I was rescued from answering either of them when a voice called out sharply, "Vaniece! You went outside the wall."

A man a few years older than Gid rode up on an Appaloosa horse. "You shouldn't be out here alone."

"I'm not alone."

"With only a boy for company you might as well be." The man turned to Gid and scowled. Then blinked as if seeing me for the first time. "Oh. Er … you must be …"

The boy piped up, "Her name is U-Lee. It sounds funny doesn't it? Never heard it before. And she don't hardly talk and when she does she don't say much. I think Ern is right, she ain't all there."

I almost fell from the saddle when with a snarl Gid reached out to snag the scamp but the boy and his pony skipped out of the way then went off saying, "Best get back to Ma and tell her what I've learned. She wanted to know but Ern and Tad ain't been still long enough for her to ask all her questions."

Gid groaned. "We are definitely sleeping in the barn."

The man Jace turned his horse to ride between Vaniece and Gid's mount. He smiled and said to me, "You'll feel like you've ridden into a carnival until you get to know us."

Ged muttered, "By then she won't think it she'll know it."

Reproachfully Vaniece said, "Really Gideon. You've turned so hard and sour. You just need a week or two back home and then everything will be back as it should."

"Ain't staying a week or two," he groused. "I plan to stay at most a day or two."

Jace and Vaniece both started making noise at that. Jace said, "Lurna will insist on it Gid."

"She can insist all she wants but we ain't staying to please her. I need to get to the cabin and make it fit for winter."

Vaniece retorted in a tone that said she was used to getting her way and didn't like to be thwarted, "But surely … um … Yulee here would like us to get to know her."

"There is not that much to know," I said favoring Gid's plan more now that I'd had a small taste of what I had merely thought he was exaggerating about.

We entered the gate of the village and it closed behind us as we were the last ones in. For it to be so late there were a great many people about and lots of noise. Where only Gid could hear I asked, "Is it always like the first market of the season?"

"This?" he snorted. "This is calm. The village celebrates at the least little excuse and a couple of wagons full of trade goods is a better excuse than most. Just wait until Lurna finds out I'll have none of her plans. Then we'll be pecked to death by all her relations coming to tell us we're breaking her heart and worrying her into an early grave."

I gave a delicate shudder without meaning to and I felt his chest bounce in a silent chuckle. No one else seemed to realize we were carrying on a conversation with each other rather than paying attention to them. In fact they just continued to talk at us and amazingly enough not expect any answers as they seemed to be making their own up with the little bit they had heard before we arrived.

Finally we got to a large block structure and dismounted. My feet had not been on the ground two seconds when the doors flew open and out poured a veritable sea of children of all ages most of them so identical looking that it was no wonder their mother could not remember their names or tell them apart.

I slid behind Gid and let him run interference. "Back you sprats! Yulee needs to see Aunt Verna. Move I say! You, out of the way before you get stepped on. And you, stop climbing my leg, I'm too tired for a piggy ride." He finally lost patience and cursed. "Tad! Ern! Where's the wagon?!"

Tad and Ern came out cautiously took one look at Gid's exasperated face and nearly fell down laughing. I sighed and shook my head. I asked quietly, "Tad, please help. All three of you have worked hard all day and had next to nothing to eat. I don't know why but Gid wishes me to see your Aunt Verna. The sooner it's done the sooner you three can rest as you deserve."

I don't know if Tad was trying to make amends or if he was as tired as I sensed that Gid was but at my request he elbowed Ern and they scooped kids up and off the walk way and tossed them into the arms of older kids, even throwing a couple at Vaniece and Jace. They flanked us and got us in the house and into an antechamber where the din was a distant rumble.

"Thank you."

Tad and Ern look at each other then flushed and said, "Uh … you're welcome." Tad told Gid, "Ma is out inspecting the wagon. She probably thought you'd go there first to escape."

"And I will, just as soon as Aunt Verna …"

The door opened and a dark haired, dark eyed woman entered wearing a dark blouse and a matching split skirt, the kind used for riding though she appeared to be using them for everyday clothes as well. "Gideon," she said and even her voice was dark. At her appearance Tad and Ern left the room quickly.

From a pocket on his pants Gid pulled something out and I realized it was the skin the legal man had given him at my purchase. He held it out to the dark woman and said, "I want to make sure this was done right."

The woman arched an eyebrow but took the skin and looked it over thoroughly. "It is a simple document but a solid sales contract. Did you get a receipt for your money?"

"Aye." He gave her another slip, this time one of rough paper.

She nodded. "All is in order."

Gid relaxed. He turned to me and said, "See. She can't take you back." I blinked and then realized he was referring to Aunt Giselle. It had never been my worry but I thanked him just the same.

Gid's smile melted when his aunt said forbiddingly, "Her face is bruised."

Realizing she was looking at him suspiciously Gid started to bow up. I stepped between the two and said, "I was bruised when he bought me."

She grabbed my hand as quick as a snake but I didn't jump as I was used to the same treatment from my aunt. She turned my hand this way and that. "And the burn?"

"Skillets get hot."

She stared at me hard and though she was good, Aunt Giselle had been better at intimidating people. I returned her hard stare with a calm one and eventually she released me. Turning to Gid she said, "Lurna is expecting you." To me she said, "You I wish to speak with."

Gid said rudely, "Well too bad. I'm not throwing her to the pack of wolves this family can turn into. She stays with me."

His Aunt Verna merely raised one brow and gave him a curious look as he guided me from the room and back into the bedlam of children and animals that seemed to roam the corridors of the house in equal numbers. The noise was disconcerting to me but it irritated Gid and he all but dragged me through the crowd, ignoring all of the questions being pelted at him, and then pulled me outside into a courtyard and towards another structure that I learned was Jace's smithy on one end and on the other end the barn.e tHH

A large number of people tried to follow us out but a woman's voice snapped, "Go inside children. I wish to speak to Gideon. Alone."

Several of the children went, "Oooooooo, he's in trouble now."

What must have been an unusual silence for that house fell in the dooryard in front of the barn. Pulling no punches Lurna opened with a hard salvo, "Gideon, how could you?! Y0u bought a … a … female from the slave pens?"

"Lurna …" Gid started warningly.

"And the things I've already heard … and no, not from your brothers; from others that returned with you. What was wrong with finding a nice girl from a good family around here?!"

"Lurna …"

"Where did your father and I go wrong?! I know your heart was broken but you can see that Vaniece and Jace are good together."

"Lurna! Enough!"

The snap in his voice was as hard as a whip. I'd heard the tone before but I was pretty sure that Lurna had never heard it from Gid, at least not if the look on her face was anything approaching the truth. "Yulee is mine. I will not give her up. Not for you. Not for anyone. Accept that or not, it is up to you."

Lurna was completely outraged and I was sure that the situation would soon devolve into something too many would regret. Into that breach I said, "He rescued me."

"I …" she blinked. "He what?"

"He rescued me."

Gid started to shake his head. "Yulee …"

I turned to him. "You rescued me and you know it. God sent you to rescue me. Why else would you have picked me? You said yourself that you could have had any of the women there, even some outside the cages, but … but you picked me when you had absolutely no reason to."

Gid sighed, his anger gone or at least gone for now. "Yulee … I told you …"

"I know. But you said yourself you didn't know why it was me. What other reason could there be but that God sent you?"

He opened his mouth to answer then closed it. "You'll just believe what you want to believe. And it is too late and we are both too tired to argue about it." He looked at Lurna and said, "We are sleeping in the barn. We'll talk in the morning about splitting what is in the wagon. Some of it is Tad's and Ern has some coming to him as well. I've got papers that show what I bought out of my own pocket. The remainder is for you and Jace to decide about."

"But Gideon …"

"No. I'm not getting into another discussion or argument tonight. Tell that lot to leave us be unless they want to be thrown down the well."

With that he reached over into the wagon and pulled out a pack, one I had never seen before, and then guided me over to the bay farthest from the house and away from the noise that still seemed to threaten to unhinge the doors and shutters, or at the very least shake the chimney and make it more lopsided than it already was.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

He closed the bay door behind us and then threw his pack on the hay that lay several feet thick upon the floor. He snorted in irritation. "Look at this." Not the easiest thing to do considering how dark it was. "Jace needs to take the boys in hand again. They seem to think smithing is the only thing they have to do around here. At least we'll have a soft bed for a change." He looked at me and pointed vaguely in the direction of the pack. "There's a blanket in there. Lay it out and I'll be back after I make sure they haven't left the horses standing around in their sweat. There's a packet of pemmican as well if you want something to eat besides those berries you gathered us during the day."

I did as he bid me but decided the effort of eating wasn't worth worrying mice would join us in our slumber, then stopped to clean the burn on my hand. I had my skirt lifted and was cleaning the burn on my shin when Gid returned. He took one look and said, "Now that's something nice to find."

I froze, unsure of what to do. He must have sensed my unease because he moved slowly. He pulled his shirt tail out of his pants and then pulled it over his head revealing a bare chest. I turned my eyes away when he caught me looking. He took his boots off, set them where he could find them in the dark if needed and then crawled up beside me on the blanket running his hand along my bare calf. "I'm not those other men Yulee."

I began to wonder if I should say something. I even started to and then he surprised me by kissing me and his actions said the time for talking had passed.

A while later I sat with my cloak wrapped around me. It felt strange and scratchy against my bare skin. Gid was sitting also, his back to me. "You should have said something."

"Why?"

"Because. I … I coulda … I woulda been more … less …" He sighed. "You should have said something. Why didn't you?"

"I …" I owed him the truth even if it hurt him though I didn't want to make him feel worse than he already seemed to. But if I lied and he caught me at it later … no, better to tell the truth now and deal with the hurt now.

"Well? I'm waiting."

I shrugged. "I wasn't … I wasn't sure if it mattered."

He turned to look at me in surprise. "Wasn't sure that it mattered? You let me think that … that you'd been bedded before. What if I had really hurt you?"

"You didn't."

"I did … a bit."

"The Sisters said that was natural."

He snorted. "It don't need to scare you to death. I didn't realize … you were so still … I thought …" In frustration he demanded, "Didn't you trust me enough to tell me to stop or at least slow down?"

Quietly I answered, "It has been a while since I had someone to trust … and never a … a … um … never a lover."

He switched his body around and then I turned since he wasn't wearing a cloak, or much of anything at all. He barely noticed since he seemed intent on growling, "Well you do now. The shame of it is that it's too late for me to make this better. We both need to sleep because if I know Lurna she'll already have the day planned down to the minute and it will be designed to irritate me on purpose. And between her pulling us to and fro I need to see that you're properly kitted and get to the market and pick up the last few items so that we can get out of here."

With no warning he wrenched my cloak away and slid my blouse back over my head. "What?" I got no further because I had to stop talking in order to spit out a wad of cloth that turned out to be my slip that had somehow gotten tied up inside the blouse. I tried to push his hands away. "I can dress myself."

"I undressed you so it's my privilege to put your clothes back on." Then he sighed. "Though perhaps on second thought you better do it after all because I'd just as soon you leave them off. I've been dreaming of sleeping with you like this and before much longer it will be too cold and I'll have missed the chance."

I swallowed and we both heard my throat click. He pushed a lock of hair out of my face before saying, "Unless I've … I've turned you off … er … being with me?"

I sighed. "You ask so many questions."

"Well this one needs an answer."

I sighed and tried to hide what wasn't properly covered. "I … I never thought much about this part of it. I knew it would happen to me sooner or later. The way things were it was bound to. There have been those that have tried already." He growled at that but all I could do was shrug. "I knew what you wanted me for when you bought me. I … I didn't run away then." More quietly I told him, "And I'll not run away now."

He didn't let my modesty keep him from coming behind me and putting his arms around me. "That's not precisely what I asked." He sighed and then said, "Isn't there anything you want from me? Anything at all?"

I bit my lip. I knew what I wanted to ask but I worried and then the words left me as if they'd been pushed. "Don't … please don't … don't share me."

His arms went hard about me and I almost couldn't breathe. "What?!"

"I know you have the right. Even your aunt said the paper was good where you bought me. But please … don't share me." I couldn't stop the shudder that racked me.

"Shhhh. Easy Yulee. I won't share you. I give you my word."

Surprised I turned to him and said, "Your … your word? You truly promise?"

"I truly promise. Put that fear away."

For some reason I believed him and at least one knot untied itself. I tried to catch myself when I felt us tipping over but he was having none of it. "Come. We need to sleep."

"But … my … um … my clothes."

"Hush. I'll dress you in the morning. For now I'm determined to have some sweet dreams even if they're short ones."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

Gid had his head in his hands growling. "I'm going to skin the lot of you and string your carcasses in the trees!" he yelled.

"But where's your clothes Gid? And why'd you roar at us and throw your boots? We just came to say good morning."

"Yeah Gid. How come?"

"Isn't the hay scratchy without your pants on? That's no way to play in it; it'll cut yer bum ter ribbons."

"Don't be stupid, they weren't playing … they were cuddling like Jace and Vaniece do when they think no one's looking but we see 'em all the time. They're as bad as the house cats."

"I'm not stupid. You're stupid."

"No you are."

"Not me … you!"

"C'mon Gid. Hurry up. Show us what's in the wagon."

"No. Tell us a story!"

"A story! A story!"

"Did you bring us anything?"

"Yeah! Did you?!"

Gid had finally had enough. "Argh! SCRAM! And shut the blasted … Grrrrrrr!"

It was like being attacked by a herd of wild jackthumpers; a rude beginning to an already overcast day. I knew that if I had charge of the cook fire the first thing I would have done was start a large pot of morning brew and start pouring it down people's throats. Gid looked at me and sighed, "Armor yourself up. They'll do everything in their power to bedevil you if they think you're weak and even if they learn you're not."

Swallowing away the worry his words brought I asked, "What do you wish of me today?"

"I wish we could have just one day to lie abed in privacy before getting back on the road but considering there's no bed to lie about in, and the terrors are already up and moving, that's not going to happen," he answered as he refused to turn his head while I dressed and in fact made it a harder task by "helping."

"Very well, since you cannot have that what else do you desire?"

He grinned when I finally managed to get everything where it belonged and my bodice tied despite his so-called help rather than because of it and said, "One of these days I'll manage to fluster you."

"Hmm," I responded noncommittally, refusing to admit that he already did.

"First we'll need to wade in and try and get a bite of the morning meal before the locusts inhale it all. From there it will be to the wagon and then to add it to the inventory of the goods I've already set aside. It needs be done quickly as possible as I need to head to the market. Are you game?" I nodded and we stepped out into the courtyard.

It was hard to get anywhere near the kitchen there were so many bodies milling about. Jace and Tad were deep in conversation. A disgruntled Ern came by grimacing while looking down into the mug he carried.

Gid asked him, "What's up?"

"Ma is in a mood and has abandoned her post. I'd duck out if I was you. Seems you're ta blame. Unfortunately, Vaniece tried ta help by putting her hand to making the brew this morning." Ern shuddered dramatically.

It was getting rowdier with discontent by the moment. I wondered if this was a test like Miz Lana had tried but then decided it didn't matter. Gid, Ern, and Tad had not eaten much the day before and they all looked weary eyed and hollow cheeked beneath their bristle. They needed sustenance. They needed brew. And not necessarily in that order. But the only way to get it for them was to feed all of the children who were acting as wild as young mustangs. I girded my loins and waded in.

When I finally reached the kitchen I found Vaniece having what Mam would have called the vapors, an old term for a feminine version of a tantrum due to seeming to feel the need of some extra attention. I ignored her tears as they flooded the table and turned to a girl near my age that stood looking calmer than most of the others. "What was on the menu?"

"Hash," she answered pointing to a pile of potatoes, onions, and peppers.

After a moment of thought I asked, "Which of the boys can be trusted with the big knives?"

"I wouldn't trust none of them as far as I could throw them but I suppose if you want the ones that won't start a sword fight with the big pig stickers that'd be Shem, Hank and Hiram."

"Get them please," I requested as I set about doing what I could to rescue the brew by thinning it with a bit of water so that it wasn't as thick as brick mud and then adding a little sweetening and cream from the churn that sat waiting to be taken care of.

When the named boys climbed over their siblings to reach the kitchen they said, "Lolly said ya wanted us to do some skinnin'."

"Not skinning, chopping."

The shook their heads and started to back out. "Cooking be wimmens work."

"Then I guess you do not wish to eat."

That stopped them. "Huh?"

"Until all of those potatoes are chopped I cannot start cooking. I was told you three were mature enough for the big knives but ..."

One of the twins said, "Ah, so that be your game. Ye think ye can jest boss us cause Gid be bedding ya."

"I do not wish to… er … boss you. I am trying to serve your family. However, I cannot chop all of this and get it cooked up by myself unless you are willing to wait until after the noonday meal to eat it. By then you will be working at what chores Jace sets for you and he might not be in the finest of moods himself all for the lack of me finding someone strong enough and mature enough to mind the large chopping knives."

The three put their heads together then the one who had spoken before sighed dramatically and said, "Well since it is fer Jace and since the others er just as liable to chop their fingers as the potatoes I reckon we can do it jest this once."

While the boys chopped the potatoes in a way that revealed that regardless of their drama play they'd done it more than a few times before, I started a fire under the large sheet of metal that reminded me of the cook top the Sisters used at the orphanage. While the metal surface heated I chopped the peppers and onions. Soon enough the hash was frying in piles big enough to feed a militia unit and Ern had come by once again and pronounced the brew drinkable. "Not as good as ye did it on Miz Lana's fire but passable." I nodded and then he added, "Gid says he'll be in directly to make sure the savages don't add you on the menu."

Vaniece had finally left off her tears and she and a couple of other older girls were making what I knew were called tortillas. They are a staple bread in this area and Old Annie and I had learned to make them shortly after Aunt married Wash and brought us this side of the peaks. What did surprise me was that instead of using dishes the girls came and scooped some of the hash into each tortilla and then handed them out, oldest first and downwards.

First Jace then Tad then Gid then Ern but after that I lost track. After the men and older boys had been served a tray was carried out by Vaniece which I suspected was for the women. When she didn't return I heard one of the older girls mutter, "Typical" before she began handing out food to the older girls and the younger children who were practically going mad at that point.

After everyone had been served I was cleaning the sheet of metal when I saw two boys running off around the house giggling and I realized that they had taken the last bit of hash that I had set aside for my own breakfast. I didn't make the scene that those standing around seemed to be eager to see. It wasn't the first meal that I had been denied and though I was hungry I knew it wouldn't kill me.

A moment later Gid found me cleaning my hands and said, "I should have thought. Did you hurt it again?" I blinked at him and he explained, "Your hand, did you knock it about and hurt it again."

I shook my head but he turned my hand and looked it over despite my answer. "And did you eat?"

"Hmm."

Glancing around suspiciously and catching guilty looks on a few faces Gid shook his head. "We'll get you something at the market."

I pulled my hand away, uncomfortable with the public touching and told him, "There's no need."

He snapped, "There's need if I say there is. That fat ol' hag may have worked you to death on starvation rations but I'll not have it any longer. Understand?"

I just blinked at him. "Did … did you not get any brew this morning?"

I heard several young girls giggle from the bushes which caused Gid to turn around and growl at them sending them screaming into the house. Gid snorted but his temper had been diverted. "As a matter of fact I barely got the dregs of the pot once Tad and Jace heard from Ern that you'd fixed it up and made it drinkable." He looked around and said, "Leave the rest of this to the girls; Lurna does. There's some kind of schedule about that tells them whose turn it is. Come with me to the wagon, I've got something to show you."

I followed him dutifully, two steps behind but he insisted on pulling me up beside him and then kept his arm there causing a few to snicker and whisper behind their hand as we passed by. Then I heard a bell being rung off in the village and the children of all ages scrambled and seemed to run about manically and then completely disappear.

I looked around at the suddenly empty courtyard and Gid smiled cynically at the expression that must have been on my face. "The bell calls them to school and work. Lurna's eldest brother oversees the village's educational system and can be a hard taskmaster. If you aren't on time he gives you tallies and so many tallies equal a strap across the backside … in public … and it doesn't matter whether you're girl-flavored or boy-flavored. Not even these sprats are so stubborn that it takes more than one strapping to get the point across. At least it'll afford us a moment of peace."

Without warning he pulled me behind an overgrown bush and kissed me and put his hands in places he seemed fond of putting them when I least expected it. He pulled back and smiled, "Now that makes up for missing my mug of brew this morn."

All I could do was look at his throat and lick my lips. "Ah Yulee … don't do too much of that or I'll be yanking you behind every bush and finding every corner to pull you around between here and the market." I didn't say a word but whatever he saw on my face made him chuckle and snag another kiss.

He let me walk the rest of the way to the wagon without his hands upon me but I swear I could feel his eyes looking and touching me in places that were just as disconcerting had he been using his hands. We finally reached our destination.

"It looks some emptier doesn't it?" he asked while looking at the wagon.

I nodded.

"That'll be remedied before the day is out but first come here." I walked to the back of the wagon and he climbed in and then he helped me up being careful not to tug on my hand that was burned but healing. "Look here. I'd forgotten about it until Jace mentioned it this morning."

What he asked me to look at was a painted, wooden chest of some size. He opened the lid and the smell of cedar drifted out. "It was my mother's. It has been sitting up in the eaves of the attic since she died. Ern and Tad and even Jace helped me to bring it down. I suppose Father tucked it there to keep it safe and out of the way. He had a letter inside that said I was to take it should I ever set up my own house."

I kneeled down and touched the fabric on top but then quickly pulled my hand away. Gid asked, "What's wrong?"

Quietly I told him, "My hands aren't fit to touch such nice things."

He squatted beside me and said, "Aw, that's just sheets for bedding. Below that there's two feather pillows though the ticking needs mending and below that some other household goods. Means we won't have to spend near what I expected at the market."

Suddenly I realized that I'd moved around so much I'd forgotten how much it took to live in just one spot. "What all do you need for your house?"

He shook his head. "More a cabin than a house and it isn't mine."

I looked at him in confusion. He rested his forehead on mine and said, "I needed a woman to make it a home so that makes it ours, not mine."

His words surprised me so much I lost my balance and fell from my haunches to my rump. "Oh."

He ran his hand down my arm. "You'll see Yulee. It won't be like it was before. We'll both get out from under what's been riding us so hard. We'll work of course, but we'll be able to breathe while we're doing it." My face felt strange. I put my hand up to try and work out what was different and realized my lips were trying to remember how to smile.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

For the third time I was nearly bowled off of my feet by someone running through the narrow streets that made up the village market place. While I ate the fruit pasty that Gid had purchased I looked yet again at my surroundings. The buildings on either side of the street were so close together they seemed to lean towards each other and keep all but the highest sun from reaching the area below. Wooden areas attached to the buildings that I knew were called balconies created even more shade. Laundry strung between the second and third stories flapped in the breeze like flags or banners.

I knew about markets. If you added up all the hours I'd been forced to follow Aunt around the stalls of the various Buy n' Sells, trade posts, rendezvous, and tables set up in the lee of a village palisade it could have been measured in years. Her men always brought money or influence in of some type but Aunt always had a scheme or game going herself. She said she did it to stay sharp to make sure no one could ever steal her blind like the family of her first husband had. Aunt knew the value of her silver and copper and ran a hard bargain. And she expected those that worked for her to know how to as well in case she sent you on an errand or sent you to scope out a market or particular vendor.

It took me very little time to pick out the cheats who put an unnecessary finger on the scale or those that were careless and spilled what by rights should have gone into the bag. I also saw some that thought too much of their goods and a few that thought too little of them. When Gid would go to stop at a booth that raised my suspicions I would try and direct him to a different one that had the same or better goods for a better price. He caught on but when I tried to direct him away from a booth that held strings of beads he wouldn't budge.

When he was through haggling he placed a thong of polished beads made of green jasper around my neck. "There. They match your eyes."

I didn't know what to say. I'd never had anything like it and certainly was unused to receiving such things. I was almost afraid to touch them. "Gid … you … you …"

He smiled and told me, "Just say thank you."

I swallowed and shyly said, "Thank you."

That was the only bit of wasted coin that he spent that day. That and the bit he insisted on spending on a shared noon day meal of meat threaded and cooked on thin sticks of apple wood, a packet of roasted roots, and a piece of fried dough drizzled with honey. I was unused to eating so much, especially food so rich, but he laughed it away when I told him I would become fat and indolent if he did not stop trying to stuff me full. "You can stand a bit of added weight. It surprises me every time I pick you up. I have to watch my strength or I'll wind up tossing you over the wagon instead of in it."

When he came to the end of his list and was satisfied with his purchases as well as the arrangement to have delivered what we couldn't carry ourselves he turned us back towards the corral where his horse waited. "If you don't mind walking we'll load Rook with the packages."

I nodded.

"You sure you're not tired?"

"I'm fine. Aunt walked further and faster plenty of times at the big Buy n' Sells and I had to keep up and carry her purchases."

He snorted. "I don't want it to be the way it was for you."

I put my hand on his arm and said, "It's not."

He gave me a slow grin then we headed away from the market that was almost as noisy as the block house had been. As we walked he talked. "I have most of the needed tools stored at the cabin. They were Uncle Fid's and are still in good shape. I've used them plenty over the years. I've got the seeds for the spring crops and garden as well. I was there right before we headed out on the barter road; the structure is sound but it could use a little cleaning."

Something in his voice had me glancing at him. Catching me staring he said, "Ok, a lot of cleaning." I just kept looking. "Alright … it hasn't had a woman living there regularly since my grandmother's oldest aunt and her husband farmed the land back in the Dark Days and even then Uncle Fid said that it's normal look was messy from what he could remember. I got rid of all the hay ticks and rotted furniture that was falling apart and burned them. I had to throw all of the rugs on the same pile. The only thing covering most of the windows are the shutters. Glass for the panes will have to wait until I'm sure I can bring in enough with crops. But the furniture that is left is sturdy. There's some things in the attic you might like … some are strange looking and probably old enough to be salvage pieces from right after the Great War, or maybe even before. And there's books, nearly a whole wall in one of the bedrooms."

I tripped over my own feet in surprise. He chuckled. "Ha, thought that would get your attention. And during the winter when the snow flies there'll even be time to read them."

"Truly?" I asked, stunned at the very idea.

"Truly," he answered, seeming quite pleased with himself.

I nodded, afraid to put effort into believing that I'd really be seeing that many books in one place again. Surely he had to be exaggerating.

"The one good thing my uncle did was to bring in large clay pots with sound lids. We can store our pantry goods down in them and not have to worry about mice spoiling them. I'm owed two milch cows from the village herd and we'll be taking one with us. Tad will keep an eye on the other and then bring it and a bull up next summer when I have a pasture fixed. It makes no sense for me to take any other horse but Rook here who is used to his freedom as well and would be miserable closed up in the village. I've a team of ox that will pull the wagon and be more fit to pull a plow than anything else would be."

I nodded.

"What are you thinking?"

"That you bought enough food to feed three large raider groups the whole year 'round."

He said, "We aren't coming back to the village any time soon Yulee. We need to be prepared for the weather to fail us or for the crops to fail."

I nodded. "I understand that, but do you plan on me helping at all?" I hadn't meant to sound complaining but then it came out. "You buy all of this … with real coin no less. Just like you bought me. If you don't need me to help get food, is … is a bed warmer the only thing you need me for?"

I could have slapped myself when the words escaped my mouth. I waited for … well, not the hit as Gid said he would never do that but I was sure a good tongue lashing was in store. Instead Gid put his arm around me and asked, "So you want to help? With the cabin and food and such?"

I felt ashamed for losing control. I'd promised myself that I'd behave better and give Gid my complete obedience for rescuing me from my other fate. And instead here he was putting up with nothing but noise from me.

"Hey, you're really upset."

"I … I'm sorry Gid. My mouth got away from me. Don't … don't … sell me away."

He stopped so quickly that Rook ran into us both and snorted his displeasure. Gid jerked me around and said, "Now let's get one thing straight. You're mine. I ain't sharing you with anyone and I ain't letting anyone take you away. Got it?" All I could do was look at him in shock. "I said got it?" When all I did was continue to stare at him he shook his head and swore. "Come here." He practically dragged me into an alley. He swung me around to face him and said, "It's not my way to be rough with females but if that aunt of yours was here right now, big buffalo that she is, I'd still put her to the lash. Now listen up." He put his hands on either side of my face but it was gentle. "You're mine. It ain't the silvers that says so. It ain't that skin that says so. It's me … I say so. And that ain't gonna change. I know it hasn't been hardly any time since I took you out of that cage. I know it ain't even been a day since … well since I had you for the first time. But time don't seem to mean nothing for some reason. I know you've had it bad, but I'll fix that. You … you just need to not be so afraid. Oh I know most folks wouldn't guess you are but I've held you in the dark and felt you shiver when you don't think I notice. I've felt your heart hammer when something happens you can't control. It never shows in your face or voice or manner but I've still felt it coursing through you." He pulled me into an embrace. "It'll be ok Yulee. We'll work on it. By the time spring comes all the fear and such will be a distant memory."

No one had ever talked to me this way. Everyone had always expected me to be strong, to show no fear, to show no worry. There shouldn't have been any if I was truly relying on God. I'd prayed time and again for help in being strong enough but it always felt like I was falling short. And then came Gid. I still wasn't sure what to make of it. My brain felt like it had been caught in a wild torrent. But I knew he was waiting for something. I didn't have any words to give him. But what I did do was slowly ease my arms around his lean waist and embrace him back.

Quietly he repeated, "You'll see Yulee. You'll see."


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

We were quiet after that. It wasn't a bad quiet but it was a thoughtful one. Gid seemed to like that I tucked myself near him and the only time I stopped was when I had to steal one of my braids back from Rook who seemed to think it a game to take turns between tugging my cloak or goosing me to make me jump.

I was wiping the horse slobber from my braid yet again when Gid slowed and then swore. On alert I looked where he was glaring and the block house, only a little further ahead, was fairly vibrating from all the people milling about and talking at the top of their lungs.

"I should have known." I looked at him waiting on an explanation. Turning to me he said, "Lurna has called all the family together that she could get on short notice. I hate this."

"Do … do you wish to go someplace and wait them out?"

'Hah! I would if I thought it would do any good. The whole lot of them have more staying power than a burr in a horse blanket and even more ability to be irritating. I supposed I'd better go face the music … but I'm going to tuck you somewhere away first until I can get the feel of the crowd."

I looked at him then asked, "Is this … is this protecting me?"

Gid turned a scowl in my direction and then his face softened into a smile. "Yes, this is protecting you."

"But it is because of me that they are upset."

"No. Because of my choice."

"You said I was your choice."

"And you are … but it's more about the act of choosing than you personally. Lurna expects us all to run everything by her first." He started to add something then stopped.

Hesitantly I asked, "Did you run … Vaniece by her?"

'Yeah. Yeah I did. But Lurna thought she was better as a choice for Jace. Vaniece got caught betwixt and between. I made her choose." He shrugged. "So Lurna put her to Jace who seemed surprised but happy to have her. I made an ass of myself a time or two before I realized it was more how fast she seemed to get over me than that she got over me."

"Ah. And … and then there was Tad."

"Yeah. Had I known how strongly he felt I would have stepped out of the way sooner and willingly or tried to get Lurna to lay off the matchmaking with Jace. I won't hurt Tad by telling him this but I think we are both lucky to have escaped. Vaniece seems to want way more attention than anyone has the time to give her in a house this full; more than she should need in any house. And she can't fix brew worth spit and her cooking isn't much better."

Judiciously I said, "She made the tortillas for the morning meal."

"And the only reason she can do that is because Lurna wouldn't let up until she learned how to properly. Vaniece's father is a merchant and widow; he hires a keeper for the house work and a cook for the kitchen. She just never had to learn and apparently, she was never made to. And here now Lurna is determined to turn Vaniece into the lady of the block house even if she has to drag her into it kicking and screaming. Vaniece thought that with all the children around to share chores the burden would be very light. She had no idea how much work Lurna puts into making things run as well as they do despite the trouble all those hellions cause."

I didn't dare criticize but it seemed to me that if Lurna spent more time organizing the "hellions" that the chaos and resulting work wouldn't have been anywhere near as bad as it seemed it was on my short acquaintance with it. The church orphanage had a lot of problem children as well, not just poor to no manners or the need to fight with everyone and everything but many had deformities from birth and had simply been left on the church steps or were brought back by our missionaries, but even with all of that it had run smoother than what I had witnessed this morning.

Turning to Gid I said, "Let them think I'm dim or slow. That you just wanted a woman to do for you, to work, and that since I'm quiet it suits you."

Gid was back to scowling. "No."

I looked at him.

"I said no and that's the end of it. They can accept my choice or not, either way I'm not giving you up even if Lurna bays at the moon and brings every female relative birthed in the last 50 years to bear against me."

There were a couple of male snickers coming from behind some trees and Gid move sharply between me and the group that trailed out. "Easy boy. Had no idea you were so set on the gal though I suppose we shoulda known the way Tad and Ern are trying to put Lurna off the scent that it must be something like that." Gid just scowled.

"Aw now son, don't be thisaway. You know Lurna only wants the best fer ya. She's had your raising since your own Ma died."

"I know it and that's why I've been trying to be patient but this was a dirty trick. First she acts like she's dying and Yulee has to fix the brew and cook the hash all the while facing down a houseful of savages out to get her and now we come back from business to find Lurna has set up a veritable avalanche of relatives to fall on us."

One of the men chuckled, "Aye boy, you have my sympathies. Best ter get it done and over with and then go find a little private place to spark ter make yerself feel better."

"Privacy?! There's not a speck of it to be found anywhere, not even the flaming barn," Gid barked. That only turned the men's chuckles into true laughter.

"Ah well, best face the music anyway. Then we can all eat and drink and after drink comes drunk and after drunk comes sleep."

"We've got work to do!" Gid squawked in outrage as he was lifted onto the shoulders of the other men. I simply stood there unsure what I was supposed to do. Gid called back, "Take Rook to the barn! Try and unload him and I'll find you as soon as I can!"

Rather than lead the horse straight through I went around the back way that we had left by. It was easy enough to do since everyone's attention was focused towards the front. Poor Rook was nearly as glad to hide out in the barn as I was. I removed the packages from his back and put them into the wagon that had been moved into the barn. Then I took off his saddle and blanket and the rest of his tack and rubbed and brushed him down. Papa had been particular about how his horses were treated and he'd taught me that God made us stewards not to do a half job but a whole one and not just a whole one but one to the best of our ability. Rook got the whole treatment … rub down, brushing, I combed his mane and tail and even treated his ears for mites when I found them. I gave him his feed portion and then stood back to admire a very contented horse.

Suddenly the barn door opened and the mop-headed trio from this morning came in. "Oh, there ya are U-Lee." Their tone warned me as soon as I heard it so I was on guard. "Gid is in a bad way. He needs you ter come."

I waited them out to see how far they would take their farce and when I didn't respond in any way they got confused and said, "Well … er … um … ya see …"

I sighed and shook my head. "No. Gid told me to wait here until he came. You may now go out and tell the others they won't be able to fool me into disobeying him."

One of the twins sneered, "Sure of that are ya? Well, guess it's for the best. All you'd see him doing is kissing Vaniece. It's her he loves with his heart. He only wants you for his loins."

I continued to look at him. "Aw wait, maybe you ain't heard. See Gid, he's heart broke. It's the only reason he woulda fallen so low as to get a woman from the slave cages. And you ain't worth that much as it is since he only paid five silvers for you."

Calmly I told them, "He got a bargain. There was a half-price sale to entice him to take me off their hands."

"What fer?"

"You'll have to ask them that. Right now I have chores to see to. It's evil to leave someone you care for all the work. Come Judgment Day God will be sure to point out the failing for everyone to see if he doesn't get you sooner than that."

They looked at me like I was crazy and left the barn a lot quicker than they had entered it. I looked at Rook and asked, "Was it something I said?"

Gid walked in behind the boys just in time to hear me talking to his horse. "Getting lonely in here all by yourself?"

I shrugged.

"What did those limbs of satan want?" he asked coming to check over Rook and then leaning back in surprise. "Don't tell me they did this?"

I couldn't stop them. My lips twitched when I answered, "It would be a lie if I did."

I bit my bottom lip to try and stop the twitching but it had caught Gid's attention. "What's this? Are you really gonna smile?"

I shook my head but Gid seemed inclined to take advantage and swooped in for a kiss and tickle. "I'm not sure I want to know what it took to get you to nearly smile. But I'm going to ask anyway."

I shook my head, lips twitching again. "They … well they aren't quite the … the genius tricksters they believe themselves to be. I've been had at by those much more interested in causing harm. They're nothing but babes in the woods and I was just thinking what their faces would look like if I were to tell them their heads are much bigger than they should be."

Gid started chuckling and it turned into a belly laugh. "Aye … that'd be a sight for sure." He calmed down and said, "Come walk with me? I think the worst is over. Father's brothers are all already three-quarters soused but I would like you to meet Lurna's brother Ned, he's the one I told you runs the tight ship."

I nodded but felt bound to ask, "Are you sure? They are your family."

He placed my cloak around my shoulders and said, "They could be yours too if you can bring yourself to get to know them and they you. I know you've done nothing but seen their backsides up to now, but they aren't normally quite this bad. And they're actually tolerable in small numbers most of the time."

With that ringing recommendation we stepped out and I noted it was cooler in the evenings than I expected for the time of year. The noise hit me like a hammer and I nearly retreated behind Gid but he put his arm around me and though I was quiet and unable to bring myself to answer many of the questions thrown at me I wasn't actually required to as many of the questioners had a habit of answering themselves.

Gid and I were tugged this way and that but eventually we wound up at the end of a long trestle table with the man called Ned. Gid left to go get us something to drink and Ned and I were talking about books … the ones I've read, the ones he had read, the village library, and how new books were being printed in Yellow Rock by a man who had finally managed to duplicate a working printing press from plans salvaged from an old-city by his grandfather. For now it was mainly technical manuals and reprints of old books, but a mission not far from Yellow Rock had placed an order for several Bibles.

I was listening raptly when I felt the first sting. I brushed it away but wasn't concerned; it was only one after all. Then there were two more, I was on the border of becoming concerned when suddenly it felt as if my leg was on fire. I jumped up and shook my skirts which were covered with large ants.

"Oh … oh … oh …" I tried not to panic. Panic was the enemy but my chest was already tightening, my throat closing up. I tried to call, "Gid!" but it barely came out in a wheeze.

I could hear laughter and Lurna half-heartedly asking someone what they had done this time. I tried calling Gid again but not even a wheeze came out.

Then Gid was there and he was calling my name and brushing the ants from me and getting stung a few times himself. That's about when people started to realize something was wrong. An old woman came to my rescue. "The trough boy, get her to the trough." She shouted behind her, "Someone bring me some fresh onions! Now! Lolly get my bag and bring the Echinacea out of it."

I heard Lurna start to say something and the old woman answer sharply, "Oh for heaven's sake woman, she can't breathe, she must have the allergy to them."

I don't remember much for a while after that except struggling for air. At some point the woman told Gid, "I think the onion and the herbs stopped the worst of it but it may take her some time to draw a full breath. She needs to be watched to make sure she doesn't need another treatment."

A while after that I realized we were in the barn and Gid was fanning my face. He only stopped to throw something at the door and scream, "I said go away!" I think it was his boot, I can't be sure.

The next time I awoke it was still dark but my internal clock told me morning couldn't be far away. I shivered. Gid was instantly aware of it. "Shhh. I know it's a bit cool. You took a dunking in the trough and we had to strip you to find all of those little red demons; they were everywhere. Look at me Yulee, can you breathe?"

I nodded though my chest was sore like the time Aunt had stropped me there because she caught one of her men staring at me. "I'm … I'm fine," I croaked.

"You're not fine. But as soon as you're able to travel we're leaving."

I shook my head.

"Yes. They'll deliver the last of the supplies we bought before noonday. So long as it is no later we can be at the cabin before the sun sets."

I gave a shuddering whisper, "Your family …"

"Some family," he muttered in fury. "I bring you to meet them and they try and kill you."

I patted his arm because his hands seemed to roam all over me; not in pleasure but to comfort and get comfort. "They didn't know."

"I didn't know. If Miz Justine hadn't been here, hadn't figured out what was happening as quickly as she did …"

I patted his arm again and gladly leaned against him as my strength seemed to be waning. My voice only wanted to come in a whisper but I told him, "I've never been bit by so many. The regular ants don't bother me so much, it's only the red ants made during the Great War. Even up to four or five bites and all I get is a bad headache and sick to my stomach. I've …"

"… never been bit by so many. You said that. And you wouldn't have this time either if …" He shook. The look of fury in his eyes was frightening. "They hid under the table and drizzled honey on your shoe and then dumped a box of the things they had collected earlier in the day while we were at the market; this was no spur of the moment trick, they planned this."

I shivered and he pulled me closer. He asked, "How do you feel?"

"I can breathe."

"Thank God," he whispered into my hair. "Beyond that how do you feel?"

I couldn't lie. "Tired."

"Then sleep. I'll watch over you."


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

I woke to voices. "I don't care Jace. I've been warning you and Lurna both that their wildness was turning to meanness. I won't have them near her, not even to apologize. I don't trust 'em. She's been through enough, and not just last night."

"Tad and Ern said you got her from the slave cages."

"Where she came from is no one's business."

I tried to sit up and Gid was there in half a moment. "Easy," he said gently.

My voice would still barely go above a whisper because my chest still felt tight but I had to say, "Tell him Gid. It's no use lying. The truth always comes out at some point. Better to face it now than later. You … you can't be any more ashamed of it than I am."

"I am not ashamed of it Yulee. Don't think that."

"If you're not, I am. I know I didn't have any choice Gid … but it doesn't mean …" I stopped and sighed. "It happened. It doesn't do any good hiding from it. My aunt was a horrible woman. A horrible and unhappy woman who took out her disappointment in life on anyone within arm's reach. She barely grieved when her parents died and only cared to make sure that she and Mam got the exact same share of the estate right down to counting the grains in the corn barrel. She never even bothered pretending to grieve for my parents even though she and Mam were full sisters. She may not have caused my brother's death directly but she might as well have helped it to happen. The same for Old Annie. Annie had no business being put to work moving those rocks from the trail. That rattler was longer than she was tall and as mean as Aunt Giselle."

He brushed the hair out of my face since it took too much energy to lift my hand. "Pretty name for an ugly woman."

"Family name according to my grandmother who claimed to be descended from some kind of people who were on a trip far from home when the Great War started. From a country called France. It was across the Lantic."

"Everything is poison over there so they say."

"Poison was everywhere for a few years after the Great War but places are clearing up." I shook my head. "How did we get on a geography lesson?"

"Because you're still loopy and need to lay back down and rest."

"No, not until I know you'll tell him … tell him the truth. I'm ashamed enough of that part of it. I don't want anything more to be ashamed of, especially a lie."

"Shhhhh. You promise me to lay here and be quiet and … and I'll take Jace outside and tell him."

Quietly I told him, "I'm sorry your family has to know. I'd spare you that if I could. I just can't live a lie."

"Hush that talk or I'll climb up in this wagon and Jace can wait 'til Hell freezes."

"Don't split with your family Gid. One day you'll turn around and they won't be there anymore and then nothing …"

"Didn't I tell you to hush? Now lay down."

I was out of energy at that point and don't even remember obeying his words. I must have been closer to being carried off by the angels than I thought.

I finally woke for good but it wasn't because of noise, but because of quiet. I struggled up and then stopped when I realized that it was night once again and Gid was asleep beside me. Only we were no longer in the barn behind the block house but were parked in a much smaller barn. It was confusing enough that I must have gasped or made a sound because Gid jumped awake.

"Easy there."

"Gid? Did … did I miss something?"

He ran his hand down my back and I realized I still was unclothed. "I'd say so," Gid said sitting up and pulling me to lean against him.

"And … and I've lost my clothing."

He said, "Not lost. It's just put away in the pack seeing as how you don't need 'em right now."

I didn't like being confused. It made it too hard to be in control of myself. And I felt doubly vulnerable in the state of undress I was in. "I … I want them."

"Your clothes?"

"Yes."

"Later."

Near begging I asked, "Please."

"Now don't do that," he told me while he wrapped an unfamiliar blanket around me. "There's nothing to be afraid of. No one will see you but me. Well, Rook might take a peek but I don't think you'd begrudge him that."

"Gid … please!"

"Hush. I've already told you no. If you are dressed that means you are awake, and if that's the case then they are going to want to come and check on you and I'm not ready for that yet."

Nothing he said was making sense. "Where are we?"

"In Ned's barn."

I shook my head to clear it. "You … you said Ned's barn."

"Aye. And if you promise not to get upset I'll tell you why." I stilled and nodded my head. "Promise?" I nodded again. "Very well. Lurna and I have had a bit … a bit of a falling out you might say."

"Oh … oh no. Because of me."

"No, not really. You might be part of the last of it but it's been coming on since Father died, maybe even before then. When Father was alive he understood I was different from the rest of them. He had no trouble with it, encouraged it even on occasion. He was the one that set it up so that I would go to work with Uncle Fid every summer and harvest season. Lurna never understood it, didn't want to understand it, didn't like me going for so long outside the village wall; she didn't hatch me but in her eyes I was still one of her chicks. In fact. she thought she knew better for me though she never went against Father's wishes. Then he died and for a bit she was overwhelmed with grief and grieving and us older ones did what we could to make her lot easier. She was barely done birthing the last one and was in no condition to really take anything on. Problem was she wouldn't let go and let us do our jobs. She made everything harder than it had to be, and still does. She let the kids turn into unruly hellions thinking Father would have wanted them to have fun and be free. Father would have never put up with half the pranks they play at these days. Father loved fun and noise but he never tolerated meanness or the kind of mouths some of them now have. Jace and the others, they can tolerate it better than I can but even they have started to have trouble with some of them being too out of control and trouble with Lurna not letting them be controlled or pay consequences, she's even fussed at Ned a time or two but he just ignores her. I thought that thing with Vaniece was the worst of it so I decided I was done and would move to the farm full time. I told Lurna so but I suppose, just like always, she thought she could manage me and make me take the path she had set for me. Me actually doing what I said which was coming back with a woman of my own choosing and making real plans for moving was an unwelcome surprise for her, she thought I'd forget all about it. And when I didn't, when I didn't come all undone because she was so unhappy she took to her bed; and when that didn't work she pulled that stunt with the family. But the kids must have heard her say that you and I needed a lesson that put us back in our place or something like it, least that's what some of them said when asked where they would get the idea for what they did and why they did it.

I know you didn't want to see this happen but this … this separation is needed. I love my family Yulee, even Lurna despite what has come about, but I can't live with them any longer … at least not under the same roof. Jace and Tad and Ern … and even the uncles and some of the older girls understand. Heather has been out and said as much herself and that Jace even told her he knows he needs to take Vaniece in hand because she is picking up Lurna's bad habits … or at least the ones she didn't already have. They know I'm not cutting them off, but that I can't breathe here anymore and need some space; that the wall doesn't keep me safe, it pens me in."

"But that … that doesn't say why we're here."

"We're here because Ned offered me a place for the night when he witnessed how Lurna wouldn't leave me alone, how she kept trying to fight with me when all I wanted was some peace and a quiet place for you to recover. You don't ever do that again Yulee. I was turned inside out with worry."

"I'll try not to."

"Not try … don't. Period. You've fit into my plans so neatly that when I thought to lose you all I could see was blackness when I looked at tomorrow. I don't say that lightly. I don't know what is happening but that is the way it is."

I put my hand on his arm and this time it was him that shuddered. He whispered against my neck, "I need to hold you. I know you're not ready for anything else but I need to feel you here."

"I … I'm fine."

"No you're not. You could ha … oh … you mean?"

I nodded. "I'm fine. If you … mmm … if you need to hold me."

"Well, that's all I'm going to do … hold you I mean. I'm a man, not an animal. You just be sure and say something in case holding you is too much."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

"Gid, these aren't my clothes." The woman named Justine that had tended me when I'd first had the allergic reaction had come by since she was in the area playing midwife. She checked me over then pronounced me fit to live but to avoid too much excitement for another day or two.

Gid smiled and said, "Sure they are. Heather told me so." I just continued to look at him and he sighed. "They're yours. I didn't pay coin for them. They're Heather's, or were, and now she gifted them to you. She was once nearly as thin as you but the last two babes have turned her a bit … um … wider in places than she used to be. Her husband comes from a small family and the few females in it are even broader than she is. She wants the clothes to go to someone who'll get some use from them and appreciate the work she put into them."

Embarrassed but appreciative of the pretty clothes now that he'd explained I said, "I … yes … yes tell her I'm … I'm grateful."

"I'll leave a note for Ned to give to her as she is off to Yellow Rock for a few days to help her sister in law deal with the clean-up of a kitchen fire so we won't be seeing her before we leave." He insisted on helping me to tie a bodice that had a geometric pattern embroidered around the edges. When he was through "helping" he said, "There's a morning meal in that basket as well. It's early but Ned is already at the school." He sighed in aggravation. "There's been some confusion and I need to go collect some of the things we purchased from here and there. Justine said you could travel but she didn't want you around if there is going to be another fight and there's libel to be if I find out Lurna or any of the others had a hand in it."

"I'm sorry Gid."

"No reason for you to be sorry. But if you've an interest in it, Ned said you might like to come to the school and wait for me there. You're as fond of books as he is and there's also maps and other things in the school that you might enjoy looking at to pass the time."

So it was settled.

"Ned, thanks for giving me a safe place to stash Yulee."

I didn't say a word but Mr. Ned said, "You stash things Gideon, not people. I am more than happy to have Yulee as my guest while you conduct your business."

Gid did not contradict him but did grin. "Thank you either way Ned."

Gid left quickly and Ned escorted me into the building showing me around as he went. Then we stepped into the main classroom area. "The children will likely appear curious but they will behave or I will know why not." He hadn't bothered to keep his voice down and a lot of eyes that had been openly staring in my direction suddenly changed direction to look at the large boards on four sides of the room.

Each wall was devoted to a different academic level. The center of the large room contained a raised dais with a podium. The children sat on stools. Lessons they did facing their board but they could turn and face the podium for lectures.

"My dear, I must confess to an ulterior motive." I kept my face carefully blank while he continued. "Our conversation – what time there was for it – revealed you have an extensive knowledge of history and geography. Would you mind helping me with today's lesson?"

"Of … of course Sir, though I'm not sure what I can do to be of service."

He smiled. "Quite easily my dear, I would like you to give independent verification to what I have been trying to instill in the children. If they only hear it from me then they are by rights going to have some concerns about the veracity of facts. By hearing it from another person raised outside of the village I hope they will see that I'm not merely discussing theories but actual events and places."

I could see the logic to the exercise but I still hesitated, nevertheless I said, "I will do my best."

"Very good." Turning to the children he said, "Attend, and I want every eye and ear open."

The children responded quickly and suddenly I felt all their eyes boring into me. I did my best to ignore the sensation but it wasn't easy.

Ned said, "The children all know that we live on the continent that was once called North America. Are you agreed that it was once called that?"

"It is still called that by most though it sounds different in parts of the land. Some of the people from the far north call it amérique du nord and as many of you probably have heard from some of your neighbors in this land they call it América del Norte."

"Very good. And this continent was once broken down into three countries."

"Yes, Canada to our north, Mexico to our south, and the land we are on was called the United States of America or USA or just US for short. All three were ethnically and racially diverse but the US had the greatest diversity of races and cultures. That was one of the greatest strengths, and the greatest weakness, of the country and played a role in what happened during the Great War."

Ned nodded. "Yes, we have studied the various causes and actions during the Great War using original documents that have been salvaged from that time period. Both the school and community libraries have a very good collection that I highly recommend that you see when time permits. However, there is a time immediately following the Great War that isn't as well documented."

Gathering my thoughts and reviewing what I'd been taught I said, "It is called different things but the two most common terms that I know of for that era are the Dark Days or the Era of Confusion. The Great War was only the beginning of humanity's descent into the dark. The bombs and battles of the Great War destroyed much of the infrastructure of the leading countries of the world. There were assassinations that took out heads of state leaving chaos behind for those that had become dependent on social systems that had been in place to provide their housing, food, healers, and education. Unlike today where only the feeble and very young are helped by community and church charity, large numbers of people of all types demanded the government take care of them because they refused to be responsible for themselves and when they didn't get what they expected or wanted, they became like the raiders we have today and destroyed anything in their path. Many countries became like wagons careening madly down a mountain trail with no driver to try and check the horses' mad dash to the precipice. And just like that scenario, you had some countries that survived out of luck, some did go over the precipice, and some had brave men ride up and jump on to try and save what they could from the wagon by turning it in a new direction. You also had bad men who jumped into the wagon to toss off what they could steal, never meaning to save the wagon and horses at all."

Ned agreed by saying, "An apt analogy. What happened here in North America?"

I shrugged, "All of the above."

"How so?"

"The countries of North America, unlike many of those in places called Eastern and Western Europe which were on the other side of the large body of water called the Lantic Ocean, were large and covered a huge number of square miles. The diversity I mentioned before was also a factor though less so towards the south than in the US and Canada. The countries began to lose their … hmmm … their cohesiveness. They became more like territories loosely bound together by memory and tradition than one single country united under a ruling body called a government with the same ideals as the people under them. Problems arose however when these individual territories tried to continue living in the manner they had when they had been part of one large country. Not every territory had the same number and type of resources. Some territories had too many people, some had too few. Some territories could protect themselves better because they had better armies and tools to equip their armies with. They started to fight and squabble amongst themselves even while the Great War still raged around the world. The unity that once existed was gone. And without unity the people became even more vulnerable. Wars were being fought on two or three or more fronts at one time."

"And into this came who?"

Again I gathered my thoughts. This was important and it had been drilled into my head from the time I was old enough to hear a bedtime story. "History has come to call them the Brotherhood – definitely different from the Brothers and Sisters we have today – but in the beginning they were primarily people who's only uniting factor was religion. They came from many different countries with different ethnicities and different cultures. In ages long gone these same people had tried before to unite the world under their religion, only to call it uniting is a misnomer. It was either accept and convert – or die. In fact for most infractions they believed death was the only solution. They believed a theocracy was the only way to rule and their religious books the only law. Anything outside of their 'only' view was considered heresy and again death was the only remedy to restore order and balance."

Continuing I said, "These people were united behind someone claiming to be their savior. In the end the man was destroyed by his own people when they discovered he was a charlatan set up by one sect of their religion to put them in power above the other sects but by that time it didn't matter. They had established military and religious footholds in most of the countries around the world. They were on their way to fulfilling one of their prophecies."

I stopped remembering the stories of bloodshed and horror that had been gathered from that time period. Ned prompted, "But we don't live with such a system today."

"No," I said quietly but firmly. "Because of The Church."

"The Church?"

"Yes. The Brotherhood had assumed that people would simply submit or they would kill them and get them out of the way. However, even though they had a great many on their side, there was also a significant underground movement fighting against them. No matter what they did they could not completely eradicate the two religions which were their antithesis. In the US, and in fact in most of this part of the world, the primary belief system was a monotheism … we believed in one God and only one God … the Supreme Creator of All. There may have been many different ceremonies for honoring Him but at the pinnacle of each was always the overriding belief in Him and His Word. The Brotherhood despised this and those that believed in the One True God rather than in the Brotherhood's laws and prophets. They hated the light that The Church shined on the hypocrisy of the Brotherhood. The Brotherhood claimed to be a people of peace and yet almost every law, every religious text, was rife with violence. Definitions and practices and beliefs were not absolutes that applied to everyone but were flexible depending on the prophet that was speaking and their ultimate goal. Anything was allowable in the pursuit of world conquest and domination so long as it was being done against someone who wasn't one of the Brotherhood. Even within the Brotherhood there were elites and they would often fight each other. Their system was confusing; there were always exceptions to their laws as well, loopholes found for those with enough money, power, or influence."

"First people fell so far they were nearly destroyed. Then they reached a level where they weren't just miserable but recognized what was causing their misery and how it had come to have power over them. Then came repentance. It wasn't just about being sorry, it was a turning away from what caused their misery … turning from the dark to the light. The Church became the banner these repentant people gathered under. They were still persecuted but that only caused their Faith to become stronger. This infuriated the Brotherhood. And this is what brought about the fall of the Brotherhood."

"How so?" Ned asked.

The room was quiet and all the students were listening. "They underestimated the Faithful. The Brotherhood had become so corrupted by their own human desire for power and control, subjugation and sexual immorality that they couldn't seem to grasp why, no matter what they did, more and more people left the Brotherhood and turned to The Church. The more The Church was persecuted, the more people opened their eyes and turned towards the Light. They too would seek out how a people so viciously put upon could not only survive but begin to flourish. Battles began to be fought openly. The Brotherhood had overwhelming numbers, the odds should have favored them, yet time and time and time again The Church would win by miraculous means or intervention. It took years but eventually the Brotherhood was no more. Oh, there are still enclaves here and there, but they are small and keep to themselves because people have very long memories … at least for some things. For almost five decades the people of North America lived in relative peace. Everyone was focused on recovering, rebuilding, making the land fruitful again. The Great War and then the Brotherhood had laid waste to so much. Worldwide trade and communication was for all intents and purposes nonexistent although the rare contact was made and documented though today even that no longer exists. Death by disease was rampant. Starvation was a daily concern for everyone and the earth's weather patterns had been affected by weapons released during battles. Fresh water was difficult to come by. There was a lot of work to keep everyone busy, focused, and out of trouble."

"Why don't we still have a large Church network today? Why instead has the territorial militias and their outposts replaced the Church's protectorates?"

"Because we are human. That's no excuse, far from it, but it is a recognition of the state that we all live in. The Church, as a body and certain individuals within the body, grew arrogant. Some misused their privilege to accrue power they had no business having. Then the power was misused to hurt people. In some places it became as bad as it had been under the Brotherhood fifty and sixty years earlier. There was a backlash as people turned their back on The Church never realizing that it was men and not The Church that was turning their back on them. God had not forgotten, men had forgotten.

Then some salvagers broke into a building that should have been left buried and forgotten. In their greed and thirst for power they had opened Pandora's Box and many new ills were literally visited upon the world on the wind. We still live with many of those mutated plagues today. My father's entire village fell to one such plague. He was the only living soul – a babe of only a few weeks old – that still remained alive when missionaries from our village went through the area. He was taken to our community church and there he grew up."

Shaking my head. "It was that time of so many plagues and other illnesses that cemented many people's understanding that we had made a mockery of the chance we had been given. In retrospect those that still followed the church realized we had forged a golden calf, put it before the Lord our God. We'd been so close and we threw it all away. So now our world, and the people in it, is destined to walk in darkness for a while longer. For how long no one knows. When we children would ask the Brothers and Sisters of our Church we were told not to focus so much on how long, but to learn the lessons God put before us, to learn to appreciate what we were gifted with despite the condition of the world, and to let God decide how long we are to walk this path in the wilderness."

I fell silent thinking of lessons and wondering if I appreciated the chance that Gid's purchase of me offered. Ned allowed me to be contemplative. I guess it served his purpose to impress on the children our history. Then he asked, "What of the world today? You've seen a great deal more of it than even the elders of the Village of Riverside have and some of them are widely travelled. I understand you originally come from a place far to the east of the Peaks."


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen**

Pulled back to the present I nodded. "Yes, my community is … was … within a day's ride from a large river called the Mississippi. At one time it was much closer but during the Great War some of the bombs caused an earth shaker and the big river has since changed course several times eventually settling in a different pattern than it had before the war."

"And due to terrible circumstances you lost your parents and were placed into the care of other family and they migrated out of that area and that is how you've seen so much of this land."

To myself I thought that was a polite way of saying it that allowed me to retain some dignity.

"What was it like leaving your home and traveling to the Peaks?"

I doubted he meant emotionally so I recounted what I remember of the beginning of the trip and then said, "Ages ago the land between the Mississippi River and the Peaks used to be a large prairie land. There was nothing but tall grasses for as far as the eye could see but that was when the country of the US was young and people called pioneers travelled the land looking for a place to call a home of their own; similar to those today who seek a place where they can build a homestead or clan farm away from the corrupted lands and contaminated water. Back then there were so many of these pioneers that they started congregating together in places so that the land could not hold them all. Then cities were built in the prairie land to hold all the people. The prairie lands were cross fenced creating large farms and cattle herds to feed all of the people of the large cities. Long roads and highways called interstates were built to connect the cities and the cities became larger … and larger and larger. There were so many people living in these cities that some people had to live outside them in places called suburbs and even many of those became crowded with people and became cities all of their own. Most of us today cannot even imagine the number of people that used to live and work in these places in buildings made of metal and glass that stretched high into the sky. Most of these cities are ruins and have been for over several generations but in the East there are still people living in what remains of similar places, but they are dark and terrible areas full of disease and deformities and depravities. There are some missionaries that feel the call to go into such places but few return due to falling victim to those they would seek to help. What little light they shed is often swallowed by the blackness of the hearts of the people that live there."

Returning to the migration I said, "The land between the Mississippi and the Peaks has in great part returned to what it once was but in some places the land is still so damaged by the remains of the old-cities and from the bombs of the Great War that they are called Corrupted and if you wish to retain your place amongst the living and the sane you avoid them. I do not believe in ghosts and haunts but if such did exist, they would live in the Corrupteds."

I saw some of the children looking at each other the same way we had when the Brothers had told this history in our classes. It was like a ghost story that caused you to shiver deliciously. "Some of the roads from the time of the Great War and before still exist, even if it is just as hard-packed shadows on the earth. Salvagers used these roads for generations and they became the barter routes. These are the roads we traveled across the Plains on. Then we came to the Peaks."

"The Peaks are really a combination of mountain ranges that once had names that meant something to people. Today we lump them all together and call all of the ranges 'The Peaks.' I have travelled many roads through the Peaks and have seen evidence that there used to be many more roads and paths cut by the hands of man. The Great War and the Year of the Quakes that happened shortly afterwards during the Era of Confusion destroyed many of these man-made passages and not a few of the natural ones as well. I've seen what remains of the sea of ash that touches the western most foothills of the Peaks that was created when volcanoes joined the quakes. I haven't gone as far as the west coast of this land and have no desire to, though I've met and listened to traders that cover those difficult routes. Huge chunks of land fell into the Cific Ocean during the Year of the Quakes and the maps left over from before the Great War no longer reflect how the coastlines really lie today. It is a rough and rugged country full of desert and destruction the closer you get to the Cific these days, and some areas are uninhabitable by neither man nor beast. Salt water from the Cific encroaches far inland via the old underground aqueducts allowing only the hardiest of plants and trees to survive."

A bell started ringing and all of the children groaned. Ned smiled and reminded them, "It is time to go to your apprenticeships. Now children, don't dawdle or you will receive tallies."

After the children had filed out obediently although reluctantly and headed away, many of them stopping to ask if I would come back, Ned turned to me and said, "I know that you cannot stay but perhaps next time Gideon can bring himself to return to the Village you will grace our school with another lecture?"

"Oh Sir, I wasn't lecturing, merely answering your questions."

"Humility is a characteristic to be cultivated but do not let it blind you to the fact that you have a gift. I've rarely seen the children as rapt as they were listening to you."

I just blinked as Ned was not a man that I could contradict no matter my personal feelings, he reminded me too much of the Brothers that had taught me back in my school days, days that I remembered with fondness and perhaps treasured all the more for the fact they had been cut short.

I was happy to help clean the classroom and set it up for the next day and afterwards Ned showed me their library and map and document collection. This is where Gid found me a short while later. When I saw him I knew instinctively what he was going to ask. "Do you feel well enough to travel?"

"I'm not normally so weak as you witnessed me being. It was just the ants. I've slept the sick away so it will be as you say and as soon as you say."

"Good. And don't look all closed like that," when he realized I had read his mood. "The ones that count know my reasons and accept my leaving even if they don't understand. Those that don't, or those that refuse to, well … it will just have to be that way. Goodbyes have been said and Tad may be coming a bit sooner than summer if he can get away. His father's cousin is a trader and has sent word that he will be traveling through in the spring. Tad may ride with him a while and see what comes of it."

"Lurna …"

"… will have to learn to accept what she can't change."

Ned stepped forward and said, "I will miss you … and your Yulee though we've only just met … but some are meant to stay and some are meant to go. It isn't like you are traveling to one of the coasts. You aren't even going to be a full day's ride away. I'll speak with Lurna and try and bring her around."

"I will be grateful if you can. Verna said the same thing. I don't want to hurt Lurna, she's been a mother to me. I just can't do this her way any longer."

"Then go and may God watch over you and bless you in this life you've chosen."

It wasn't quite mid-day when we headed off. I kept watching to see if Gid was covering up his sorrow but reality was that the closer to the gate we rode, the lighter the day seemed to ride on his shoulders. And once we were outside the gate and heading away from the communities and towards the foothills he actually stopped to take a deep breath and smiled.

"We're free Yulee," he said grinning at me.

"Hmm."

Looking at me closely he said, "I've come to know that sound. It means there are words behind your lips you are keeping there."

"I …"

"Is it you prefer the village?" he asked cautiously. "You seem to have enjoyed spending time at the school with Ned."

I shook my head.

"Then what is it?"

Are a moment to gird my courage I asked, "Are … are you sure that there wasn't something I could have done to make this better? I … I …"

"Back to the Lurna business are we? Look, it is what it is. I'm sorry it came to this but I'm a man. I have the right to have some say over my own future. On top of that, being hemmed in by the village and the people in it never has brought me any pleasure. Yes, living outside the wall has some dangers to it. There's wild animals, bandits and raiders, we'll be on our own if there's some problem or other, and we won't just be able to run to the shops when there's something missing or something broken. To me the risks are still better than the alternative. I need my space and the chance for a little privacy now and again; or at least privacy from prying little eyes forever rudely in my business. The parting was inevitable."

"Hmm."

"Now look here Yulee¸ this isn't the Darks. I'm not out to gather a harem of women, lead a cult, or be a war lord. I don't want to travel all over salvaging or bartering. Nor am I an archaeologist or a philosopher that is drawn to digging into all of the old-cities and outlying areas of the spoiled zones looking for old tech or other scraps of by gone days to examine and ponder over. I don't want to move to the east where they are building warehouses where they can produce goods on a grand scale. I just want my piece of ground and peace to live on it my way."

After some consideration I said, "That sounds like something other than family issues."

"That's what I've been trying to tell you. Yes, Lurna is a painful thorn in my side at times but she isn't the only thing I need to be free of. The village is just too full, too congested. There are just too many rules to follow all the time. I understand the need for rules when you've got that many people living in that small a space but there seems to be as many rules as people lately and they are starting to run at cross purposes to one another. I want to live free Yulee, or at least give it a good try."

"Then it shall be as you say."

"Good," he said and for a moment we both watched the careful plodding of the oxen that pulled the wagon. Then Gid told me, "Grab that basket under your feet. Apparently you managed to impress Lolly – she's one of the older girls and trust me, she's hard to impress. She fixed us a basket lunch and sent along a few things that you might need in another basket that is back in the wagon. She got the idea after listening to Sabrina ring a peel over Lurna's head about how her step daughter had nearly the same trick played on her last Founding Day and how the boys had promised not to do something like that again. Sabrina has been complaining of the boys longer than any of us and she's threatened to kidnap them and send them to her husband who is a logger. She said he'd work the boys so hard they'd have no time for mischief unless they wanted to end up dead. Lurna is upset because she knows that Sabrina will do it too, and damn the consequences, rather than see the boys completely ruined. She values Father's memory too much to see any of his offspring go to rack and ruin. She also got into it with Vaniece and told her that she wasn't being a proper wife to Jace and that she'd better get over her airs and graces and get to work before Jace grew tired of her and set her aside."

"Hmmmm."

He nodded, "Yeah, and there's a chest of cloth buried in the wagon someplace. Sabrina and Heather both stormed the family coffers and picked some yardage and some thread they said you'll find useful."

I felt somewhat overwhelmed so kept quiet so as not to deter Gid's high spirits. As we entered the forest I heard a strange sound and realized it was coming from the back under the tarp. I twisted around to look but the tarp was securely tied down. Gid snickered, "You've taken forever to notice."

"Hmmm."

"Aren't you the least curious?"

"Curiosity killed the cat."

"Well, you're no cat you're my woman. So do you wish to know what you hear or not?"

"Yes please."

"Presents."

Having no expectations of that on top of all the other that Gid had already spoken of I said, "Ex … excuse me?"

He snickered again. "I learned today that not all of the family feels as Lurna does and most of them decided if I was going to do this crazy thing they'd at least send me on my way well provisioned. I thought it would be a year or two before I could afford it, but apparently they believe that with a woman of my own I may make it after all."

Since that told me no more than I had known before I waited. He snickered again and said, "We have chickens, geese, ducks, and quail to keep us in eggs until cold weather sets in. And that snuffling noise you hear is the pup I was promised that was sired by Roof. If he manages to grow into his paws he'll be even bigger than his sire. It will be a job feeding him until he is big enough to catch his own. And there's a furball in there to help with any mice or vermin that want to enter the cabin."

"Furball?"

"Cat. Sabrina's house cat just had a litter a couple of months back and her whole line have been champion mousers and much sought after. And luckily the cat is dog tolerant because the pup wouldn't stop whining until the furball climbed into the cage with him. They've given each other tongue baths so I doubt there will be any fighting between them. Now pull out one of those pasties, I'm starving."


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen**

It was getting late in the day when we turned into the final stretch of very old road that would lead us back to Gid's cabin. I noticed his excitement but there seemed to be an element of humor to it as well. I kept a watch on him from the corner of my eye as in my experience the combination of the two in a boy or man usually spelled trouble of some type.

Then he stopped and I looked for the cabin. He said, "It's around this turn and down a short lane. Keep your eyes open as I want to know your opinion of it as soon as you see it."

My opinion? It took everything I had to keep my mouth from falling open and my seat from sliding out of the wagon. Something of my surprise must have shown on my face however as Gid howled in glee as if he had pulled off some huge prank. I turned to look at him and as calmly as my shock would allow I said, "You told me it was a cabin."

"And it is. It's made of logs isn't it?"

It was … nearly a forest of them if I were to count them all up. "This … this is not a cabin."

"Sure it is. Haven't you ever seen a log home before?" I turned and just continued to stare at him. For his part he grinned at his great joke then said, "Stay with the wagon while I check everything out. If there's no trouble we'll unload and I'll explain."

While he went to reconnoiterer I looked at the structure in front of me. The only thing that it and what I had assumed it to be had in common was that it was indeed made of logs and it was in a forest but that is where the similarities ended. As Gid had mentioned it was made up of more than one story, three to be precise with an attic as well if he was to be believed; and at this point I would not have put much passed him. There was a foundation level that evened the ground so that the first floor had something to sit on; it was neither basement nor cellar but some hybrid that was only partially visible from the exterior. The first floor was the main entrance and had what looked like large, metal studded doors as its primary opening. A second floor rose above the first. A sharp pitched roof capped off the structure with three chimneys rising from its surface.

Gid came back before I could truly grasp what I was looking at. "I've got the barn open. Let's take care of the animals and then see how much we can get unloaded before full dark. The rest will just have to wait until tomorrow."

He pulled the wagon around to the side and I realized that the "barn" was attached to the "cabin." He looked at me grinning. "Uncle Fid said that back in the old days this would have housed four automobiles. One day I will build a detached barn but for now you can't beat the security this offers and it is well sealed which means that so long as it is kept clean the animal smells don't reach into the cabin."

I shook my head. "This is not a cabin."

"You've already said that. But I say it is. That's what we've always called it."

"This … this is some kind of castle or … or …" Then I turned to him and realized with horror, "You're a rich man. How am I ever going to get you to keep me when you can have anyone you want?"

"e HEase up there Yulee," he said as he took the basket that I had been carrying and set it to the side. "I'm not rich … at least not in the way you mean. My mother's family is all died out in this area, so there was only me to inherit after Uncle Fid died, but when my uncle and mother were children there were a fair number of them, only few were interested in the cabin as they preferred the safety and social life to be found in the towns of the valley. How it came to be in the family was that Mother's family gathered here during the Great War. The story goes that a couple of brothers were the hired caretakers for the place before the bombs started falling. The cabin was originally built as a hunting lodge for wealthy men though it was also used for something called ski season which happened when there was snow on the ground. Sometimes it was leased to a single family and sometimes it was leased to more than one at a time. As I understand it from the old documents businesses would sometimes lease it for parties or for a thing named training events though what those were the papers don't say. The first and second floors could be leased separately. The foundation floor was a common area set for different uses. The interior has many spaces and rooms whose original purpose is of no use today. It has its drawbacks such as needing more fireplaces, especially on the second floor, or that the great room can be hard to heat during the coldest months. And the lighting down in the foundation level is a problem. The interior has seen a great many renovations over the years but still needs improvement. Getting this place sound enough for modern living is going to take some time and effort but I've chalked it out and it can be done a lot better than what it currently is."

"But … it is … Gid …" I shook my head. "Any woman that saw this would have done everything in their power to have you. They would do anything you want, be anything you want …"

Gid made a face and snorted which said a lot about his opinion of such women. "Don't want one that wants the cabin more than she wants me. Don't want one that don't appreciate freedom the way I do. I made a fool of myself once and nearly ruined my life going after such a flighty bird. Saw you, a quiet wren caged and treated cruelly. Knew you would appreciate freedom the same as I; the cabin is just the means to an end, a warm nest to share. Now enough of your senseless fears and worries; you're mine and I mean to have you and keep you. Help to get these animals down so they can go about their business so I can show you the inside. You might not feel so disposed to be overawed when you see the mess ahead of us."

Once the smaller animals were cared for and shut in secured areas for the night, Gid had the oxen back the wagon into one of the bays and then he unhitched them and put them in a bay of their own where they munched placidly on feed he had brought along for the purpose. Rook was a little miffed at the lack of attention but Gid told him not to act so spoiled, that he'd be worked enough in the coming days that he'd look back on this day of leisure with longing.

To me he said, "Follow me, I'll show you where the water for the cabin comes from."

I followed him a little way from the door yard up an incline to a large cistern. He told me sternly, "This stays covered at all times. It is very deep and there is almost no purchase on the sides to climb out with. You see the sluiceway that travels off that direction?" At my nod of obedience he said, "There's a stream and waterfall that are fed by a spring. The sluiceway can redirect the water in two directions; to fill this cistern or to an irrigation ditch used for the house garden. Pipes from the cistern carry the water into a sand filter and then from there into a reservoir in the kitchen area."

We entered the so-called cabin by the large, intimidating metal doors. He looked at me and grinned at my expression. "I know, they look like the village gates. They are nearly as sturdy too. You can't leave them open in a breeze without risking them shutting on someone and doing some serious damage to flesh and bone." He closed the doors and then lowered a heavy, wooden cross bar into slots on either side to brace against a direct attack on the door itself.

"I know it's dark but hold on and I'll open a couple of shutters as we go. I figure we are in for the night. The barn can be accessed through a door near the pantry. There are bars that can be thrown on the inside of the bay doors and I'll do that in a bit so we'll be secure on both ends. Watch your step until you get your bearings." After he had opened a shutter there was more light. "The cat and dog are already exploring. I can see their paw prints in all the dirt underfoot."

I looked down and around and indeed there was an unfortunate amount of filth … on the floor, on the walls, and on most of the flat surfaces that I could see. Gid saw me looking and said, "You see what I mean about it needing a woman's touch. Let us take our packs and these baskets to the master's bedroom and we'll start your tour there."

We walked into an area that was bigger than most of the houses in my village had been. He opened two of the shutters to air the collection of rooms out and to let light in. "Most of the glass still remains downstairs because the shutters stay closed most of the time though a few of the windows on the second floor are boarded over. It will take a few seasons but I'll get the measurements and take them to the glass blowers in the village and eventually everything will be weathered in once again. Until then that is what the woven mesh is for that I purchased at the market. It won't keep rain out but it will prevent bugs and birds from taking up residence with us inside when we have the shutters open for light. And this hay tick is fresh as of the beginning of summer. I filled it myself though it is a little lumpy. We can use the blanket and our cloaks again for tonight and tomorrow you can housekeep with the linens from the painted chest."

Through a door he showed me an indoor privy. "This bath has its own reservoir and a small stove to heat a bucket of water over so that you won't have to cart water in from the kitchen. And those two doors are cedar lined closets for clothing and linen storage." He stopped and pointed to an archway opposite the privy and told me, "Through that door over there is a sitting area with its own brazier; much easier to keep warm than the Great Room during a winter storm. We'll likely spend most of our time there or in our bed to conserve heat."

I turned to look at him and his eyes sent a shock through me. I was still unused to his heated gaze being focused on me and me alone. He stepped close and lifted my chin. "Has this day been too much? Sabrina sent a salve for the ant bites to help with the itching. I shall put it on you before we take our rest for the evening."

"You don't need to bother yourself when you must be more tired than I. I will do it."

"No. You are mine to take care of and it gives me pleasure to do so."

He seemed to be expecting some type of reply so I whispered, "It shall be as you say."

That seemed to satisfy him and he guided us back to the foyer where we entered and with the shutters open on a few more of the windows I looked up and realized that the ceiling was high overhead and open to the second floor. "Upstairs it is even worse so we will skip it until tomorrow. Uncle Fid used it for little else than a storage area. As I said I got rid of all of the rotted rugs and furniture but there is still enough up there that it needs to be seriously organized and gone through with a feminine hand. I know little about the textiles and whether they are reparable or need to be replaced. My mother's room is up there and still mostly untouched."

It sounded like Rook was coming down the stairs and we turned to find it was the pup making all of the noise. The cat was only slightly behind him and wasn't nearly as dignified as I expected a cat to be. They twined about our legs and I bent down and lifted the cat to keep her from being trodden upon by the pup. She seemed to like that and took refuge on my shoulder leaving the pup to grumble at the unfairness. We stepped into an area that was obviously the kitchen and I looked around trying to hide my dismay.

"Aye, it's disgusting. Uncle Fid and I did most of our cooking outside; we ate there as well. He was free to live as he wished but I've come to appreciate living free of fleas, bed bugs, and creepy crawlies trying to take up residence in my food. If you can set this to right you would make me happy."

I nodded. "Mam and Grandmother would already have buckets of soapy water heating and scrub brushes laid out. I mean no disrespect but even the Sisters, used to all manner of filth from the travelers, would be scandalized at the conditions in this food area."

Carefully dislodging the furball, Gid pulled me close. "You say nothing that I'm not already aware of. Anything will be an improvement. It is growing too dark to see but through there are the rooms that were once the laundry and some other storage area and it is now used as a pantry. The space is good sized but we'll still need to store much that we brought below stairs. Beyond the kitchen is the Great Room and dining space. I won't take down the shutters tonight but in the light you can see the long table that was used for family meals. Most of the matching chairs have broken or rotted over the years and now it is mainly benches that fit around it except for the chairs at either end and those need some repair, certainly the cushions are near about destroyed."

We walked past the pantry and he showed me the stairs that led both up and down. Up was to the second floor and down was to the foundation level. "Below stairs we will need a lantern even during the day. We'll be in and out of there enough tomorrow to satisfy any curiosity you might have. In general though, there is a wine cellar, what Uncle Fid called the trophy room – I got rid of most of the moth eaten, stuffed animals after he died – and an area the family used as the armory. Were there more light the large center area would look more like a tavern than anything else as there is a bar in front of the wine cellar, a few decrepit gaming tables covered over with all manner of household flotsam, and a room where they once showed the moving pictures that were so popular before the Great War."

"A theater."

"What?"

"Those rooms for the movies are called theaters." I looked at him cautiously and asked, "Have you ever seen a moving picture?"

"No."

"I have."

I'd startled him. "What?"

"Some of the Brothers of our church enjoyed tinkering with antique devices. Every once in a great while they actually would get a piece to work. What they called audio files were the easiest to get to work but some of the old picture files would work as well. Getting power to run the devices was an interesting academic exercise as well. Papa said it was a waste of time because it added little to make our lives better. The only exception to his opinion was when one of the Brothers built a battery that could power lights so that the surgeries at the hospital could be used day or night."

Gid nodded. "Uncle Fid used to speak of such things as well. There are books upstairs that tell how to build batteries but it is a long, involved process that takes patience I'm not sure I have … and for sure time I don't have to spare right now." He yawned. "And speaking of time, we have a long day tomorrow and I would like to see our bed before I am too tired to enjoy caring for you so let us leave the rest of this until another time."


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen**

"Be careful dipping that water out of the cistern."

"Yes Gid."

At the rate he was going with all of the "be careful" rules he was creating next he'd want me to tie a rope around my waist any time I went near the cover. It was strange to have someone that concerned about my well-being. I hope I am able to prove to him over time that I have no desire to be a burden to him.

The reason I was taking water from the cistern was because I was using so much to clean the cabin with. My primary focus today has been the kitchen and the sleeping quarters. I took a page from his story about him and his uncle cooking outside and lit a small cookfire in an old cooking pit on the patio behind the kitchen and that is where I fixed his breakfast. The chickens had given a couple of eggs and there was some yarrow not too far from the patio so I made a yarrow omelet by chopping some freshly picked yarrow, dicing some onion, and the fresh eggs. Gid stopped short when he saw it on his plate and then grinned broadly. He tried to feed me half but my stomach is still not used to large amounts of food and I put most of what he had portioned me back on his plate. He growled a bit but accepted the compromise.

While I went about my work Gid went about his which included repairing the fowl runs so that the birds could free range more and save feed. He also relieved the wagon of its load, piling its contents in the foyer until I could find a place for it.

The noonday meal could not come quickly enough for Gid who had been working hard. He was already a man that was whipcord lean with little fat to spare. Mam and the Sisters were always quick to point out that men and growing children were particularly vulnerable to poor nutrition. I knew I would need to make sure he got both protein and fat in sufficient quantities.

To that end I used my sling to bring down a few squirrels. I kept two for Gid and gave the rest of them to the pup and cat who carried them off together. To go with the fried squirrel I sautéed chickweed that I had found not too far from the cabin with a little butter that I had found in the food basket that Gid's sisters had sent with him. I also poured Gid and I tall glasses of milk from the cow's morning milking. When I called him to eat the noonday meal the look on his face was worth the effort that I put into setting a table.

I asked him, "I fed the pup and cat. Did I do wrong?"

With his mouth full of chickweed Gid shook his head. He swallowed and said, "No. But don't spoil them so that they won't hunt for themselves. Sabrina says her cats and dogs hunt together. I hope these two will take up the habit. And you need to eat more than what you have in that trencher."

"Gid …"

"Yulee …"

We continued to eat and then I asked what had been on my mind. "Gid, I promise not to run away. May I please look around to see what other plants in addition to yarrow and chickweed I have to work with?"

He gave me a fiery look. "I told you I don't intend to own you."

I looked down and nodded. "But you do. I want you to know that I won't take advantage of that."

He sighed. "You're stubborn." After another brief pause he added, "But I suppose if you weren't you wouldn't have survived with that evil heifer for an aunt." After a moment he said, "Yulee, look at me." I looked up. "You mentioned that your father taught you both the sling and the bow. I've seen you use the sling, can you still use the bow?"

"Some," I said before admitting "Aunt nearly beat me senseless the last time she caught me with one and she broke one of my fingers on the hand I use to draw with. That was right before … before Jubal got taken by the angels. It's why I was so long at my chores that night. If I had been faster I would have been there to protect him."

I sighed. The wound wasn't old but I was beyond crying about it. Sometimes things just hurt too bad to cry. But apparently Gid didn't know that as he was just there and holding me and though I went stiff in surprise at first the next moment I just relaxed and let him. It felt good to have someone care, or at least say they did. "I didn't mean to bring up a bad time Yulee." It felt strange to be tucked into his arms. I wasn't sure that I was supposed to want it much less enjoy it the way I was. His next words though changed the directions of my thought. "It would be a helpful thing if you can still use a bow. There are animals in this forest a sling just isn't good enough for and I can't stand over you with a gun all day."

I nodded. "I understand Gid. Do you have a bow? I can make one but it will take me time to find the right wood."

He pushed me away so he could look down into my face. "You can make bows?"

"Papa said that it was no good knowing how to shoot one if I didn't know how to take care of it first and I'd only truly appreciate taking care of a bow after I did all the work it took to make one. The community fletcher liked the first one I made so well that he had me help to make the simple bows that the boys were trained on. Papa said work was good for the soul and that idle hands are the devil's workshop."

"Well neither of us are likely to have idle hands until the snow lays deep on the ground. Come. We've finished the food so now is as good a time as any to show you the armory."

I had made trenchers out of the day-old bread that was also in the food basket so there were no dishes to clean, only the spit that I had cooked the squirrels with and the skillet I had used to sauté the chickweed. While I moved them away from the coals, Gid picked up a small coal oil lamp and lit it.

My cleaning had been confined to the first floor and I had barely gotten a glance at the second floor but that was enough to realize I had my work cut out for me. Walking down below stairs was even worse. Gid looked at my carefully neutral face and grinned sheepishly. "Still think any woman would have jumped at the chance to live here?"

"If she had any sense," I told him seriously. "Yes, there is a great deal of dirt and grime and it will be the work of a season to clean it up properly but I've seen no wood rot or killing mold. All of the walls and beams look sound. The doors and windows are hung and properly square and there are no weak places in the floors or stairs. I have seen no signs of damp which says the roof is as sound as the rest of the … er … cabin."

Gid smiled. "The fields are not the only things that I have been working on for the last couple of years. And Uncle Fid used to keep me hopping with repairs and upkeep as well. He never wanted a woman on a permanent basis but he said since it seemed I did he told me I had the responsibility of having a home to bring her to once I found her."

I caught myself reading something into the phrase "permanent basis" and quickly turned my attention to what was around me … or at least what I could see by lamp light. Without thinking first I asked, "It doesn't need to be this dark. Are there any large mirrors upstairs?"

"A few. Why?"

"The Brothers used them below stairs to expand the light of their lamps … oh. I … I … I didn't mean to criticize Gid." I knew he wouldn't hit me for being mouthy but I almost wished he would I felt so bad.

"Don't do that … don't cringe Yulee. It bothers me. I've already told you I'm not the kind to hit females."

"I know," I told him quietly. "That doesn't mean I should take advantage of your forgiving nature by having a thoughtless mouth. I truly didn't mean to be impudent."

I jumped when he put his arm around me. "You weren't being impudent, just the opposite and I thank you for it. You have any idea how tiring it is being the only one thinking? It's as bad as being the only one working. And it is more worrisome. In truth I'm a bit irritated but not at you. Someone should have thought to use mirrors down here long before now. They get used in the mines outside the valley all the time to save on candles. There are scones on the wall down here that can be used but that much candle power generates a lot of heat and makes the air smoky and noisome if the wax or oil isn't good quality."

I nodded but I reminded myself to be more careful of getting overly familiar with Gid. It wasn't very respectful on my part and if I knew nothing else of men – both the good ones and the bad – they lived to be respected. "You said you wished to show me your armory."

"Aye, I did. Come here. Do you use a short bow, a long, or a compound bow?"

"I can use all three but I am best with a flatbow."

He lifted the lamp and I saw a wall of pegboard that held many different bows, knives, short swords, and other hand to hand weapons. There were three flatbows and I picked the shortest of the three. I didn't see any strings so out of habit reached into the pocket purse on my waist and pulled out a bow string. "I hid the ones that Wash didn't find. I think they'll work with this one." I followed words with action and then pulled the string.

I let the string go back and shook my head. "I need practice and I need to limber my hand. I felt muscles pulling that I haven't felt since Papa first taught me, especially in my draw fingers."

"Can you hit what you're aiming at?"

"There's only one way to see."


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter Nineteen**

"Well, for no practice that was much better than I expected. You must be quite good when you have the time to limber."

I shrugged. "Papa was a Guard. He could have asked that the church provide our meat but he said if one of us was capable the meat that the Brothers brought in should go to feed those that couldn't hunt for themselves. I had no brothers or male cousins so I helped Papa see to our family and that included my grandmother after my grandfather flew away with the angels."

"No one said anything? We have women in the village that hunt, some that even enjoy hunting, but most prefer to leave it to the men. There are a few females that look down on the ones that hunt."

"The Sisters learned to tolerate it when they found that I always took the extra that I brought in to the church kitchen. I did the same with fish I caught. Papa said being generous was no skin off our nose and prevented complaints."

Gid chuckled. "Well, you'll hear no complaints from me. I'm more than willing to share that duty. There is work enough for us both to get ready for winter. And seeing you shoot also means that I feel better about you roaming around. I would ask that until I can take you further afield and show you the landmarks that you stay within sight of the cabin."

I told him, "It will be as you say."

"Very good."

I gathered the arrows from the target I had used, put them in the quiver I slung over my shoulder, and then took a basket and went into the woods surrounding the cabin to look and see what I could find. Immediately I spotted a veritable Eden of edible plants. The trees alone could sustain a tribe of people if managed carefully.

There were spruce trees dotting the landscape. The Brothers made a kind of unfermented beer that was a treat for Sabbath meals. When I was a small child I liked it better than candy. As I grew and Old Annie gave me lessons I learned that spruce beer helps to prevent scurvy, a great problem in some communities. In the spring time the inner bark of the spruce tree can be collected, dried, and then ground into meal for extending other grain flours.

Then there were the fir trees. The cones from the fir tree can be ground into a fine powder and mixed with lard and then cooled until it hardened. The Sisters would serve this at special meals when we had important guests or were ordaining missionaries to go out into the field. It was considered a delicacy that helped to aid in digestion with the unusually large meals and rich food served at banquets. The inner bark of the balsam fir was just as useful as the same from the spruce tree. It was gathered, dried, and ground to extend flour and meal supplies.

Douglas firs hid another treat. On hot, sunny days we children were allowed to collect and eat the white crystals of sugar that would appear on the needle tips. In our area it happened so rarely that we were given special breaks from school or chores to take advantage of the event. The needles of the Douglas fir can be used as a tea or morning brew though Papa preferred grain and seed based brew.

I spotted a grove of hemlocks and it reminded me that Wash's head barkeep was partial to an odd meal that his woman had taught me to fix while she was down from birthing a babe. You scrape the inner bark of the trunk and then bake or steam it. When it came out and while it was still warm and soft, it would get pressed into cakes. The man ate this with fish oil most of the time but cranberries when he could get them from the northwest tribes. I tasted it and it filled the belly but glad I was he was so jealous of the mix that letting a female have any was a rare occurrence. Hemlock tea is nice when you can use fresh needles and the small branch tips can be used like a vegetable if they are cooked with meat.

When I stood on a boulder that was likely thrown there during the Dark Days when the volcanoes threw things from the sky for great distances since there was no similar type rock anywhere near to it I could see off in the distance at a lower elevation a forest of pines. I knew from their size that they were either redwood or ponderosa and by the coloring of their bark I was fairly certain they were ponderosa. The cones of the ponderosa give oil-rich seeds that are edible. The seeds can be ground into meal, and we've been so short of flour at times that I've done it, but most folks dislike the extra work and simply eat the seeds whole.

As lovely as the ponderosa's looked they brought to mind why Wash always made sure to travel through a forest of them when he could. It was not a good memory. The bar girls made a tea from chopped needles and drank it when they thought they might be with babe so that they'd lose it. The truth of the matter is that they doctored themselves with it about once a month just to be sure. Wash forbid it being more than once a month when he lost a girl 'cause she poisoned herself by drinking too much of the pine tea. With the ponderosa that is an easy thing to do. Even cows will abort their calves if they eat ponderosa or so the cattle drivers claimed.

Closer to the trail I was walking around the homesite I found birch trees. Just like with many other trees, the sweet inner bark could be ground into a powder to make a type of bread. But with the birch you could also add it to soups or stews as a kind of filler. The young leaves and catkins of the tree can be added for flavoring to salads, cooked vegetables, and meat dishes. The most common use of the tree however was to collect the sap during the early spring when it warmed during the day but still froze at night, and then boil that to make a syrup. We did the same when I was a child but we used maple trees. Birch syrup and maple syrup taste similar yet different and both are sweet. The few times I had seen birch syrup being made it seemed to take much more sap to make a syrup than what I remember of the maple. It was a pricey item in the Buy 'n Sells and one Aunt Giselle refused to spend her coins on because she said it was rich man's fare and generally only traded at places we couldn't gain admittance to.

On a piece of escarpment in a different direction from the ponderosas I saw aspen trees. Even so far away I knew it was aspens from the white and silver color of the tree bark. The slum kids could strip a grove of aspens quicker than you would believe. They tear out the inner bark and eat it raw. And the older ones taught the younger to eat the leaf buds and young catkins as they would keep away the dreaded scurvy. I'd tried it myself once and could barely bring myself to swallow because of the bitter taste. Had I been starving I would have forced myself, but only if nothing else was available.

As I walked the land, staying in sight of the cabin, I tried to put to memory all I was seeing. I knew that Gid wanted me to be a thinking slave; he'd all but said so when we'd been below stairs, and I was determined not to disappoint him. Using the old names of the months rather than just calling seasons, we were into July. The nights grew cool in the foothills and I know for many it was time to turn their hands to preparing for harvest time. My problem was that as a traveler rather than as a steady resident, I was unsure of what and when there was to harvest in the area that the cabin was in. As far as I could remember it was not an area that Wash had ever followed the caravans into.

I recognized many plants but I did not know how long I would have access to the fresh greens and I was not sure what in this area could be set aside for the cold months. Just then I spotted fresh mulie scat. The hooves showed several of good size and the greenery in the tracks was trying to spring back up so I knew they could not be far off as I hadn't heard anything running in the brush that surrounded me on all sides. I began to carefully track what would give us good meat and was practically on top of them before I expected to be. Their white rumps faced me and the wind was just right; they had no idea I had them in my sight.

Then it happened. Less than half a breath after I released my arrow a powerful beast lept from the tree above the deer.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter Twenty**

I am not a screamer. Screaming rarely does any good and often just makes a situation worse. But I had drawn breath and was ready to shriek before my commonsense stopped me. The cat had already broken the neck of one mulie and was eyeing the deer that I had brought down with my arrow.

It was sniffing the air and I saw its lip rise in a snarl as it turned in my direction. I was slowly trying to fit another arrow but then I was pushed to the ground and there was a blast. I came up prepared to fight with the stone knife in my hand I had been using to cut plants to put into my basket.

Seeing who I faced I dropped the knife in shock and ducked. "Easy Yulee. Did the cat …?"

I whispered, "Please Gid. I'm sorry. I … I … the knife … I didn't know it was you … I swear it …"

Gid sighed resignedly, "All I care about is whether the cat hurt you. But you'd do me fair amount of good if you could bring yourself to stop that dem cringing."

I peeked at the strange man in front of me who still stood with his gun aimed at the big cat. I shook my head and told him, "You're like my father. It'll take some getting used to. I never thought to meet another like him. I'll … I'll try and do as you bid me."

"Good. Now for the last time …"

"That cat never came near me. It was thinking about it but you never gave it a chance to act."

"Stay here," he ordered roughly before going close to make sure the big cat was truly dead. "Jaguar. Haven't had one in this area in years. They usually stay well to the south of us."

"I've never seen a spotted cat this size before. You say it is called a jug where?"

"A jag-u-ar … jaguar. According to Uncle Fid you used to only see this kind of big cat down in Mexi territory. Then during the Dark Days and all that came after, many animals moved their territories fighting to survive the changes the war wrought, same as man was fighting to survive. Some moved in here but my great grandfather and his brothers hunted them until they were gone. Uncle Fid said there were a couple around when I was a boy but I never saw them. Something must've happened to push 'em back up this way."

I nodded. "I … well …"

"Spit it out," Gid said as he took a rope off his belt and started to string the jaguar and the two deer into a tree.

"The drought. Maybe its prey moved out of where it used to live and it was looking for new hunting grounds."

Not the least affronted Gid nodded, "Likely as anything else and likelier than most." He cut the animals so that the blood could drain and finally turned and came over to me and wrapped me in his arms.

Surprised I looked up into his face. "Did … did I do wrong by trying to take the deer?"

"No." He sighed and set me from him. "It was a good shot. I'd been tracking you, coming to ask if you wanted a walk to the stream when I noticed you'd started to track something yourself. You step awful light and I lost you for a moment or I would have been here sooner." He shook his head. "I saw you fight back the scream and then saw what had scared you. That arrow might have worked on a mountain lion but it wouldn't have on that jaguar." He shook his head again. "You sure you're ok?"

I looked at him in surprise. "Why shouldn't I be? You're here."

I hadn't meant anything beyond what I was thinking but he gave me a deep look and then backed me against a tree. "Gid?"

All he did was grunt as he started putting his hands where he was want to put them whether it was daytime or dark. He wasn't rough but I was shaking by the time he stopped. He muttered, "Wish there was time for more but I need to get this meat back to the cabin. Will you wait here while I go back and get Rook?" I nodded, unable to look at him. He continued, "We'll be the rest of the day dealing with the two deer and skinning the cat."

"You … you don't eat the … the jaguars?" I asked, thinking back on some of the cats that Wash had made me cook.

"Not this one. It has a festering sour on a rear leg. You probably didn't see it … I didn't until I strung it up. That's why I hung it on a different branch than the deer. The fur is still good though and it will bring a good price in a trade unless I make it into a coat for you."

"Oh … oh there's no need," I started to say, worried that I was making work for him.

He swooped in and stole my breath with another of the strange kisses that he seemed to enjoy giving and then said, "There's every need but you'd stand out and I don't wish to see some hunter go after you all for the sake of my vanity. We'll get you a warm cloak but that spotted fur might …"

"If it'll bring more in a trade then use it for that."

He grunted but would only say, "We'll see." And with that he was off to get Rook. I knew he wouldn't want me wandering far so I looked to see what else I could see to keep my mind from dwelling on the three carcasses swaying slightly as they hung well above the ground.

I was practically on top of them before I figured out what I was seeing … currants. They were just beginning to ripen and were the black kind and I was so excited to find them. Aunt Giselle had bought and sold dried currants by the pound when she could get them as they were favorites of both cooks and brewers; I'd just never seen very many fresh ones. Usually all I handled were dried currants.

I had a cloth full of the dark berries by the time Gid came back. He whistled for me and I startled Rook by appearing almost beneath his nose. "There you are," Gid said gruffly. "Thought you'd gone off by yourself."

I shook my head and told him quietly, "I'd not misbehave for you like that Gid."

"No, suppose not. And don't look so downcast. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings over it."

"You didn't. I just don't want to do anything to make you think I'd do you that way."

He sighed. "We'll work on it; you not being so skittish and always worrying you'll make me mad and I'll try and learn I don't have to watch you every second. Why don't you go back to your berrying and let me get to work."

"Don't you want me to do something useful?"

"You're already doing something useful," he said with a wink. "I'm partial to sweets like them oat cakes you made on the trail."

I was never sure what to make of Gid when he was like this. "I mean the mulies. Don't you want me to do something useful with the mulies."

He'd already gone to work on the first deer and said, "You'll help at the cabin. I'll whistle when I'm ready to head back."

I knew I only had about thirty minutes so I continued picking currants but also noted the sound of water nearby. Hesitantly since I wasn't sure he would appreciate the interruption I asked, "Gid?"

"Hmm?"

"What water is that? The water that I can hear from here?"

"That's the stream. It's a little higher than normal but further down there are a couple of real quiet pools. Some of those further up as well. Uncle Fid and I would go fishing in those pools when there was time. Late in the fall there's a bit of water not too far where we can get what the locals call kokanee salmon."

Startled I spoke before thinking. "The water goes to the 'Cific?!"

I tried not to cringe but it was hard to break such an ingrained habit. Gid made no comment if he saw and instead asked me, "You know what kokanee is?"

"I … I know what salmon is. There's a people group that some call the Klamath. That's the name used for an ancient tribe of people but these Klamath take the name from a place that used to exist on the old west coast of the country. The Bards from that area say that the new Klamath descended from survivors from the years of the volcanoes and quakes. I've seen a few but their group is small and sickly because they lived too close to a corrupted place in the beginning and the sickness got into their blood and travels down to their children, when they have any. They are shunned for everything but their salmon trade."

"Why's that?"

Thinking back to what I had heard I answered, "Their children are born deformed about a quarter of the time. Those that live have a hard life and it makes them … different beyond what shows on the outside. They have no fear of death, even welcome it when it is their time. So because they have no fear they walk into the dangerous areas to fish for the best salmon and even take it from the giant grizzles. It makes people … envious and then angry that they are envious of such a corrupted people."

Ignoring the last part Gid asked me, "Grizzles? You mean grizzlies?"

I nodded. "Grizzles. Giant, mean tempered bears. I … I'll try and remember to call them by your word for them from now on."

"Hmm. Grizzles, grizzlies, doesn't matter so long as we understand each other. We get 'em around here a few times a year. I expect to have more trouble with 'em due to the livestock. But might be able to take advantage of that. One of those ol' bears will make a fine bed cover for winter … or a rug for a babe to roll about on."

I nearly dropped the basket I carried. "Gid?"

"Hmm?"

"Uh … never mind."

He stopped what he was doing and looked at me and I quickly got back to pulling currants but I couldn't hide my red face. Gid chuckled. "You might as well get used to the idea Yulee. If I'm half as fertile as my father we'll have this place full of sprats before I've even got my first gray hair … and sure my dad had a head full of gray and was still banging them out."

I could barely breathe for all the red in my face. I managed to whisper, "You'd … you'd want babes? From me?"

"From who else?"

He asked so casually and had returned to dressing the carcasses that I dared to stand up straight and look over at him. I had nothing to say. I only seemed to want to look at him. He glanced at me and saw me looking at him and smiled. My face felt odd again as it did on occasion with him. I reached up and my skin was cool to the touch but I realized my lips were smiling. Then I did have to tuck my face and look away. Gid just laughed a manly laugh and I had to bite my bottom lip to keep my composure.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter Twenty-One**

SPLASH!

"Gid!" I sputtered when I came up from under the water.

He just laughed. "Well, there's no sense in wasting the opportunity a tub full of hot water presents us with. We can wash each other's backs in a bit. First though …"

I had been wrapped in a drying sheet waiting my turn in the tub while my clothes soaked in another tub to get the blood out of them where it had soaked through the old leather apron I was wearing. With both of us working we managed to cut the two deer all into good strips for smoking and hang them in a sturdy stone shed built for the job. Gid was even bloodier than I since he did most of the butchering. I heated water for his bath and after he got in he'd claimed the water chilly. I had just poured in another bucket of warm water when without warning he'd snatched off the sheet I was wearing and pulled me into the tub with him. I was mortified but he wouldn't let me stay that way. In short order he had me distracted and we were in danger of dumping water on the floor.

After a bit I shivered despite the wash water still being warm. He pulled me closer if possible and it only made me shiver more. Playing with an errant curl that had escaped the twist I had put my braid in he said, "You'll get used to me Yulee. I'm just a man with appetites. Runs in the family on my father's side. Thought I was more like Uncle Fid but I'm learning that I just didn't have the right scope – or incentive," he said with a toothy grin at me. "To explore that part of myself. Now I've got you … well … " Then he left me shivering some more and by the time he'd finished the water had grown cold and we were both shivering for real.

In the night I woke up crying. "Are you sick Yulee? Did I hurt you?"

I shook my head and wiped at the wet tracks on my face mystified at their presence. "I haven't shed a tear since the plague. Not even when …"

I shook my head and tried to apologize and tell him to go back to sleep. "We both will but there's a story here and I'll have it out of you. Now."

When Gid took that tone I knew it would be easier on us both if I simply told it. "I didn't even cry when the angels took Jubal or Old Annie. Aunt Giselle said if I did that she'd simply leave their bodies for the carrion eaters. I know they weren't in those shells but I … I …"

Angrily Gid snapped, "More I hear about that evil heifer …" He pulled me to him and laid us both down. "You don't have anything to fear from her anymore. Maybe your dreams know that even if your waking self can't believe it yet and they are letting you do what you missed out on. Even if that's not it though, don't keep it locked away from me. If you really think God sent me to rescue you, don't you think he means for me to do a proper job of it?" I wasn't sure how to respond to that but I didn't need to as he was turning me so that we fit together like spoons in the utensil box and soon enough we were both asleep once again.

I was embarrassed in the morning to wake up only to find him easing back into bed. "Oh! Gid! I swear I'll have your morning meal …"

"Already grabbed a mug of broth off them beans you set to cook last night on the coals in the fireplace. Milk has been strained and put in the pantry and when we get up I want to see you drink a goodly bit of that before you take the cream out of it." He startled a sharp breath from me when he ran his hands over me and said, "I can fill the sharp edges of your bones." Then he moved his hands again then growled in my ear, "I want to see you soft and round like these bits here."

I just held on and let him have his way. In truth it brought me comfort to know he found pleasure in me and wanted … something though I wasn't sure what to name it. But that comfort in his pleasuring brought me guilt. I was glad that Gid hadn't asked me what my dream had been about during the night. I didn't know how to lie to him and didn't want to learn how.

At some point I'd been gliding in the air. It's the kind of feeling that tells you it's just a dream but the telling isn't enough to wake you up so you set out to enjoy the sensation expecting just to fall back to sleep all the way. But I didn't and the dream took over and then I started to wonder if it was really just a plain dream or one of those waking ones I sometimes had that told me things I didn't always want to know.

I realized I was gliding because a great black bird had me. I could feel his talons digging into my shoulders but all I could do was hang there limply because any time I moved he or his mate would peck me. Each peck grew harder and I knew if I wasn't still they'd use their beaks to take my eyes and tongue the way Aunt Giselle had always threatened. Then we were plummeting to the ground and the giant bird released me and I fell the rest of the way, rolled, and fetched up against a pitted and scarred stone monolith of some unknown purpose left over from before the Dark Days.

I was cut up pretty bad and could barely sit up. When I finally managed it I saw shadows all around me. When I looked up and saw what the shadows belonged to I nearly screamed. It was the Sisters … all those that had died. Their faces were pock marked and oozing just like they had been before they were carted off to the dying room where from what I heard it became even worse. Each Sister had a stone and on each stone was written an evil thought I'd had for the murdering I'd had in my heart. They took those stones and threw them at my feet. "Guardsdaughter, why do you betray your upbringing. Did we not teach you better than this?"

"God took me away from those," I cried. "He sent Gid to save me."

"Not those," they said pointing to the stones. "These." Then they hefted stone tablets that somehow showed scenes of Gid and I.

I shook my head. "It wasn't like that! Those pictures are wrong!"

"Are you saying you have not engaged in temptations of the flesh?!"

"No. I mean yes. But not like it shows in … not that … that debauchery! It wasn't like that! Gid means to keep me! He does! He even talks of babes!"

But it was like they didn't hear me. Then one of the Sisters - and for some strange reason I couldn't recognize her - grabbed me by the hair and forced me to watch as the pictures on the stones changed and grew worse and worse. And then they started showing pictures of Father and Mam all pocked and oozing and noisome and pointing at me saying it was my fault that they'd died. Pictures of me cutting Jubal out of Mam's body only instead of crying I was cackling like a mad woman. Pictures of Jubal staring sightlessly while rain fell into his unblinking eyes and … stuff … oozed from the back of his head yet I could hear his baby voice screaming from someplace that I should have been there to stop it from happening. Pictures of Old Annie wreathing in pain as the poison took her, swelled her up, turned her black until she gasped for each breath, and with each breath she told me she'd always known I'd be the death of the family, that I'd been born with a caul over my face as an evil omen. Pictures of Aunt Giselle refusing to give me my pack so that I could not even ease Old Annie's passing or hurry it up. Pictures of me cutting myself because if I didn't I was going to cut Aunt Giselle's throat and the blood that welled up from the cuts was like black ichor, poisonous to all it touched. All the while the pictures played across the tablets the Sisters called me horrible, vile names.

That's when Gid woke me. I know the difference between a nightmare and a waking dream and what I had was a nightmare … but it was different from a regular nightmare. It was like something was attacking me. And Gid had rescued me again by waking me up when I couldn't wake myself up.

But for all I was learning to trust him that was a dream that I could not share … not with him, not with anyone. To voice it was to give it more power. So I took it to God and he eased me so that I could sleep. But in the light of day and with Gid … well doing as Gid pleased … I caught myself turning the dream over and thinking on it once again.

Gid looked at me afterwards and asked, "Yulee, why does your mind go so far away? Do you … do you dislike my touch?"

He was running his hands gently over places that liked it. "No," I told him honestly.

"If you don't dislike it … then … is it … does it not … pleasure you?"

I shivered. "You ask so many questions."

"And I like to have the ones I ask answered."

There was a bit of steel running through those words and I shivered again. "Gid may I ask you … may I ask you …"

"Spit it out woman. And none of that cringing either."

I sighed. "I'm confused Gid. I … I know you bought me because you needed a woman." I felt him start to stiffen up. "Please Gid, let me get this all out before I … before I fall to cowardliness."

"Hmmm."

Drawing a deep breath I tried to say it all. "I know you bought me with a purpose. I thought I … I thought I understood it. I … thought I could live and be grateful for your rescue. But you've … you've turned … I mean … you say things, things I never expected to hear for my own. You said you bought me but you don't mean to own me. You … you cared for me after the ants, when I couldn't breathe. You … you make me feel … oh Gid, you make me feel safe when I'd forgotten what that felt like. And then you bring me to this – your home only you say it is our home. And then yesterday, you spoke of babes as if … as if you really wanted them … wanted them with me; like it was silly for me to ask if you meant with me." I hugged myself and once again shivered even though the day had warmed and we were still under the covers. "I don't understand Gid. I … I want to understand … but I'm so afraid only I promised myself I wouldn't be. I figured it didn't matter who or what the man was that bought me; that I'd live and do his bidding and be grateful no matter what. And if you'd been … well … not like you are I could have gone right on with my gratefulness and not felt a bit of guilt for any of it because that would have been all it was. Only you are you and … and … and being grateful is hard to live with. 'Cause … oh Sisters forgive me … 'cause I want more. I want … I want to believe what you've been saying and not … and not be afraid anymore that I'm misunderstanding your words. I want to feel your pleasuring and not … not feel like … like … like I shouldn't feel what I do."

I was feeling as out of breath as I had after the ants had bitten me. I wanted to say more. I was desperate to understand and have him understand as well. "Please don't be mad Gid. I don't mean to be bad."

Rather than anger, rather than a tongue lashing for I did trust him not to hit, rather than any other thing he sat us both up and I had to grab the sheet but he took it from me. I was aghast. There we both sat, uncovered as babes.

"Now. There's nothing between us. Nothing to hide behind. So look at me Yulee. You've been treated so rough I knew we'd need to go over this road more than once. Same way you know I need to know you'll mind me and respect me and you set out to prove it can be so. But this thing … your fear … I'm going to put a period on it. Dig a grave and shove it in and cover it over then set a great big stone over it. I've already told you I won't share you. I've already told you that you're mine. You believe those things?"

I quickly nodded my head.

"Good. But I think your problem is that you don't understand what I mean when I say you're mine. First off I'll kill any man that thinks I'll share you … or tries to take you from me. It's just that simple. Second, Creator willing I mean to put a babe in you. I've already grown partial to the idea of seeing you with a big belly and knowing I made it happen. I remember my father saying much the same but I never understood it 'til now. But it doesn't have to be right this day or even this season. Fact is I don't mind it being just the two of us here in the beginning. Plus you need to put some roundness back into your body so that carrying a babe in your belly isn't hurtful. If it is like it was for my father, once I start planting seeds you'll be harvesting babes every year from here on out til your seasons are done."

I could feel the heat come over my whole body. For a man he was awful free with his talk of babies and birthing and the things of a woman's body. "Lastly, I'm gonna do my best to make sure we're together to watch our children have children. I know that doesn't always happen but I mean to work on it like I believe it will. I've a feeling that we've got a good life ahead of us Yulee. I'm not saying there won't be trying times but … you've already eased me woman. I sleep better. I'm eating better. I'm not forever having to battle for a jot of brew or a scrap of food, you fill my plate and mug first as if it is just the way things should be. You make my plans feel possible … things I've always wanted. You aren't a nag. You fell in with my plans to live outside the wall like it was a natural thing to want rather than a perverted one. That most of all is what tells me you're the woman for me. We fit Yulee. I mean to see that we stay fit to each other and no others. So if you're afraid of feeling 'cause you think I'm gonna to send you off or throw you over then you're loopy. It was too providential me finding you, I ain't gonna risk having to go through all of that again and likely wind up with something less than I got in my hands right now."

Maybe his words weren't Shakespearean but they were words I could understand and believe. I launched myself into his arms with such enthusiasm that I nearly knocked us out of the bed and onto the floor. "Whoa woman!" he laughed in surprise. But he was not averse to using my enthusiasm for something he obviously enjoyed. It was midafternoon before we finally quit the bed and got dressed. There was only enough time to take care of necessary chores and see to the animals. We were both starving by the time I put the evening meal on the table and it was soon consumed. Then after a few last things were taken care of, including tiring the pup and furball out with some play so they would leave us be, we were back to bed; but it wasn't the desperate and hectic time it had been during the day. As the sun set and coolness enveloped the cabin we simply held each other cementing a mutual bond with a common goal.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

The remaining days of July were full of work for both of us. For Gid it was going over the cords of wood to check for bugs and rot to separate out what to burn outside and what could be brought inside. The skins of several large rattlers now adorn the side of the house and he says they will make good trade because of their size. He has caught a few smaller ones as well and said that I might keep those for trimming on the new boots I am :; To add to the wood pile he has found several trees that came down in a storm a season before and cut them into manageable bits for the oxen to drag back to the homesite. During breaks from wood gathering and caring for the small plots of amaranth and buckwheat he planted, he started the task of cleaning out the irrigation troughs and making repairs that he'd been putting off so that next season we could grow a garden rather than be completely reliant on forest forage. He came back almost every day with something for the stew pot and at night he would work on the resulting hides and furs.

For me the work focused on food and cleaning but primarily on food as the indoor cleaning could wait for times that it was too rough or cold to be outdoors. Being dragged around the barter roads in the caravan did not leave much opportunity for food storage and it took dredging memories from the ways of our village for me to set my feet on the most efficient path. In the caravan we bought, we sold. Spring, Summer, and Fall we ate and sometimes well. Winter was lean and sometimes we came close to starving no matter my efforts. Cleanliness was a haphazard experiment at best that depended on where we were and who the customers we were serving. Each stop had its own requirements and woe to any that disregarded Wash and Aunt Giselle's dictates. Here at the cabin it was suddenly my responsibility to see that we ate … and preferably ate well. But it was also my responsibility to see that we didn't starve come the Winter and early Spring. I had no one to tell me what to do and when. I had no one to really help me with the planning beyond Gid and he had enough work of his own. I felt by turns fearful, humble … and strong and powerful. My walk with the Creator has grown because now instead of bemoaning my fate and asking for stuff for me, I tell him how thankful I am and when I ask for things it is more in the line of wisdom so that I can be the woman that Gid needs me to be. I'm also happy that God has seen fit to reveal more and more of the bounty He has placed in this protected area; I've yet to spend a morning that is unproductive or come home barehanded.

Exploring within sight of the cabin was the norm but as Gid grew more confident in my abilities to look out for myself – or trust that God would bring me back safely to his care without getting into scrapes – he accepted that I needed to go further afield to take advantage of what God had blessed the land with but still he set a boundary and said I was not to cross it. He showed me the way to the stream and I discovered on my own the quiet side pools that were to be found. In these quiet pools of water I was happy to find what locals called arrowhead though some called it by other names like duck potato or marsh potato. As it was so plentiful it became our principle starch. You gather the tubers by wading in and digging them out of the mud with your toes. Once the tubers escape the tangle of their roots they float to the surface making them easier to harvest. Gid caught me more than once with my skirts bunched around my waist and that seemed to please him.

Food gathering was for the morning, as soon as I had fixed Gid a hearty morning meal. I usually packed him a midday munch at the same time. Then we'd go our own way … him to his man work and me to my woman work. At mid-day I'd come back to the cabin with whatever I had gathered. Some would be for that day's meal but the rest I processed for saving for later. Sometimes Gid would be there and sometimes not. My afternoons were devoted to processing food and, what little spare time after that, to cleaning.

Our sleeping chamber I tackled first, then the kitchen and pantry though neither was as clean as Mam and the Sisters would have demanded. I spent twice as much time moving things so that I could clean as I spent on the actual cleaning. I was amazed at the number of glass jars and crocks and clay pots that filled every nook and cranny in the cabinets. Even more, it took my breath away to find real cast iron pots and skillets and the kind of kitchen tools I imagine you would only find in a rich man's home. There were wooden trenchers, and utensils for everyday but also clay fired dishes and metal utensils for days you wished to make a bit more special. When I did finally manage to empty every cabinet and drawer so that I could give an inventory to Gid I counted more crockery than even the church had had at its disposal during feast times. Then I found in a dark and out of the way room below stairs that Gid said had always been called the "locker room" - though he couldn't tell me why it had been called that – basket upon basket of antique crockery that was so fine and thin you could see the shadow of your hand through it if you held it to the sun. With it were wooden boxes of what we discovered after a little rubbing to be silverware and other fancy serving pieces.

"Where did this all come from?" I said looking around and trying not to show my consternation for Gid to see.

Gid shrugged as if the cavern of treasure concerned him not the least. "Uncle Fid said during the Dark Days and right afterwards some members of the family became salvagers. I guess all those that survived those days did it to some extent, some people just made a better living at it than others. The family journals tell some tales but I don't know whether they are tall tales or true tales and frankly don't care." In remembered irritation he said, "You should have seen all the compost I had to haul out of here and burn. If you think this place is still wall to wall inventory you would not have believed your eyes before I started cleaning it out. Rotted, rusted flotsam that hadn't worked since who knows when if ever. To this day I can't tell you what purpose some of it was created for and neither could Uncle Fid the few times I asked as a boy. A lot of old electricals piled in some of the rooms upstairs and crushed by the weight of what was on top and by the canker of age." He shuddered. "If you want this then I'll haul the rest of it up but it don't seem that practical to me."

Knowing he was right I said, "Mostly I need to clean the room out to get rid of what is broken and to free up space for storage if we are truly going to use the below stairs. Did you know that some of the rooms down there have windows, or places for windows? They've been paneled over and things piled in front of them. It is on the side of the house …"

He nodded before I could finish. "On the steep side of the house. Aye. They were blocked off in my great great grandparents' time if not before. Can't keep track of the generations. Long time ago used to be people that the Brotherhood ran out of the cities turned raider and used the old maps to locate homes to try and salvage from. They didn't care much if there were people still living in them either from the accounting given by the village elders and oldsters like Uncle Fid."

I decided that below stairs would have to wait no matter how I wished to move the supplies still stacked higglety-pigglety in our sleeping chamber and in the front foyer. The kitchen and main living floor was more than enough to keep me busy for a while, especially after a full morning of foraging. I brought in burdock roots, yarrow, mullein, fireweed, pennycress, peppergrass, tansy, thistle stalk, lamb's quarter, and red and white clover flowers. I found a treasure of wild strawberries that Aunt Giselle could have sold to the wealthier traveling merchants for quite a bit of silver and copper should a way have been found to save them for transport … maybe even a bit of gold; certainly a goodly load of grains or other goods should she have chosen to barter instead.

The strawberries were tiny as my little fingernail but there were so many of them that I could pick a small bucket of them a day; that is until something else found them. The morning I saw the trampled plants and area of missing berries I turned and headed back to the safety of the cabin. That's where Gid found me replanting some dog rose bushes that I had dug up the day before.

"I thought you were going to wait for me to dig them holes."

I looked up at him and said, "Was but …"

"But what?" he asked while washing up at the bucket of water I had set to warm for just that purpose.

"The strawberry patch I went to this morning has been stripped."

I didn't need to explain my caution. Gid stopped mid splash and asked, "Did you see any scat?"

I shook my head. "But I did see some sign of something big moving through I just can't tell for sure if it was a grizzle or not. There were no scratches in the ground or surrounding trees."

Gid looked thoughtful. "Doesn't have to be a grizzly … could be a black bear. Might not be a bear at all but most likely is. I'll go look after I get some food in me. I'm about starved to death woman."

His playfulness and lack of concern told me I'd done the right thing by coming back to the cabin. Still, I did not wish for him to go to the strawberry patch alone and he humored me so long as I promised to do whatever he told me should we run into a predator of some type.

It was short work to get back to the berry patch and with Gid there I decided to collect as many of the small, sweet berries that remained as I could in case he forbade me from going that way again. He called me to him after a bit and said, "It's a bear true enough, but a yearling by the size of it … and it isn't a grizzly going by the prints I've found and the hair on a tree used for scratching. Could still cause us some trouble so I want the birds and other animals put up if we are both going to be away from the cabin. Now finish your berrying, I need to get back to the field. And you might want to come with me. Saw some currants growing over into the chute and I'm gonna have to cut 'em back."

Over the next several days we kept a look out for the bear but it never returned. We did find two old carcasses that I recognized as Prongs from their funny antlers.

Gid said, "Don't normally get 'em 'round here; have to go further to the northwest. P'raps a small herd moved in rather than go to their normal range."

I shrugged, "I don't see much evidence that your land suffered from the drought like so many other places have. Perhaps they were here looking for forage."

Gid nodded. "It's happened before. We're pretty well protected here; land hasn't been hunted over either even though we're at the foothills where Riverside is in a valley. I even found a skull that couldn't be from anything but a Big Horn. Likely they came this way to escape death only to find it when they were too weak to survive last winter. I was using my time to clean out the compost in the cabin, not hunt. Maybe I should have."

When he shrugged in irritation at the opportunity lost I told him, "You bring in as much as Papa did when he spent the mornings hunting."

He glanced up from some work he was about. "You held your Papa high didn't you." It was a statement, not a question.

I nodded. "He took care of us and did his duty to the Church."

Gid then asked me something I hadn't thought about. "Wonder what your father would think of me."

I gave it serious thought while I picked some berries that I knew were edible and on the trail that I had heard called thimbleberries or salmonberries by turn. Gid was setting snares to thin the herds of jackthumpers that were birthed that spring. He wasn't finished setting the last one before the first one sprang, catching what I decided then and there would be our supper.

"See?"

"See what?"

I practiced a small smile and told him, "Papa was the same way … so good that the animals seemed to rush to climb into his traps."

Gid looked surprised then chuckled realizing I had tried to make a joke. "I'm not that good," he denied modestly.

I shrugged and then said more seriously, "Papa missed too sometimes. He taught me to be gracious about it when it happened to me. He said that if man caught every animal they went after then there would be none left to feed us the next season."

Gid nodded then looked around. "You got enough? I need to get back."

"It will be as you say. And Gid?"

"Yes?"

Quietly I told him, "I think Papa would have liked you. Mayhap he wouldn't want to know anything about your … er … appetites, but he'd respect what you are trying to do and the way you are doing it."

Gid looked at me in surprise and then grinned. "I wish my Mother could meet you and you her. I don't have too many memories of her but one that I do is one time when she was trying to explain to me why we didn't live with my father. She told me … 'Gideon, if you chose to take yourself a woman make sure she is one that makes you feel like a man and that you're not always having to fight to see who's boss.' I didn't understand at the time but I do now."

"How so?"

"My mother was what most polite people would call strong-willed. She'd thought Father was going to be able to live with that part of her so long as she gave him what she thought he needed." He shook his head. "Turns out that perhaps had they not had to face the kind of trouble they did the two of them could have compromised to make it work. But life didn't happen that way and they could not seem to find it in themselves to get along. Father wanted more children but Mother …" He stopped and shook his head. "Listen to me. All I meant to say was that Mother said to find a woman that made me feel like a man. Just want you to know you do … that and more."

The pleasure his words gave me coursed through my veins like dream dust. We walked back in companionable silence, taking a path I hadn't used before. It was as we were passing through some brush that I heard the delicate buzzing. "Gid?"

"I hear 'em. And here I thought I was going to get some work done but I suppose you want me to check that tree for honey instead."

I blinked, speechless until he turned and I saw he was smiling. I nearly fell in relief and though I tried to cover it he'd seen. He tucked a stray hair behind my ear and bent low for a gentle kiss. "I'm right fond of the sweet taste of honey." It took a moment but his innuendo brought the heat to my face which seemed to be his way of being silly and letting me know he had only been jesting with his words before.

We spent the next few hours gathering honey and comb and then carting the sweet, sticky mess back to the cabin where we strained it and poured in into tightly lidded crocks that I had boiled clean. There wasn't as much jolly making the rest of the month as we were too busy. With the honey I could preserve the fruit in ways other than drying and though tired at the end of the day I felt the satisfaction of knowing that come winter there'd be no doubt that I had pulled my weight and done my duty.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

"What's this?" he asked around the mouthful he'd just shoved in. "Don't recognize the flavor."

I blinked at him worried. "It is not to your liking? I'll fetch you some …"

He reached across the table and stopped me from doing more than rising with the intent to figure out something else for his meal. "Didn't say that. Just wanted to know what it is."

"It's … it's just roseroot salad." He looked over in the direction of the dog roses I had transplanted that are now showing signs of taking hold but I shook my head and explained, "Not that type of rose … the plant is just called roseroot. Perhaps because of the flower and its color, and that the root has a sweet, pleasing odor similar to a rose."

He turned back around and lifted his eyebrows in a signal that he understood and then went back to shoveling his food in. "It's good," he said after the next bite. "Like the onions in it too."

I relaxed. I had surprised, and been surprised by, a prong early in the morning and before I stopped to consider I was further away from the cabin than normal I'd brought it down with an arrow. Between field dressing the animal and packing it back home across my shoulders – and yes I've become able to call the cabin home – there wasn't time to cook it properly for the mid-day meal. I scrambled madly trying to put some munch on the table so that Gid would have sufficient to eat. Preparing the roseroot and a few other greens was all I had time for. I planned to make it up to Gid at the evening meal with a black currant pudding to go with the prong roast that was cooking.

August has been a busy month for both of us and we were tired even before the end of day. For some reason I feel rushed, like my time is being stolen from me and that I'll fail and disappoint Gid and make him sorry it was me he took from the cage. On the other hand Gid has also complained of there not being enough hours in the day to get done all that he wishes to. The Brothers always said that God will lead us if we let Him. I'm beginning to wonder if perhaps He isn't telling us to make the most of our time because we will have less of it than we'd like to prepare for the winter.

"Gid?" I asked hesitantly.

"Know that look and don't like it. What's got you cringing? Told you I wasn't mad about the prong or the meal being a little short."

Carefully I tried to explain how I was feeling. Gid eyed me as he chewed the last of his munch slowly. "My father always said when your woman gets a certain feeling on something it doesn't hurt to listen. And from where I am looking it seems you've been thinking."

I bit my lip and then said, "Yes. I'm trying to be helpful Gid. You said you want me to think so .. uh …"

"So I don't have to do it all myself. I don't want to have to repeat myself about it either."

I could tell he was tired and his temper was short. He'd been clearing the last of the irrigation ditches when he'd disturbed a hornets' nest. I felt blessed they weren't corrupted hornets or bees whose venom could kill a man in only a few stings but still he was pained enough and I felt badly for adding to his burden.

"Let me change the mallow poultice on your hand Gid."

"In a bit, just finish what you were saying," he snapped. "I don't have all day. Wasted enough of it as it is."

I tried not to let his tone affect me. I reasoned with myself that if I could live with Aunt for as long as I did, surely I shouldn't be upset by a few words.

"I wish to go hunting beyond the boundary you set for me to see if there are any other resources that we can use."

"No."

I opened my mouth and then closed it. Though I was disappointed I quietly I told him, "It will be as you say."

Instead of making him happy my words only seemed to make him more discontent with the day. He slammed his hand down on the table, having forgotten the stings and then yelled a curse as he jumped up. He kicked the chair over and I heard it crack which only made him curse again. He clutched his hand to him and I rushed over to see if he'd split the stings open. He saw me coming and angrily pushed me with the flat of his hand back only I hadn't expected it and tripped and fell over the broken chair further damaging it.

"Now see what you …!"

The look on his face was more than I could bear to see. I dropped my eyes only that seem to enflame him even more.

He uttered an awful curse and bellowed, "What have I told you about that cringing?!"

I ran. I should have stayed and taken my punishment. I know it will only be worse the longer I put it off. It just hurts so. The look in his eyes was the same as the false Sisters that have taken up residence in my dreams. I shouldn't be such a coward. Perhaps I can make it up to him. I saw some slippery elm trees when I was bringing the prong back. I will take the inner bark from a strip and cut it into what the barkeep's wife called noodles. I'll put some slices of prong on top and make a thick sauce of the pan drippings and flour to moisten the whole. Perhaps that and currant pudding will be enough to let him know I'm sorry.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

After getting the elm I hiked resolutely back to the cabin prepared to accept whatever Gid would do to me but I stumbled when I heard him roar in anger and then other raised voices. I dropped all that I carried except for my bow and quiver and ran forward thinking only that raiders had come and I would rather die fighting than live without the one that bought me. I came around the corner of the cabin with my bow drawn and my appearance caused a woman to scream and then faint.

I quickly lowered my bow and stepped back in such shock that all that had come before on that day was forgotten. My eyes sought and found Gid who stood nose to nose with his brother Jace and they were arguing. Tad and Ern both were trying to get between them; given the look on their faces it was something only a brave or foolhardy person should try.

A young woman walked over to me and I could see she was weary, worried, and bruised. "I don't guess you remember me but I'm Lolly."

I nodded and then tried to calmly answer, "I never got to thank you for the basket you sent."

She nodded but could not bring a smile to her face. "Can you do something with Gideon? Jace is too worried and tired to do anything but talk with his backside." She sighed deeply and added, "I'll get some of the others and we'll scoop Vaniece into one of the wagons."

I swallowed, squared my shoulders and then carefully stepped into the fray.

"Gid?" I said as calmly as I could. "I thought it was raiders. I nearly shot my quiver coming around the corner."

He looked at me then away then back at me and then blinked. I saw him swallow then say gruffly, "Come here."

I went forward trying to not show any fear. If I was to be humiliated in front of his family it was no more than I deserved. Instead he did an odd thing and pulled me to his side and said, "Jace says I've been keeping things from the family."

Slowly I asked, "What things?" He tossed his head in the direction of the cabin. "Oh," I said. Trying to be neutral I continued, "I don't suppose they've seen the inside then. I've only had the chance to clean your sleeping chamber and the kitchen pantry the way it should be and still there is more that could be done to both those spaces. The kitchen also needs more work before a meal is cooked in it. Below stairs yet looks like a rats' warren and the upstairs is little better with only two of the rooms fit for use." I looked at the sun as it made its way through the sky. "Most will have to sleep all together in the great room as there is no place else to put them unless they wish to sleep on the stair risers or with the animals. I'll do my best to set a meal."

Gid growled, "Locusts. We'll never get stocks in for winter."

I feared the same but didn't feel it was my place to voice my concerns. Just then Jace said, "We aren't beggars and didn't come empty handed."

Gid snapped, "Then why didn't you say so instead of starting in on me with talk that it was my duty and pleasure since I was a rich man?"

Jace was about to shout back but then stumbled as the air seemed to leave him. Ern and Tad grabbed him before he could fall and Gid looked on in shock. He stepped forward and put his shoulder under Jace's and forcibly drew him to a bench of granite and pushed him down on it. "What's this? Are you injured? Why didn't you say something? Yulee! Fetch your yarb bag!"

Jace put his hand up to forestall what he started to say was a fuss over nothing. Tad finally spoke in a tired voice and said, "Not nothing. You're exhausted same as the rest of us Jace. More so 'cause you were at the smith from morning til night and back again making sure everyone had all the guns and powder they could carry to see them to safety."

I looked at Gid but he had turned to yell at the younger brothers to get up off their rumps and tend the animals; that if they wanted to eat then they better work and work hard enough to suit his satisfaction. I left off listening as he was saying something to the effect that if he caught any of them climbing, crawling, or breaking things that they'd wish the raiders had caught them when Ern tugged at my sleeve and said, "Tad can manage these two now they've cooled a bit. Mother is in the wagon with Ned. Will you come?"

I looked at Tad who nodded and said, "Old man put himself between some raiders and the school children and took a beating for it."

My spine stiffened and a calmness fell on me. This is what Old Annie and the Sisters had trained me for. This is what Mam had expected me to do with my life. And I could feel Papa's determination flow into me as sure as a strong river as the only thing in life he hated as much as waste and sloth were raiders. I followed Ern to a wagon pulled under the shade of a white oak that would soon give us bushels of acorns. I stepped to the gate of the wagon and then pulled myself up and in and surveyed my task.

Vaniece was there having another fit of the vapors with Lolly looking like she was near to the point of pulling out the woman's hair to give her something real to cry about. Lurna bent over her brother Ned putting compresses on his forehead.

"Does he have a fever?"

Listlessly she said, "He started one this morn and after he seemed to be getting better. Now he won't answer me at all."

I moved forward and sat down and then leaned my ear against the older man's chest. When I could hear nothing I sat up and then reached over and slapped Vaniece. Everyone looked at me shocked, especially Vaniece. "That's better. Soon enough you would have been puking from hysterics and we do not need that on top of all of the other trauma this family is suffering. If you cannot control yourself find another wagon, preferably one some distance away. I need quiet so I can hear whether Ned's lungs are congested.

Vaniece opened her mouth but Lurna spoke instead. "Enough. Lolly, take Vaniece as far away as necessary." When Vaniece looked ready to turn mulish Lurna spat out, "Now." The tone left no one wondering which patient was the priority.

When quiet descended I once again bent to listen and was gratified to hear clear breaths going in and out with no wet to it at all. I felt Ned's skin and gave all a proper look. "Has he been taking in fluids?"

Lurna sighed and said, "Ned does not travel well and the pain left from the beating only made it more difficult for him to keep anything down."

I nodded, my initial diagnosis confirmed barring complications from his injuries. "He is too dry. We need to get liquids in him before the poison from the beating gets backed up in his system. Has he been coughing?"

She nodded. "But I thought it was from all the acid coming up when he puked."

"Hmmm. Perhaps, perhaps not. For now we need to move him inside." I looked over and called, "Gid?" I don't think he'd ever heard that tone from me. I don't think anyone had ever heard that tone from me. It was the voice of the Sisters when they were about their business in the surgery. "We need to get Ned inside. He needs quiet and a mug of mallow tea followed by a mug of linden leaf tea as soon as he gets the other down. It will be chilly tonight, please have the boys get wood to bring to the rear bedroom that overlooks the patio. Also, we need a blanket or quilt to help carry Ned; he should not be attempting the stairs until I'm sure his injuries are sufficiently healed." I turned to Lolly and said, "I know you are weary but will you please pick one or two girls to come help me prepare the room? I need to design some kind of sleeping pallet …"

"We've a wagon full of them," Lolly informed me.

Considerably relieved I said, "Very good. Please bring two, one suitable for Ned and one for your mother. I am sure she will wish to stay by her brother's side."

With a little more vigor in her voice than had been there a few moments before Lurna said, "Yes I will."

Soon enough everyone was moving and within the hour Ned was settled comfortably on a platform bed while Lolly spooned liquid into his mouth a few drips at a time, Lurna dozed on a cot next to his bed suffering exhaustion herself, and I had everyone else in the house lined up and receiving attention for any bumps, bruises, or overset nerves. As I cleared them for duty, Gid would direct them to some useful task.

Jace insisted on going last and was exhibiting enough stubbornness that I let him have his way. Vaniece was next to last though she didn't care for that at all. Several times she tried to drift away but Jace, in a voice of iron, called her back and put her minding some of the younger children. I would have suggested that she could help with the evening meal but the remembrance of the suggestion that she could not cook had me holding my tongue.

In the end Vaniece sat in what my Mam would have called a royal pet when I deemed her healthy except for a splotchy face from crying and making herself sick. Jace on the other hand was badly bruised and I shook my head over him. "You've been pummeled like a stone in a polishing wheel but I don't think you've anything broken inside. Did you give as good as you got sir?"

Tad and Ern overheard the comment, both of them carrying bruises of their own, and grinned weakly before saying, "We gave 'em enough that they'll remember us for a good long while."

"Hmmm," I muttered thinking that if the way they looked was winning I would not wish to see them lose.

Gid came in behind Jace and put his shoulder under his arm once again. Jace objected grumpily by saying, "I'm no frail old man. I can walk on my own."

"You are walking," Gid said. And then added reasonably, "But it is darkening upstairs with the shutters on so I do not wish you to mistake a stair or a turn. Light of day tomorrow will be better for you to learn the quirks of this place."

Jace was out of energy to fuss with and as Gid pulled Jace along Vaniece gave me a spiteful look then turned her nose up and followed them to the second bedroom and the last one left in the house with a working fireplace.

Ignoring her was easy as I was already putting my yarbs away and trying to figure what would be the quickest way to get everyone fed. Two girls of about thirteen summers came over to me. They were the two that Lolly had called to help in the room preparation. The fairer of the two I knew was named Jasmine and the other, quieter sister answered to the name of Gladys. I don't know if they were twins but they appeared so close in age that it was possible. "Gideon said we should help you."


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter Twenty-Five**

Trying to sound as if I wasn't afraid of shaming Gid I searched my memories of how Mam had acted when she had the supervision of young girls. "Thank you," I told them. "Your family needs feeding but before I put a meal before them could you tell me what you have been eating while on the road."

Jasmine shrugged, "Not much after the pemmican and hard tack rain out. Tad's Uncle Gerry helped us escape and would not let us have a fire and then Jace wouldn't either after the trader caravan went one direction to warn other towns in the area while we came this way."

I thought a moment then nodded. "I've had a prong roast cooking for most of the day. We'll shred it, add water to the pan drippings to make a broth and then thicken it a bit with some cream." Then I remembered I still needed to milk the cow.

A hand came around my waist and pulled me backwards. I nearly yelped until I realized it was Gid. He said, "I know that look and you don't need to worry about the animals on top of the rest of it. I've had the boys milking our cow as well as the others Jace brought along from town. All of the wagons, including ours, will have to stay out in the weather so that the barn can hold all of the creatures we now have the care of."

I turned to look at him over my shoulder and before I could say anything he put his forehead on mine. "I've had the boys build a fire for you. Will that be enough or should I collect some more children to do your bidding?"

Conscious of the eyes watching I told him, "Jasmine and Gladys have been well taught by Lolly and work with hardly any direction. If … if perhaps … hmmm … the smaller children could be rounded up and looked after to keep them from underfoot and from wandering off until they know their way?"

"The whole herd of jackthumpers are making beds in the great room and …" he raised his voice enough that it carried. "And they'd best get it all done proper or they can go to bed hungry. Children don't run wild as savages in my home or there will be consequences to pay."

Jasmine and Gladys looked at each other then nodded before following me out to the patio while Jace went to speak with Tad and Ern. The girls were as helpful as they had been upstairs and soon enough had enough mugs dug out of the kitchen cabinets for everyone. The twins Hiram and Hank brought buckets of water to be heated for clean up and I noted they were far more subdued than last time I'd seen them. I said naught to them and they left in a hurry as soon as the buckets were poured into the cauldron I used for heating wash water.

When the soup was finished to my satisfaction I wondered how to call everyone to meal but upon turning found I didn't have to as there were a great many eyes peeping at me from around the hedge, doors, and windows facing the back of the house. Sighing I said, "They look like I expect them to go into the soup pot rather than eat from it."

Jasmine and Gladys looked surprised for a moment and then giggled. Bashfully Gladys told me, "Gid said he'd do just that if we gave you any trouble."

"Hmmm. Well, I do my best not to disobey Gid but I'm not really partial to children in my soup, it throws the flavor off. All those dirty toes and ears you know. So it is with relief that I can say that you've been very helpful and I appreciate it. Could you please tell the others to line up so we can fill their mugs? I'll carry trays to those upstairs."

Lurna came from where she must have been visiting the privy and said, "No need for that. Ned is finally sleeping peacefully."

"Perhaps a tray for Jace and Vaniece?"

She shook her head and I could see that although she seemed to feel better she was still far from rested and well. "No. Jace has already brought Vaniece down with him. Did she not come here to help?"

Trying to avoid a situation I said, "I was focused on other things and may have missed her."

Lurna gave me a look that said that my ploy was as easy to see through as a dragonfly's gossamer wings but she didn't say anything. Instead she stepped forward and clapped her hands. Children being children they weren't completely silent as they were given their portion but they were so quiet compared to what I had witnessed before that I worried for their health. Gid came around the cabin with a worried look on his face until he saw me ladling several larger mugs of soup for him and the older brothers. He took it from my hand and inhaled the steam and said, "Ahhhh! This is some like."

"There should be enough for more for you and the older ones."

"Humph," Gid snorted. "Just to be sure let's put a lid and a guard on it." I had to bite my lip to keep from smiling at how serious he was.

From under my lashes I looked at him and said, "It shall be as you say." His eyes widened briefly at my attempt at humor, and poor though it was, he smiled broadly and I felt a weight fall from my chest that I had forgotten was sitting there. "Eat from my mug?" he asked. "This way I'll be sure you get your share." I nodded and I saw him relax.

Gid sat at the table with Jace, Tad, and Ern after dragging a chair from inside for Lurna to sit on near a small poured stone table that I sometimes used while I did the mending and sewing. Vaniece looked expectantly around like someone was going to fetch her a chair as well and when no one did glowered from the corner of the patio while everyone ignored her. I wasn't sure how things had changed but they had.

I was about to sit at Gid's feet when I suddenly remembered all that I had dropped before running into the clearing in front of the cabin. I stood straight to go get it before darkness fell but Gid read my mind as only he seemed able to and said, "Sit. I found your pack when I was showing Hiram and Hank the cistern. Unfortunately the dogs used the bark you dropped as a chew toy before I realized what it was."

I was resigned and said, "I should have thought to wrap it and put it in my pack instead of carrying it free like that. But even if the dogs didn't get it it would have been ruined for what I wanted it for by now anyway."

"Which was?"

"I was going to cut you some noodles from the inner bark."

Vaniece trilled an astonished laugh. "You feed poor Gideon tree bark? Can you provide nothing better? No wonder he is thinner than last we saw him; you are starving the poor man."

Ignoring the hurt she tried to offer I told her, "I was raised to the yarbing way. There are very few things in this forest that I can't find some use for." Thinking I sounded like a braggart I tried to show some humility by adding, "My Mam and the Sisters would be very disappointed in me if I did not do everything to do my duty to Gid. So even if it seems odd at first to you, I promise I've been trained properly and would never do anything to hurt him."

Gid's hand circled my wrist and then tugged me into his lap. It was a place I had been often but it was disconcerting to be there with his family looking on. I felt my face grow hot when he said, "I've no complaints about anything."

Gid insisted on feeding me between his own bites of soup. I desired to tell him that there was no need but he must have sensed the unsaid words and shifted me so that I was firmly planted and unable to take my leave unless I wished to make a scene.

After the meal each child washed their own dish and carefully set it to dry on the soapstone counter in the kitchen before washing themselves and finding their pallets. Each one was asleep as soon as they lay down and some before they could even find the energy to pull their covers about them. Despite my youth I'd worked my share in the church orphanage and almost out of habit righted a blanket here and rolled a child back into their bed there until they were all as snug as they were going to be.

I glanced up to find Lurna looking at me with troubled eyes. I crossed the room to see if she needed anything but she shook her head before I could ask and trod wearily up the stairs back to Ned's bedside. Lolly came down and gratefully took the last mugful of soup that I had saved for her and told me that Ned woke once to ask for something to drink and about everyone's health before dozing back off.

"Mother said that if I wish I can lay a pallet in the hall in case I am needed."

I shook my head. "There is no need to sleep on the floor like the children. There is another cot that we can set up for you."

"What of Tad and Ern?"

I nodded. "They are taken care of as well. They've decided to sleep with the wagons until tomorrow when the rest of your family's goods can be brought in. Tomorrow will you help me ready more rooms so we can get the children up off the cold floors downstairs?"

She nodded and her normally serious face betrayed a small smile. "You aren't what was expected but you seem to make Gideon happy."

I swallowed and was about to say that it was the only thing I cared about when Gid came up from below stairs and grinned a big toothy grin and said, "Oh, she does that and more."

I looked at him but he only smiled bigger. "Are you free to speak Mistress Yulee?"

Still shocked at his public foolishness I could only nod and follow him to our sleeping chambers. He pulled me inside and had me against the wall before I could think. His hands were busy going places they were want to go while he mumbled, "I was coming to look for you when the carnival showed up. I was worried I'd …" He shook his head as if to clear it and mumbled, "Tell me I didn't hurt you. Tell me it's alright between us. Tell me …" He brought his lips down on mine until I was nearly faint with lack of air.

"Tell me …"

To keep from being swallowed whole I pulled back and said, "I will if you'll let me think. I can't think hardly at all when you do this."

"Good," he muttered and that is all that was said for a bit.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter Twenty-Six**

"Gid?"

He was "helping" me to dress again which is to say he wasn't being very helpful at all. I finally brushed his hands away and he only reluctantly let me.

"You're wanting to know what happened?"

"If they've told you," I said admitting to my curiosity.

He nodded and then mischievously reached out and untied a string that had me undoing several more so I could retie the one he'd loosed and get myself fixed and covered. But that seemed to be the last trick he had the energy for pulling as he finally started to explain.

"A small raider group sent ahead to soften things up got beyond the town gates by bribery under the guise of getting to the market early to scope out their competition, but then they jumped the gun and outed themselves too early. They were defeated but had black powder and blew up several places in the wall so that it couldn't be repaired before the main body of raiders showed up. Shale and Yellow Rock took as many Riverside residents as they could safely hold before shutting their gates against the larger raider party that had been spotted heading their way but that still left several large family groups to fend for themselves. Some went to the mines as it is already hardened off against attacks. Some had family in the logging outpost and went that way, for refuge and to warn them. Tad said Jace almost sent the youngest children there with Heather and the other older girls but then Lurna became nearly hysterical at the idea of being parted from them so in addition to packing all of the house goods that their wagons could hold, the kids were packed up and loaded as well … after Jace nearly killed himself making sure that he'd filled every order for shot and powder that he'd promised between now and next Spring. He also repaired all the guns that were brought to him. The damned fool. If he had left sooner they wouldn't have gotten knocked about so much. But he's just like Father … too much loyalty to friends who think nothing of what it costs him."

I drew Gid to the bathing chamber and had him sit while I unwrapped his hornet stung hand and put a new poultice on it. One swell was oozing puss bit which made me realize he hadn't been completely truthful about the stingers. They may not have been fully corrupted but they'd cross bred with some. I checked the stings over well but found none of their larva burrowing under the skin however decided to lance them and wash them well with berberine – a decoction of Oregon grape root – since it was the only thing I knew that would treat the parasitic worms and kill them before they could do serious damage by destroying the tissue around the sting area.

Tensely Gid said, "They're here for the winter Yulee. The town was being sacked as they escaped. Even if the raiders leave right now it is too late in the season to make the repairs needed to secure things."

"It shall be as you say."

"Not as I say," he muttered. "We were to have a season or two to ourselves. We had plans."

I put some scented oil on a small cloth and rubbed his neck and felt him relax against me as the pleasing odor eased his stress. I told him quietly, "Papa said the fastest way to make God laugh is to tell Him you have plans."

"Hmmm. I'll have to remember that and just keep it to myself from here on out."

I shook my head. "God knows everything." At Gid's snort I said, "He isn't against people having plans, He just expects to be included in any plans we make."

Gid shook his head wearily at that and said, "Well next time I'll know better. All that's happened today just reminds me I'm not overly fond of surprises and this was a wicked one on top of me playing the ass. Tell me again you don't hold it against me."

I tried to show him, not just tell him, but I could feel him becoming stressed with his thoughts and guessed rightly he was thinking of supplies. "With all the hands to work, and a willingness in them as well, we'll do fine. Just …"

"Just what?" he asked.

"Just … well how much experience do they have preparing for the seasons? I saw a garden from the kitchen window when I was there but it was too small to feed your family."

He reached up and patted my hand where I had begun to massage his shoulders. "They have enough. Not as much as you but enough they won't be a nuisance … or I'll know why. I've smoothed things over with Jace and Tad and Ern just laughed and said they were grateful they'd not have to sleep in tents all winter."

"And Lurna?"

He shook his head. "Haven't really had too many words with her. We both shot our wad after that business with the ants. If she has something to say she can come to me … and keep a civil tongue in her head while she is about it. You're queen of my kingdom and I won't have you treated ill."

I blinked at his unexpected words but added nothing. I could feel the muscles bunching and unbunching under my hands which told me it would be best to leave him be and try and smooth things out with Lurna on my own as we went along.

"Vaniece is a real piece."

I had been admiring what I was handling and barely answered with, "Hmmm?"

Gid glanced back and caught me looking and grinned once again. "Enough of that woman or I'll be too wore out to even sleep tonight."

I could feel the blood rush to my face and jerked my hands away from where they had started to wander his chest but he chuckled and brought me around to sit in his lap once again. More seriously he said, "I had no cause to take my foulness out on you Yulee."

Carefully I told him, "You were hurting worse than I knew. I should have bided my tongue and spoken to you at a different time."

"No. I'll not go down that path. I know I'm bad but I never want to be tempted to turn into the tyrant some men are. I promised you I'd never treat you that way." He sighed. "I was hurting but more from the worry of the snow I see already advancing on the tallest peeks than the stings. Every bit of wasted time is like a burr in my tail. Now we have this to deal with too. I want us to be united to face it, not you worrying and running around trying to find ways to keep me from raising my hand to you."

He started nuzzling my neck and I sat quietly letting him do what seemed to bring him comfort. "Gid?"

"Hmm?"

"If you've nothing against it I'll speak with Lurna … or perhaps start with Lolly … and ask what they brought and how much of it can be thrown in for winter provisions and how much needs to be set aside for spring planting. And perhaps you can speak with Tad and Ern – and Jace if you feel he is able – and set a time to go down towards one of the meadows to cut more feed to dry and stack for all of the extra animals. You said we would need more than what we have already. Once we know what we have to work with we can formulate a plan."

He nodded all the while his kisses and nuzzles were becoming more insistent but then a knock on the door interrupted his druthers. A look of resignation crossed his face and he told me, "Cover those us while I see what is needed."


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter Twenty-Seven**

It took not one but three days to settle Gid's family into the cabin well enough that we could get back to preparing for winter. Everything was working well … almost everything.

"This isn't necessary. Simply send Gid to find a trader caravan and buy what we need. Tad's uncle cannot be too far away and he had goods he'd expected to unload in Riverside. You can trade some of your riches and save us all this work. That is what my father would do."

I locked my teeth against what I wanted to say and prayed to God that He'd help me not shame Gid by giving into the temptation of tossing Vaniece into the cistern and leaving her there until she agreed to leave me in peace.

"Vaniece these aren't my riches they belong to Gid and are heirlooms from his mother's side of the family. And there is not the least bit of reason to pay good coin or barter for something that we can gather for free without even having to travel a day's ride from the cabin. Coin should only be spent on that which you cannot make yourself."

"Humphf," she snapped. "Look at my hands! They're dirty and cracked like a …" I knew something nasty was coming when she gave me a look. "Like the hands of a woman that came from the slave cages."

It bothered me less and less as she resorted more and more to reminding me and every one of my beginnings in her attempts to put me in my place. "That would not be the case if you had listened to Lurna about putting balm on your hands. You do not see the other girls complaining of their hands and they are working at least as hard as you are."

"I am a woman, not a girl … and a wife," she added pointedly. "I should be sitting by my husband's hearth."

Beginning to lose patience I told her, "If you sat as much as you said was your duty to you'd soon be so wide no chair would hold you. Now stop delaying us. Lurna and Ned are waiting for more baskets of these acorns and we also need to finish harvesting the closest of the huckleberry and red currants patches so that we can begin harvesting blackberries and raspberries tomorrow. Tad and Ern said they found several areas that were ready to pick when they were hunting this morning."

"Oh you …" She threw her basket down spilling what few acorns she had put inside it and said, "I'm not meant for this. My father did not raise me to be such a slattern."

She'd made the mistake of drawing attention to herself this time and Jace stepped into the yard and snapped, "Then you should have gone with your father as you wanted."

She began to pout and said, "You know I couldn't. His new wife is a horror and said it was my duty to follow you."

In anger he spit, "She's only a horror because she refuses to take such a spoiled child as you back under your father's roof; she knows she'd never be rid of you after that."

Vaniece inhaled sharply and I could see that Jace's words had truly hurt her. But rather than deal with it she pretended to faint. Lolly and I both moved out of the way and rather than fall gracefully into anyone's arms she landed hard atop the acorns she'd just spilled. "Ow!"

"Teach you to play the drama queen," Jace said from a safe distance. I swept Lolly and the other girls and little boys towards the back of the house with their baskets. If they were going to have words I'd give them privacy to do it with.

Later that night as I helped Gid to wash his back after a long day of cutting and stacking shocks of long grass for the animals' winter fodder he said, "Heard Jace and Vaniece showed their backsides. Again."

"Hmmm."

"I know that sound. When it is just the two of us I wish you to speak freely. Nothing you can say will upset me."

I started scrubbing his hair to get rid of all of the chaff and dirt that had taken up residence on his head. It reminded me that I'd need more soapwort and it was already hard to find. Putting it on my long to do list I told Gid, "I only know what I see so I could be wrong but it appears that Vaniece needs to feel like she has value but Jace has grown tired of waiting for her to make herself valuable instead of expecting someone else to cause her to feel it."

Gid gave a tired sigh and said, "That's got to be the best explanation that takes the fewest words that I've heard yet … and makes the most sense."

A little wickedly I said, "If I thought it would be helpful I'd dose her with red raspberry leaf, nettles, and red clover teas." When Gid raised an eyebrow indicating he wanted to know why I explained, "They promote fertility. With a babe in her womb she might be inclined to fewer dramatics."

Gid snorted, "Or not. So leave off your meddling for now. Jace and Vaniece will have to find their own way. We'll try and not make it more difficult but I'll not do the work for them either." Then he grunted like an old bear and said, "Yeah, there. Right there. Scratch harder. I think I must've found a patch of rash weed with that last wagon load."

"Then you don't need scratching; you need some salve."

I got a damp kiss before he said, "Scratching is more satisfying. Brings me some relief."

I looked at his face and sure enough he was making what gram called a double-entendre. I shook my head at his play which only caused him to chuckle and make a grab for me. I escaped but only because there really was no time for it. The children were being put to bed and the grown brothers were going to meet in front of a fire in the Great Hall to discuss things like meat and fodder and what else needed to be done before the first snowflakes fell. Gid wanted me there so I could answer questions about the other supplies.

I poured a warm, spicy brew I made from the wild grapes that had been gathered by some of the girls that afternoon into everyone's mug and then made sure that Ned had a quilt across his lap before Gid finally bid me sit. "And not on the floor with the mutts and furballs. Up here with me," he said patting a chair he'd pulled forward into the firelight.

I sat and then Gid looked around. All of the adults were there except for Vaniece who had gone to bed with a headache.

"She should be here," Jace said apologetically. "It's not fair for the rest if she doesn't pull her weight."

Calmly I told him, "She is not faking again if you are concerned about that. She's cried herself into a real one this time."

"Hah!" he muttered. "Then let it be a lesson to her and maybe she won't do it again."

Jace was coming to be very unhappy with his choice of bride. Perhaps there would have been no troubles, or at least fewer of them, had they stayed in Riverside but out here she was worse than a fish out of water. Gid chose that moment to steer the conversation back to its original purpose.

"I've looked at the smoke shed and unless we start filling it up now we'll be battling with the cows for their feed before the winter is over."

I patted his leg and said, "Perhaps not so bad as that but it would be better to hunt now in case the snow flies early."

Morosely Gid replied, "With the way my luck's running that is surely bound to happen."

Two days earlier the plow handle had cracked and broken several metal fastenings. Jace was the best to repair it as he said, "Handles are just another type of rifle stock only they don't need to be quite so pretty. I'll set up the portable forge and see about mending the metal as well." Finding a big enough piece of seasoned wood had turned out to be the biggest challenge but finally the repair was under way.

Tad said, "We filled up the last of those big clay pots with the loose grain and got it down below stairs." He shuddered. "Not telling you your business Gid but something needs to be done down there. The armory is in good shape but most of the rest makes me feel like I'm in a forest of trees that is about to topple down on me."

Gid nodded. "I know. Had planned on that this winter but it looks like …" He stopped and sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. I took a small flask from my pocket and then put a drop of its content where I brushed his hands away from. He inhaled deeply and began to relax.

"What's that?" Lurna asked suspiciously, like I was dosing Gid with a drug stick.

Ned answered her instead of me and said, "I believe it is a called an aromatic. Certain scents have a calming effect and it would appear for Gid in particular it is enjoyable."

I nodded and Gid said, "Yes. Don't know why, just is. Yulee made me a pillow of the scent as well and I sleep better for it when I've had a long day."

Lurna demanded, "Let me see."

I handed her the small flask and she removed the stopper and cautiously sniffed. Slowly she replaced the stopper and handed it back. "Chamomile and cedarwood?" I nodded and she looked at me thoughtfully.

Gid said, "Enough about my megrims. Yulee? What do you expect more of for the rest of the harvesting season?"

I'd known he'd likely ask me so I was prepared with an answer. "We've still bushels of acorns to collect and store. The meal we can make from those will help piece out the other grains we need for flour. Lurna and Ned are supervising some of the youngest in getting them properly dried and cleaned and put where they won't mold. Truly your Uncle Fid was a wonder for buying all of the clay pots."

Gid snorted in humor. "What's a wonder is that Uncle Fid survived the father of the girl he'd been sparking. It was her family that were clay workers and he nearly bankrupted the farm trying to bring her around and get her father's approval. When it fell through he vowed never again and stuck to that til he died."

Since that wasn't the only story I'd heard of his uncle's eccentricities I merely shook my head and continued on. "The huckleberries are still abundant and we've barely begun to pick the raspberries and blackberries up and down the drive but the red currants are finished. We've lost the battle with whatever was eating them before we could get to them."

"Another bear?"

I shook my head. "I suspect birds and mulies."

Lolly muttered, "As many as they've eaten they should be good and fat by now." She was upset because she'd had a thicket all picked out only to go the next day and find it stripped of every last berry.

I smiled gently to try and dispel her disappointment and told her, "It happens. God sends the fruit to feed all of His creations, not just we human ones. Or perhaps he is feeding them up so that they can feed us better in the autumn."

"I suppose."

Gid asked, "What else?"

"For the rest of this month there is porcini and puffball mushrooms, Oregon grapes, and salal berries. We should gather elm leaves, linden leaves, and mallow to dry for teas as they are at their peak. Do you wish me to speak of next month?" At his nod I ran through the list in my head. "Milkweed pods will be ready for picking but I don't want to take them all because some need to go to seed so I can harvest the fluff for batting to make you a winter coat. Then …"

"S'not me that needs a winter coat. I better not see you working on one for anyone else but you until I say otherwise. That thin cloak you have barely keeps the wind out now."

I swallowed but said nothing. I know he didn't mean to make his wishes known so roughly, he was just tired. Finally I started again. "It … it shall be as you say." I blinked and then went back to the list in my head. "All that is growing in the hedge rows should be finished out such as the wild grapes, huckleberries, gooseberries, jostaberries, buffalo berries, and chokecherries. The stream side elderberries should be ready for harvest and the patches of highbush cranberries should as well. We should make a stock of teas and brews from the rose hips, chamomile, linden flowers, licorice, mints and dandelion roots that will need to be dug and dried. The Oregon grapes should continue to produce and the wild plum trees are already bent and heavy with unripe fruit so the crop should be phenomenal if no wind storm comes along to take the harvest from us. The ground cherries will ripen next month as well. And I believe the children learned their lesson about eating little green apples from Hiram and Hank's experience so we shouldn't have to pull them out of the crabapple trees again."

Ern, Tad, and Jace all snickered and even Ned and Lurna tried to hide smiles. Lolly didn't bother and laughed out loud saying, "Serves them right." Gid on the other hand glowered. "Fine for the lot of you to find the joke but they broke three stout limbs that will take several seasons to replace. You'll go back to your lives in town and Yulee and I will have to do without what those limbs could have produced."

That sobered everyone's outlook. Tad asked, "Will that be the end of the harvests or is there something beyond?"

I looked at him surprised. "God provides something every month if you know where to look." Then I shook my head and said, "I did not mean to say … um …"

Tad smiled and said, "Don't be so worried. If our sister Heather was here I'd already be wearing my ears for a necklace for asking a foolish question."

Tad has finally gotten over his heartbreak and I can see why Gid is fond of him; he always tries to smooth the road for others to travel on. "Thank you but I don't want to sound so … so know-it-all. The truth is month after next, the old month of October, will be the last true harvest month though there will be a few things here and there that can be used during the snow time if we become desperate. But if the winter is bad the animals will need the wild forage even more than we do."

With that sobering thought we all trundled off to our sleeping quarters. Everyone was happy to see Ned doing so much better but Lurna still hovered a bit. Gid no sooner closed our door when he spun me around and asked huskily, "Now where were we?"

I shook my head. "You're in a silly mood."

"Mmmm. I'll show you what mood I'm in." I could see he was in the mood for a chase so I gave him one and then let him catch me before he could tire of his funning. Afterwards we lay in bed. I was nearly asleep when I heard him mutter, "I was a fool to be jealous of Jace. Look at the poor fellow now. Tad and I are well out of it."

"Hope is not lost. Vaniece just needs to find her way … and Jace needs to let her instead of …" I stopped.

"Instead of what?"

"It's not my place to say."

"I'm making it your place."

I thought for a moment before answering carefully. "Vaniece is spoilt, I don't think anyone can deny it, but I don't think she is bad; just silly and vain and used to more attention than is good for her. But part of it is that Jace has gone from fawning over her to treating her with so much contempt she … I don't think she can understand it. Not won't but can't. She spends so much time with her hurt with no reason to come out of it that … that it leaves no space or time for her to see anything else."

"Vaniece is not a child. She needs to pull her weight."

I nodded and my braids rasped against his chest. "Yes but she's never … never been trained if I'm understanding. The responsibilities of a family are large. Mam used to say it is why children come into the world in such small packages and with so much give to them; it is so their parents can learn and grow as they do without ruining them." I turned in his arms and laid my head on his shoulder. "Even without children this … this being so responsible is a large task. I … I was scared all the time with Jubal and in the end nothing … nothing I did could save him." Gid wrapped me securely when he felt my shudder. "I barely survived it and a good part of me died that night and stayed dead 'til you made me see that life … that life can be worth living again, not just surviving out of duty. All of that and I still was well-trained by my family and the Sisters and Brothers of the church. I try and put myself in Vaniece's place and I imagine what she must be feeling and it isn't envy or jealousy but fear and confusion no matter how she might act. Nothing and no one in her life led her to believe this would be her lot, prepared her for the role life would hand her. She was over protected from realities. Her Papa may love her but he did her no favors."

Gid said, "This is all women speak. Talk to Lurna, about it. Mayhap she'll know how best to handle it."

I nodded but as we finally drifted off to sleep I admitted that the last thing I wanted to do was to give Lurna any other reason to think that I was interfering in her family.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter Twenty-Eight**

"August is finished, September flew by, and the close of October is coming fast," I thought to myself as I stood elbow deep in a vat of apples I was washing so that they could be put into the cider press. They are not the same apples I knew back in my village but some taste close enough as the difference was barely noticeable.

"Yulee? Got them ready yet?"

"Yes … Hir … er … Hank."

One twin pushed the other. "See, told you she'd know even if we switched hats and shirts."

I smiled and refused to admit that I had gotten lucky. It was easier to tell them apart with their hats off as I had discovered they had barely noticeable mirrored swirls in their hair line; one slightly center of left and the other slightly center of right.

"If you'll hold the basket I'll dip these out and get the next batch started."

As I loaded one of the boys mentioned, "Gid said if we were good that you'd bake each of us an apple with honey and raisins in it."

"Hmmm." I looked at them and they caved so quickly there was barely a pause in the conversation.

"Wellll, he did mention that you might but not so much that you would."

Fighting a smile I said, "It so happens that I plan to do that very thing but only a half an apple each or you won't have any room for the stew your mother has had simmering most of the day."

The boys grinned. One said, "Ma's stew is the best."

"The best," the other one agreed.

They took the basket off and I put the next load of apples into the water to clean. I looked at the large pile yet to go and grimaced then almost immediately gave myself a shake. "Never turn your nose up at a blessing no matter what form it takes or how much or how little because perhaps next time God will teach you to be more appreciative by withholding something if not outright taking something away."

There were many apple trees in the old orchard but not all of them gave very plentifully. The oldest needed to be cut down for smoking chips and new seedlings put in their place. The ones that yielded the greatest number of bushels had been planted by Gid and his Uncle Fid when Gid was still a boy. All of the trees needed a good pruning and they would get it at the end of the week when the last apple had been picked and put into the fruit cellar; a hand-dug pit put in by his Uncle Fid when the original one put in during the Great War had collapsed on itself.

I glanced towards the smoking shed and knew inside it hung racks upon racks of salmon. Earlier this month Gid had taken his brothers and been gone three days. They came back with barrels of kokanee. We finally got our first bear as well when one came too close to the cabin investigating the smell of the offal that the dogs were given. Luckily it wasn't a grizzle but it was still big and mean enough and one of the dogs still has its ribs wrapped where it had been given a mighty swat for daring to bite the bear's backside.

To everyone's delight Ned is now fully healed and making plans to give the children lessons once the snow starts falling using books that he managed to save from the school as well as the books that Gid's other family collected over the generations. I can only hope that gives them something to do besides swing from the rafters and drive Gid to threaten them with great bodily harm. The children have become so used to working hard out of doors all day long that it will be an adjustment for them to remain cooped up during the coldest months. On second thought perhaps I should suggest that a child-run is built along side the dog run so that we can send them outside should they become too much to handle.

Vaniece worries me. I've tried speaking to Lurna but she has lost all patience with the subject. She orders Vaniece about like the lowest bar maid. The other girls seem to feel that she is getting her just rewards while forgetting the fact that it was not that long ago that some of them were nearly as bad in their own way. Jace barely speaks to her, no longer even sharing a sleeping chamber, and Gid refuses to get involved saying that it was either one, Jace's business or two, women's business and neither one was any of his business.

I found her crying again last Sabbath Day. It wasn't the kind of tears she had before that were big and noisy and for show. These were real tears that she hid from everyone. She jumped nearly to the nearest peak when I put my arm around her to draw her up off of the cold, stone floor of a dark corner. "Come Vaniece. You'll take sick if you keep on like this."

"Why should you care?" she asked, both angry and miserable.

"Because I do. The Sisters raised me to be this way. Now come, a nice warm cup of tea will at least return the warmth to your hands; they're like ice."

She jerked her hands away. "Just leave me be."

"I can't. Not even after Gid saying it was none of our business."

"He's right. It isn't any of your business."

I nodded in the dim light of the lantern I'd brought down with me. "He's right but sometimes even when something isn't our business it is still wrong to ignore it."

She finally let me pull her up. "Just … just go. I don't want anyone to see me like this. I look ugly."

"You don't look ugly; you look unhappy."

She shook her head and nearly started crying again. "Nothing is the way I thought it would be. Nothing is the way I was promised it would be."

I sighed and said, "That happens a lot in life."

"How would you know?" she snarled.

"Because once I was a daughter in a house full of love just like you, and my Papa and Mam were there to take care of me and teach me and when they weren't the Sisters or Brothers were there to guide me. Only then they all were gone and I was left with a sickly, premature baby brother to try and keep alive and my only friend a frail old woman who had ten years on my own grandmother. Instead of living and working in the church I'd known my whole life, the place I expected to give my adult years to, I wound up following a caravan taproom that was more brothel than bar. I learned the ways of men and women trying not to hear my aunt and the bar whores as they went about their business. I lost my baby brother and my only friend within months of each other and railed at God for leaving me behind to live with His takings. I wound up humiliated and in a slave cage up for auction to the highest bidder and that was only shortly after I'd resolved to murder the hateful woman that was a sister to my Mam just to escape the misery she dished out to me day and night."

She looked at me with wide, fearful eyes. I told her, "You may think you have sunk low Vaniece, but I promise you as God as my witness you have a great deal more than you would have if Jace had not gotten you and the family away in time. Raiders killed my family. You still have yours. And you still have a chance to find your way through this mess you and Jace have let your lives get into."

What little life had come back into her eyes fled. "He … he doesn't want me anymore."

"So make him want you again."

"I can't. I've tried. He doesn't, not even a little. He said so." She turned her face away and whispered, "I wish I were dead."

Thinking back I still believe those last words of hers were no play act to garner my sympathy. Vaniece is guilty of making her life harder than it has to be but Jace has been no angel of mercy and light these last months. His anger is a cold and cruel one and it is beginning to set too comfortably upon his shoulders, becoming habit rather than true thought.

And now Vaniece is sick. The others think she is trying to garner attention in a new way but I have checked and she is not faking. She won't eat and wishes to do nothing but be left alone but I do not think she truly sleeps either. If she makes no improvement soon, if I cannot get through to her, I will speak to Jace even if it causes an argument with Gid. Cold and starvation are not the only things that can steal a life.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter Twenty-Nine**

"Gideon's correct, this is none of your business," Jace said giving me a cold stare.

"I am making it my business."

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am." He turned to leave and I told his back, "In case you're too mad to see it, Vaniece is dying."

He sighed in irritation and said, "You don't know her. She's acting again."

"Apparently it is you who don't know her because she isn't. She hasn't eaten in four days. The only reason Lolly and I were able to get any broth down her this morning is because of how weak she is and she threw that up less than an hour later. Go bury your head in a jackthumper's hole if you wish, but remember my warning Jace. Because soon nothing neither I nor anyone can do will bring her back. She's dying and it's mostly because she doesn't want to live."

He turned to look at me with hate-filled eyes. "You're exaggerating."

Lolly came into the clearing where we were talking. "No Jace she's not. I … I thought so too … at least at first. But she's not Jace." Lolly shook her head. "She looks the same as Mother did after father died, when we were all so worried about her and you sent for Aunt Verna."

"No," he denied.

I asked, "When was the last time you really looked at Vaniece rather than through her?"

"What would you know about it?"

"Enough. Most of you are too close to see it, too wrapped up in both your real and imagined hurt feelings and irritations where Vaniece is concerned. I'm the outsider looking in. Vaniece isn't an easy person to live with but you're no minister of the faith yourself. You carry your anger around like a prize and then whip Vaniece with it till she bleeds."

Outraged he shouted, "I've never laid a hand on her!"

Becoming irritated with his unwillingness to see what lay right beneath his nose I told him, "Some people you don't have to hit to wound to the quick Jace. Did Vaniece ever hit you or play you false? Yet you hurt do you not? Or did you think you could do whatever it is you wish and she bare the only consequence for the action?"

"How dare you interfere …"

"Yes I'm daring but only God knows if it isn't already too late. Or if you even care at all about her. She doesn't think you do. She's convinced herself of it … or maybe you finally managed to convince her of it. The results are the same either way. She doesn't want to live. She's set her mind to leaving this life believing no one wants her and for a girl like Vaniece being wanted is as necessary as air to breathe."

"Aw she's crazy. I brought her out of the town didn't I?"

"Did you? Or was it just an accident that she was in the wagon that day?" He shuttered his face. "She believes you don't want her and she knows her father didn't want her. Mayhap she believes one or the both of you might still love her but you don't want her and that's a different thing completely, especially for a woman."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"Think as you wish Jace. I am not here to try and make you do anything, only to tell how things stand. If something does not change you'll be burying your wife within two weeks and will be living with the consequences for much, much longer."

I turned and went back to the house with Lolly rushing to keep up. "Two weeks?"

I nodded. "If not before."

"But …"

I stopped and tried to pull my calm around me before talking. "Lolly, people are often unaware of how their words and deeds impact others. I don't think most of them mean to be cruel, it is simply the humanity in each of us choosing our pride over everything else. The Good Book tells us that pride breeds quarrels and then comes disgrace. We all suffer from it … and sometimes cause other people to suffer for it. Certainly Vaniece was not aware of where her behavior would lead her. And certainly Jace has been hurt through no fault of his own. But Jace no longer holds the moral high ground. Even now he's convincing himself that I'm merely being played by Vaniece and that even if she is a little sick it is self-induced and nothing more than what she deserves. I could see it written plainly on his face. As plainly as I saw it on your Mother's when I tried to speak to her about this."

Lolly's face was troubled. "I … I haven't always liked Vaniece but I don't want her to die."

I told her, "Sometimes it is not the point what we want for someone, but what they want for themselves. If Vaniece cannot find something else to live for besides her old dreams and what she thought her life was going to be then nothing anyone can say is going to bring her back around. And even if Jace decides tonight to change his ways with her, he may have already abdicated too much of his authority in her life for her to listen to him … or perhaps believe him would be the better word."

"You sound like there's no hope."

I looked up. "There's always hope Lolly. Sometimes that is all there is."


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter Thirty**

There was a crash and a shriek and Gid and I jumped from our bed. I tried to follow him out but he pushed me back in but only until we heard Lolly screamed, "Yulee! Hurry!"

I rushed up the stairs, banging my shin when I missed a riser. When I got to the landing I had to push children of all ages out of the way until I could get to the room. Vaniece was having convulsions.

Lolly was trying to hold her still with little success. I rushed over and grabbed the spoon we'd been using to get liquids down Vaniece. I did what I could to keep her from swallowing or biting her tongue. Jace just stood at the foot of the bed in stunned disbelief. I snapped at anyone who would listen and said, "Get him out of here. Now."

I heard a scuffle and angry words but Jace was gone. The convulsion ended at last leaving Vaniece in a state that left me no doubt another one too soon would kill her. "Lolly, fetch my bag."

She didn't need to ask what bag and ran down the stairs to get my yarbs. Lurna was only slightly less shocked than Jace had been but finally found her voice and asked, "What … what can I do?"

"Heat a pot of water. I've got to … to …" I took a calming breath. Lolly ran in with my yarb bag followed by Gid with an armload of wood. "Thank you," I told him. "I need the fire built back up so that we can make a valerian tea. It is the only thing I know that might work. The large lantern from the Great Room would also be helpful."

The rest of the night was a blur. I sent an exhausted Lolly off but she refused to go far. Lurna refused to leave - almost daring me to make it an order - except when she stepped out to check on Jace and to impress on the other children how important it was for them to be quiet. Ned went down stairs and sat with Jace who seemed to be having a painful epiphany.

For over an hour Vaniece struggled to find a rhythm her heart and breathing could fall into. Eventually however she seemed to relax and fall into a deep, true rest.

"How is she?" Lurna asked quietly after I finished counting heart beats yet again.

"Stronger … at least in some ways. I can't say about others."

"Was … was it the fever?"

I sighed. "Possibly but that explanation does not sound completely true. Perhaps it is part of it. I believe the other part is that Vaniece is simply slipping away. She seems to be fighting more to leave this world than stay in it."

Lurna gave a little shiver. "She can't do this."

I looked at Lurna then shook my head. "It is a little late to be saying such. And saying it to me does no good at all. It was Vaniece those words should have been spoken to, and some time ago at that."

"I didn't know."

A hand opened the door then a young woman stepped in and said, "Yes you did, and so did Jace. Yulee and I both told you. Plenty of times we told you. You just didn't want to know."

"Lolly!" her mother gasped.

"It's true Mother. I didn't want to know it at first either but at last I used my eyes instead of my hurt feelings to find the truth. At least I won't have to live with that."

Her mother gasped again and I could see that Lolly was angry. Carefully I stood up to go to her. "Lolly, remember what I said?"

She sighed and looked away. "I know. I know they don't mean to … to …" She shook her head unable to find the words for what she meant to say. "But they were and now Vaniece … will she die Yulee?"

I shook my head. "I'm not God Lolly. My knowing is not that deep."

"But … but there's hope?"

"There's always hope."

Over the coming weeks Vaniece improved … at least physically. She was still frail but she no longer looked ready for a shroud. But the Vaniece that sat in the rocker by the fire or stared out the window was not the same Vaniece that lived in her body before she became ill. For one she lost her balance easily; on the even floors of the cabin she could walk unaided, but on the stairs or outside she wobbled and tripped far too easily to go without someone at her elbow at all times. She also wobbled in her thoughts. She rarely spoke and when she did she would sometimes be unable to complete a thought and would go back to staring at nothing. And she never smiled. It wasn't that she seemed unhappy but more that she was so disconnected that she seemed to feel nothing. She reacted to very little. Not even to Jace whether he was trying to coax her or rail at her.

After a difficult morning I finally said, "Jace, go. Losing patience with her is not going to help."

"I'm … I'm not losing patience. She can do this, I know she can."

"No Jace, she cannot. She is better than she was but she has a long way to go. And you had best set you mind to the fact she may never be completely the girl she once was."

He looked like I'd slapped him. "You said there's always hope."

"And there is. Always. But is what you are hoping for your gain or for hers?"

He stomped from the room barely missing trampling Gid in his rush to get out.

Reaching my side Gid said, "You're being hard on him again."

"The truth isn't always an easy thing to hear but it is what he needs to hear." I draped a quilt across Vaniece's lap and turned to walk out with Gid. Suddenly she grabbed my wrist in a surprisingly strong grip. She'd done the same thing after another confrontation with Jace the day before. I patted her shoulder and said, "He'll be back. He just needs some air."

She slowly relaxed and let go so that Gid and I could go have some alone time. I had intended to pay some attention to Gid by massaging his shoulders. It had been far too long since I'd done it for him. Instead he sat me on the stool and did it for me.

"Oh Gid … I should be the one …"

"Hush woman and mind me. It's my pleasure to take care of you as I will and it has been far too long since I've had you in my hands to do it." I shuddered at how pleasuring his hands felt. "Better?" he asked.

"Hmmmmmmmm."

Gid chuckled. "You sound like the furball when she's getting her rump scratched."

"Hmphf." I tried to stand up and tie by top shut but he was having none of it.

"Don't be so sensitive woman. I'm rather fond of the sound if you must know so the more you do it the more I like it."

Relaxing once again I told him, "Silly."

"Maybe, but we deserve a bit of silliness now that you're able to leave Vaniece for more than a moment at a time. Ned said at breakfast that he would like to copy out what you've done so he can take it back for the library in Riverside. And stop your blushing, we all know without your learning Vaniece would have never survived."

I shook my head and said, "I merely did as I was taught … and I'm missing the higher learning I would have gotten from the Sisters, or Old Annie if she had lived. But I have her book."

"The one you carry that has the odd hide for a cover?"

"The same. That's ostrich or so said Old Annie."

"It's what?"

I rubbed his arm with my cheek. "Ostrich. It's a large bird that cannot fly. The bumps in the leather are from the quills of its feathers."

He snorted, "I know what an ostrich is. Ned had pictures of them once upon a time. Strange looking animals."

"Sorry."

"Don't be. It's been so long I almost didn't remember what an ostrich was. Seems a strange thing to have the leather from one as a book cover."

I nodded, happy to get beyond my know-it-all-ness. "Old Annie said the book has been passed down in her family for generations, from not too long before the Great War; doctoring was hard to come by and expensive even back then so people had to learn the best ways to care for their own. Her parents migrated to our village from a territory called Arkaneessee. Her parents told her that they once raised ostriches and another large flightless bird called an emu. They bred them for meat, feathers, and leather. When the Mississippi moved the last time their farm was destroyed and raiders moved into the area out of the East so they fled with what little they could carry and this book was one of them. Old Annie's mother taught her the yarbing way the same as her mother had taught her. Old Annie's husband and infant son died of a plague and her sister's daughters all died in infancy as well. She was my mother's nursemaid for a time while my grandmother recovered from the same plague and they became like sisters, sharing my mother between them."

"Your mother was a yarb woman?"

"No though she learned plenty from Old Annie, her skill was in stitching and cutting. It was me they picked out to carry the yarbing on when I showed some aptitude for it so early. And Old Annie was stubborn enough that she refused to even let Aunt Giselle keep her from passing on all she knew." Quietly I ended, "Only death stopped her."

I grew quiet and Gid said, "None of that."

"None of what?" I asked.

"The sad thoughts that put a pucker between your brows. It makes me feel like I'm not … distracting you properly."

I grinned and said, "If you distract me any better I'll be fit for nothing for the remainder of the day."

"Good."


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter Thirty-One

"Does Spring never come in these parts?" Ern complained.

I heard Gid answer, "It comes but only when it's ready to. You can't rush it."

Ern snorted. "I would have thought by now that you'd be eager for it to get here so that you could have your place back to yourself."

"I admit it's been a bit tight but you'd be worse back in town. And I'll say as well that having the extra hands to build the new barn and fix a few other things around here has been appreciated too. What's wrong?" Gid had a snicker in his voice when he asked, "Farm life don't suit you?"

"Aw, it's not that I don't appreciate it here but months and months of it …" I heard him shuffle his feet. "I miss townlife. I was always happy to get home from a barter run. Sure we worked but then when work was done there were places to go … different people to see. The only girls out here are either taken or m' sister … and don't you laugh either."

"I'm not laughing Ern," Gid said. He wasn't laughing … but you could still here the smile in his voice. "You looking to settle down already? Have some wild jackthumpers of your own?"

"Do I look crazy?! I just wanna have a little fun before I'm too old to enjoy it."

"Better not let Lurna hear about that fun you're wanting. That time she found out about Tad and I going over to …"

Ern chuckled then groaned. "S'not fair that you've had your fun … and now have Yulee on top of it."

"Yulee isn't like those girls Ern and I better never …"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa Gid. I didn't say she was. I might have wondered in the beginning but I got smart pretty fast. 'Sides … you wanted her and that was good enough for me. It was only Tad that had a burr in his tail and he's done gotten over that completely." Both were quiet before Ern said, "Wish Jace coulda got what you have. Doesn't seem … I don't know … right somehow. He's the oldest and Father fit him for the part."

Gid was silent except for the sound that his knife made where he was running it over the sharpening stone. Then he stopped and said, "I've tried to keep my nose out of it and you know why."

"The Vaniece stuff."

"Yeah. And the … the distance that's gotten between me and Lurna. Jace was always more like Father than any of us but in this instance it hasn't helped him any. He always had good luck with woman Father did … even when he and Mother decided to set each other aside it wasn't nasty and I can just remember her bringing me to Father's wedding party when he married Lurna and her wishing them many happies and even dancing with Father for old time sake to show there was no hard feelings. When I got older Father told me a lot of people never understood that but I think it was her way of trying to … trying to say thanks for what they did have and no hard feelings for what they didn't wind up getting."

"Could you do that for Yulee?"

"I swear by the all I know that I'll kill the man that tries to take her from me. That answer your question?"

"Sure does … but you can turn them death eyes off me. I'd never do you like that. Besides, Yulee scares me. She knows too many ways to kill a body, bring it back, and kill it again. She's too deep. No thankee. When it comes time all I want is a nice simple girl that knows how to make a good brew and cook well enough she don't poison me."

"Brew more important than food?"

"I'd rather eat burnt food at every meal than have to drink a single mug of bad brew."

Gid chuckled because anyone listening knew that was the absolute truth. Ern would live on brew if he could get away with doing it.

Ern sighed again.

"What are you sighing for this time? Not a thing you can do to make the snow stop falling or clear the roads."

"I know it. Just …"

"Just what?"

"If we get back to Riverside you think Jace is going to set Vaniece aside?"

"How should I know?"

"Well … what do you think is going to happen?"

"One, it isn't our business and two, I doubt Verna would sign off on the papers once she hears what happened. And you know Vaniece's father is going to want to know if for no other reason than to push off any guilt he might feel for not taking her back when she wanted to go back to his hearth."

Both men started sharpening knives again but eventually Ern said, "Do you think he would if he could?"

"What do you keep asking me for? Why don't you go ask Jace?"

"'Cause he already feels so bad, I don't want to make it worse. But …"

"But me no buts. I swear this family is always in each other's business. Just leave it alone and give it some time."

"But … you know … Jace is a man and if … well … if Vaniece ain't able to be a wife …"

I heard something tossed in the general direction that Ern's voice had come from. "What did you do that for?" he yelped.

"To shut you up. Look, Yulee said that Vaniece might not be as gone as she sometimes seems."

"You mean she might be fooling?!"

"No. She thinks that Vaniece needs time to heal. She may not be exactly who she was before but you can see that with Yulee making her practice walking and doing stuff with her hands that she isn't as clumsy as she was even a week ago."

"She don't talk much."

"Yulee didn't talk much at first either. Remember? She still don't talk as much as you lot. When you do leave I'm afraid the cabin is going to fall because there's not all your hot air keeping it up."

"Aw … we ain't that bad."

"Tell that to my ears. I swear if that herd of wild jackthumpers upstairs don't tone it down a bit I'm gonna be deaf as an old man come Spring."

Ern chuckled. "You won't know what to do when we leave."

Disgruntled Gid muttered, "Oh yes I will. I'll chase Yulee from the attic to the armory and not have to worry about little eyes peeking at what we're doing that's what."

Ern laughed again and then they were off on the subject of all of the furs and hides Gid had gathered and if there would be a market for them in the Spring while everyone was recovering from the raiders or if he'd have to hold onto them until the Fall barter run.

I shouldn't have stood listening as long as I did but I'd been desperate for some respite from the "wild jackthumpers" myself and had hidden in the room with all the baskets of dishes. Gid and Ern finally finished and left and I returned above stairs by going up the other staircase.

I'd just come out of using the privy closet to discover Vaniece had been looking for me. "Yooo-lee."

"Yes Vaniece?"

"Cannn … we talk? N … n … not h … here."

It was an unusual request and curiosity if nothing else had me putting off what I had intended on doing. "Of course."

She led me up to her bedroom. It was slow but she insisted on walking on her own. When we got to her room she pointed to two chairs and we both sat.

"H … h … how mmmm … much … better?"

"How much better what?"

"Me. Getting b … better."

"You've gotten a great deal better than you were."

"No," she said impatiently. "Me, how m … m … much b b better to g g get?"

"Oh," I said finally understanding. Cautiously I answered, "Vaniece … I don't know. You're a lot better than I expected you to get at first. But … I can't honestly tell you how much better you will get."

The sound she made wasn't quite a whimper or cry but it was one of distress. I leaned over and put my arm around her. "If you push yourself too hard that's not good either. Slow and steady."

"T … t … to slow. Jjjjjjj-ace n … n … n … needs a real wo – wo- woman."

Concerned I asked, "Did he say something?"

She shook her head. "W w want him."

"Want him. What him to what?"

"No. I … w wa want him. M mmmm mine. Bbbbbbb …" She stopped and bunched her fists. In frustration she picked up a small pillow that she had been sewing to strengthen her hand/eye coordination and threw it across the room.

"Hey now!" Jace snapped stepping into the room. "Stop pushing her so hard. Can't you see she's had enough?!"

Vaniece slapped her hand down on the arm of the chair. "No! Nnnnot ha-ard enough. F ff faster. Y ooooo deserve b … b … better faster. Bbb … better wife. Not m … m … me."

I stood up and backed away. I looked at Jace. "Don't mess this up." Then I left the room to go look for Gid.


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

I found Gid taking his turn chopping wood. He looked at me and said, "When we start having our own jackthumpers I hope the first few are boys. We'll put 'em to bed in fertilizer every night so they'll grow up fast enough to help chop wood."

He was so serious I had to hide a smile. He looked at me and said, "That's better. You came out here looking spooked. The kids getting too much for you?"

I sighed and started separating the wood by size and type. "No. Ned has them building something in the Great Room. It is keeping them so interested I'm almost afraid to find out what it is."

"Can't be any worse than the cannon they built last week. When they set the thing off I thought there was going to be an avalanche on the high road … a snowslide at the very least."

I shuddered and shook my head because I had worried about much the same thing.

"Then what is it? You've come out here for some comfort for some reason."

"I … I didn't mean to Gid but … but I overheard you and Ern talking." He looked confused so I added. "You were below stairs sharpening knives."

"Oh. Welllll … that was all before I met you Yulee. You don't think I'd go looking for the kind of fun that Ern is wanting do you?"

I took a pinch of snow and tossed it at him. "Of course not … not that part. The part about Vaniece."

He sighed with some resignation. "I already told Ern and now I'll tell you … let it alone. Time will either fix it or it won't and getting in the middle of it won't make it fix any faster."

I shook my head. "I'm not looking to get in the middle; I'm looking to stay out of it. But Vaniece seems to think she can …" I winced. "She counts on me to listen Gid. Listen to her talk about things no one else even knows she thinks about."

"Such as? Or is it woman speak?"

I shrugged. "She's not nearly as unknowing in the head as she used to be, certainly a great deal less than what most of you credit her to be. I imagine it is about like for her like it was for me when everyone thought I was dim. It got … tiring … after a while. Frustrating."

Gid stopped chopping and leaned on the axe and said, "Well if she isn't brain scrambled that's a good thing."

"If everyone will just see it."

Gid gave me a sharp look and said, "By everyone you mean Jace."

"Mostly Jace but the others as well. She's up there with him now."

"Who? Vaniece and Jace?" I just looked at him and the light dawned. "Oh ho … you mean Vaniece is wanting some attention from Jace."

I nodded. "More than that. She finally said out loud what I sensed has been bothering her. She is frustrated at her progress and that Jace … well she said Jace deserves better … a better wife to be exact. I have a feeling that … that if they can't come to some kind of understanding …"

"Hold on … you're straying into that area that isn't any of our business again." He came over and sat us down on a stump of wood. "Now look Yulee, it doesn't sound like you had a big family, and of what you did have you lost. It also sounds like your village … well maybe they weren't prudes but you certainly had a different upbringing than what I did. So let me give you some advice if you'll take it. Sometimes the only way to survive a big family, especially one that is living on top of one another, is to make sure everyone has their space whether they want it or not. It may not be a big space … it might not even be a real space like a room or whatever … but it is something that is all their own and everyone is supposed to respect it."

"OK," I said though his words only confused me.

Seeing I didn't see it he said, "Boundaries. It's why the jackthumpers get to me some times. They don't respect boundaries. I need my privacy when I want it … but I swear …"

I had to hide my face because I knew it had to be as red as Jace's forge can get. Gid and I had been … cuddling … when we spotted some eyes at the edge of the bed. Gid nearly broke the downstairs windows out yelling about that and then got even more outraged when the ones that did it had the nerve to ask how they were supposed to learn how if no one let them watch. I tell you I nearly let him put them in the soup pot that time.

Gid seeing my face nodded. "Exactly. Well I won't watch Jace and Vaniece have them some cuddles and no more should we be watching them try and figure this out that's between them. It's a private thing. It's just as … as …"

"Voyeur."

"Huh?"

"One of my grandmother's Frenchy words. It means … watching what you shouldn't be watching."

"Yeah. Voyeur huh? I'll have to remember that one." He stood up and went back to the stack of wood he had to cut. "So the answer, assuming you were asking a question, is the way to stay out of trouble is to stay out of their business … even if one or the other of them try to drag you into it. I know you women need to talk about such and so to one another but just remember, there's no yarb that is going to fix this. Jace and Vaniece are going to have to do it … and for themselves. 'Cause if they don't likely it won't stay fixed. Now you think you could get me a mug of that spiced brew you make? My hands are gonna be frozen before I can get this all chopped and it feels like we've got another big of cold coming our way."


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter Thirty-Three

"We need more taps."

"Tell me something I don't know Tad," Gid growled in irritation. "How I let you talk me into this …"

"So you could build up some coin and you know it. It was what you planned anyway … just more of it. Uncle Gerry said there're merchants trading real gold for any kind of sweetening whether it is in bulk or small quantities. The drought has been so bad that tree syrups are getting low in stock."

Gid muttered, "Wouldn't trade for gold, too hard to trade for what I need. Silvers and coppers only and you better make sure he understands that."

Tad snorted. "Oh trust me, he understands. Ain't happy but he understands. He doesn't want to be left with only gold for trading either."

I walked the rest of the way into the clearing. "Brew anyone?"

I was nearly bowled over and would have wound up wearing what I carried if Gid and the rest of his brothers hadn't wanted what was in the pot so badly. "Mmmmm."

They said very little that was sensible before their mugs were mostly empty and then when they saw that I had also brought out some fruited cake I was almost afraid they were going to take my hands as well. As it was I nearly lost my mittens three times.

Gid was the last to leave my side and he asked, "Are you feeling better?"

I bit my lip and turned my head away. "The … the Sisters and Old Annie … they'd all tell me it happens more than most women realize."

"Don't care what they might've said then. I'm asking how you're feeling now."

I shook my head. "I'll live … so long as you aren't disappointed in me."

"Disappointed?!" He fought to keep his voice low. "It's not you I'm disappointed in, it's me. I knew you needed more time before catching. I … I should have been more careful of you. What if … what if you'd been further along? I …" He stopped and shook his head.

I was sure that I was carrying. But then I woke in the night with cramps and … and then I wasn't. I wasn't even far enough along to have said anything to anyone and I wished Gid had just let me suffer alone and keep it between us but he's a man and had been shocked at the blood. He'd fetched Lurna and then Vaniece and Lolly found out and then everyone knew. Lurna said she lost two early on with her first husband and that you had to grieve to go on but all I feel is that I have another small hole in my heart that lies beside the ones for Papa and Mam and Jubal and Old Annie and the rest of them that have gone away with the angels. At least I've gotten to the point that it doesn't hurt to breathe.

I know I did naught wrong … nor Gid either though it is taking me some time to convince him of it. I know God has a reason for this somewhere in His plan. I just have to have faith … though in the dark of the night after Gid has fallen asleep my courage and faith sometimes fail me. For now I try and not let anyone see how deep the cut is, especially not Vaniece or Jace. Jace is already nearly sick with worry.

Strange that it is Vaniece that is the strong one between them now. In her slow way – some better than it was but likely she'll always have some speaking problems as she's gotten no better in a while – she tells me that she had to have everything stripped away so that she could learn to appreciate what she once had, and then take double care to be grateful for what she has now. She's still Vaniece – but it is a Vaniece that has had the shiny and new knocked off; and beneath the surface it seems there is a fine polished stone that has more beauty to it than what she once had to claim.

Lurna sometimes looks between them and doesn't know whether to crow that she was right in putting them together or wrong and they've survived despite what all she did to try and order their lives. She still holds herself back from Gid and I but I don't think it is intentional so much as it is a reaction to her confusion over how we could choose our own way over hers. Gid says not to mind it and I try not to but I know he'd rather the distance wasn't there if she'd just stop trying to pick his path for him. She yet compares town life to what we've been leading these many months. Gid ignores her. He's made up his mind and I've vowed to follow him whether it be staying here or town or even traveling the land from ocean to ocean. I didn't tell him that she keeps saying that there are midwifes in town that might have been able to help me. Lurna means well; she just doesn't always sound well-meaning.

Gid assures me he has all he wants right here but he's also begun to wonder if perhaps the next time I catch we shouldn't go find the woman Justine just to be sure that all is right. It makes me wonder if someone hasn't said something to him too. Personally I feel no pull to search any other doctoring out but perhaps that will change if this happens another time.

"You're wooling again. You'd best go back to the cabin and sit in front of the fire a bit. I'll send one of the boys if we need something."

I sighed and shook my head. "I was just thinking but they weren't bad thoughts. And I needed the air. I'd forgotten how hard it was to be watched all the time, waiting for me to do something I shouldn't."

"They mean no harm … and it isn't wrong they're watching for but need. Even knowing how strong you are they worry same as me. You scared me worse than you did that time with the ants and I didn't think that was possible."

I looked at him from beneath my lashes and said, "Then perhaps when I do catch and it sticks I should just send you off to hunt when I suspect my time has come. It might be better if you are just presented with a little jackthumper rather than be around for the birthing."

He grimaced. "You'll tell me or else and I mean it Yulee. Maybe I'll feel like passing out but I won't leave you alone. Father always passed out but he had the decency to wait until after he'd been presented with the latest addition, named them, and then gave them back for bathing and such. There's more than a few dents in their bedroom floor in the block house to prove it."

I managed a small smile remembering the stories that Lurna had begun telling. Then my smile slipped when I remembered they'd stop their stories when I walked into the room. "Tell them there's no need Gid."

"No need for what?"

"No need to treat me like I'm a piece of pre-Great War glass. I'm not going to shatter just because someone else has something I don't."

His thickly gloved hand brushed a holly leaf from my hair where it had caught as I'd come down the path. "I'll tell them but for now, go sit and warm a spell. You've grown pale again. Listen to Ned lesson the children; you always enjoy that."

I tried to bring another smile to my lips but felt it falter and tried to turn before he could see it.

"If I could make this better I would Yulee."

I patted his arm. "It's just what Old Annie called the womanlies going back the way they are supposed to be. I'll be fine but perhaps … perhaps if you've no objection … I'll lay down a bit."

"You do that. I'll send one of the boys to light the brazier."

"No … no I …"

"You'll let me do this woman. I can't fix your sorry … I share it but can't fix it. But I can and will do what I'm able to see to your comfort. Wish I could do it myself but I can't leave or they'll scorch the syrup and ruin the work."

I patted his arm again. "I know. Just don't stay so late your fingertips start going numb again."

"Nay, we've learned our lesson on that one."

"Good," I told him before drifting back towards the cabin and to some time to read the Good Book. That and Gid holding me seem to be the only two things that really comfort me and even those two boons sometimes still leave me untouched and miserable.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter Thirty-Four

"Are you sure Yulee? I could try and talk Mother around."

I shook my head at Lolly. "I keep telling you there's no need. Besides, you're the only one Vaniece seems to want at times. And Jace listens to you more than Lurna. Not to mention you'll need to be there to make sure Verna gets the truth and not some mish mash of the truth."

"But …"

"As Gid would say, but me no buts. I've turned the corner. Truly," I added when she gave me a suspicious look. "I think my blood was just low. I should have thought but … well that's the way that leads you some times. It wasn't until Vaniece insisted that I share the liver with her that night that I realized perhaps I'd lost more than I'd realized when … when …"

She gave me a hug and my moment of weakness passed. "You're really sure?"

I gave a smile … a real one I didn't have to work at. "I'm sure. And besides, I don't need both you and Gid watching me like a hawk. One is more than plenty."

She gurgled a laugh and hugged me again before climbing into the wagon and taking her place. She was the last of the good-byes to make and soon enough Gid and I were no longer able to see them after they'd turned the corner on their way to meet Tad's Uncle Gerry who'd sent an outrider the day before to say it was time to return to Riverside if they wished his escort.

"Whew … don't know if I should dance and jig and sing at their leaving," Gid said with a sorrowful look on his face that quickly turned into a wicked wink. "Maybe I'll give it another few minutes so they don't hear me."

I couldn't help but laugh. "You'll miss them."

"I'll miss the help with the work, but not the extra work that the help made." He put his arm around me and we walked back to the now very empty house. "What of you. Did you get used to having someone to do the women speak with?"

I shrugged. "I'll miss Lolly … and Jasmine and Gladys … and even Vaniece. I'll miss Ned and Tad and Ern … but …"

"But?"

"But I think we … we need to go back to it being just the two of us … for a bit. They were so anxious to get back to Riverside and to set things back to right that it made it seem they couldn't wait to be rid of us. It got to be … be …"

Gid nodded in understanding. "Aye, it did. But ask me if I care. Let 'em go back to the town and rebuild it, the place serves its purpose so I suppose it is only right that there are those that like living there. My only hope is that they can keep the children from going back to being as bad as they were."

"I don't think Jace will let that happen. He's gotten nearly as strict as you when they start to get out of line."

Gid too carefully pulled me into his arms and said, "'Bout time someone besides me gets called a meany."

I sighed realizing that regardless of what he said that sometimes he grew weary of always being considered the sour old man. "As they get older, and if they are blessed with any offspring, they'll appreciate you all the more because you cared enough to do the necessary and were consistent about it."

"Will they?" he asked walking us back inside since the morning was still full of chill despite the snow all melted and the mud dried. "I know I have the right of it but still …"

"Still?" I asked when he trailed off.

"Sometimes I wonder if they were mine for true instead of just my father's younger children could I bring myself to do it."

I put my arm around his waist as we walked back to the kitchen that was finally clean enough to serve as its title. "You'd probably be pulled to do it even more. When God gives us a responsibility it isn't to make us look a better person but to be a better person. For whatever reason Jace is finally seeing what you've always seen."

"And that is?"

"It isn't about being liked, it is about doing what's right."

"Seemed more like he just finally got as tired of all their noise as I have when it is for no good purpose. My ears are going to take some time to recover."

I smiled and then had a thought. I poked him lightly in a place I knew him to be ticklish.

"What? Did I trod on your foot?" Gid asked concerned.

I rolled my eyes and poked him again but said nothing. "Did I say something?" Gid asked still perplexed and wondering what I meant.

Finally I sighed, poked him one more time and stepped out of his reach. "I'm just a naughty sprat that needs lessoning."

"Huh? You haven't done a thing …"

I took two steps backwards, caught his eye and grinned and then ran up to the first landing.

"Yulee! That's not bright. You've barely been yourself and there's no need to run up the stairs. What if you trip or fall or …"

I put my hands on my hips and stomped my foot in a fair imitation of what I'd seen some of the youngest girls do when they got frustrated. "Stop treating me like I'm going to fall aparr …. ! Ahhhh!"

Gid had caught on and taken a running leap up the stairs and I squealed and had to take off in a hurry least I be caught too quickly. He caught me at the attic door. "Ok, fun's over. No more running up and down the stairs. You want some attention I'll give it to you but …"

I sighed in disappointment. "Gid …"

"Don't Gid me woman. You're still not …"

"Am too." I poked him again and he squawk but was unable to hold on to me.

Down the stairs I ran but he refused to follow me and play. I stood there and stood there at the bottom of the stairs but he never came down. I felt like crying and all the sun seemed to go out of the day. I turned and to go to the kitchen to get my cloak and a basket so I could go gather some fresh greens. I stepped into the room and was grabbed from behind but I could tell by the smell that it wasn't Gid.


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter Thirty-Five

The man who grabbed me quickly let go and had to grab himself as my stone knife was near at hand for a purpose. As soon as I realized it wasn't Gid I made a grab for it. The next second I had stabbed him in the leg as close to the big blood-letting artery as I could get. I stumbled away and when I saw the tattoo on his face I didn't even hesitate but sliced his throat. The cut was deep enough that it only took him a moment to fall and expire. I'd traveled with Aunt long enough to know a raider tattoo when I saw one and I recognized this particular tattoo from stories at the Buy n' Sells as belonging to a group that skirted the corrupted lands looking for old weapons to use against militias and villages. They were vicious and took more joy than a sane man ever would in torture and mayhem of all types.

I ran to the back door and threw the bar to keep anyone else from coming up behind us and then carefully picked my way through the house. I wanted to run, to scream for Gid, but I didn't dare. If there were raiders about I needed to keep my head. The front bar was harder for me to work but I got it in place. The bar on the door to the old barn stayed secured since the brothers had built the detached barn so I knew I didn't need to take the time to check it. It always made so much racket that we would have heard it had anyone messed with it.

There was still no sign of Gid and it terrified me. Realizing someone would have had to take the back stairs because we had been on the front I carefully made me way over to that set of stairs. I was hoping they'd be looking towards the front and I could come up behind them if there was anyone up there that shouldn't be. I dredged up every lesson Papa ever gave me and stealthily crept towards the second floor.

And surely, that is exactly what they were doing … when they weren't poking holes in Gid they were staring down the front stairs or out the windows on that side of the house. I could see from the way his neck tendons stood out from around the gag they had on him Gid still lived. There were only two … two more lay on the floor dead. One of the two still standing was badly injured. How'd he gotten as far as he did and me not hear them I still don't know. What I found when I got there was that Gid was trussed up and I wasn't going to have much of a chance but one.

I briefly slipped into the room used by the younger boys as their sleeping chamber and, as I remembered, the bows that I had made for them to practice with still hung on pegs by the door. The arrows were dull and wouldn't take a big animal but they'd do some damage if I could score a hit from up close in soft tissue. I got in place; the angle was awkward but still sufficed. The one that had been poking at Gid went down with an arrow buried in his eye. The other one continued to look down the stairs but hissed, "Quiet Dug. Jed should be getting the woman if he ain't sampling her and makin' us wait." He finally turned when Gid kicked out at him and the raider's last expression was one of surprise when he noticed an arrow sprout from his throat.

I ran to Gid to remove the dirty rag shoved in his mouth but he shook his head and then his eyes widened. He pushed me out of the way with his upper body and knocked into the raider that had been coming behind me with his knife drawn causing them both to tumble down the front staircase. I grabbed the mace dropped by one of the raiders and looked all around before running down the stair case. I didn't stop but brought the mace down on the head of the raider that Gid had saved me from so hard that it stuck.

I rolled Gid over only his eyes were closed and he was as pale as I had ever seen him, even paler than he'd been the night I'd lost our catch. There was blood everywhere and his clothes were torn where the raider had been torturing him with shallow punctures. Remembering some of the tortures a raider could do to a captive I slowly opened Gid's mouth and checked to make sure there weren't hooks or barbs in the rag or down his throat before removing it. I noticed black and white granules on Gid's clothes and realized that the raider had been rubbing salt and black powder into the cuts. Had the beast in the shape of a man not already gotten drug off by the demons I would have gladly made his passing as hard as I could.

When a trickle of blood ran out of Gid's ear I was ready to scream. "God please oh please don't do this. I swear I'll learn whatever lesson you need me to learn but don't teach me by taking the one that you sent to save me. If someone has to fly away to the angels let it be me …"

I tried to pull Gid but for all his whipcord leanness he was as heavy and stiff as a boulder at the bottom of a lake. I had to run and get a quilt, roll him onto it, and then drag him just to get him a few feet at a time. I had barely managed to get him half way to our sleeping quarters when I heard an explosion in the distance. It was loud enough that it rattled the doors and windows in their frames. Suddenly I thought of the family's caravan and what it might mean.


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter Thirty-Six**

"Please God, don't send the angels after him and keep the demons at bay. If you just have to have a price then let it be me. I'll go, perhaps not so gladly as I once would have as I have started to look forward to life again, but none of this will be worth living if he's gone out of it. Please God …"

I looked around at the injured spread everywhere on the floor. I knew there was a pile of dead being burned in a pyre … none of the dead were ours except for a few chickens whose cages were crushed when a wagon tipped … and could smell the rancid and oily smoke despite the cabin being closed up.

"Mistress Yulee? My man Coe is finally wakening. Can you check to make sure his brain 's not more scrambled than normal?"

I knew there wasn't a thing more I could do for Gid but it still tore me to leave his side. But I did it; I had a responsibility to see to those who could use my help. I also began to understand why the Sisters took vows that kept them from marriage and an outside family. It was terribly hard to share your attention with strangers when those you love are suffering; or in the case of the raiders that yet lived and were tied up outside under guard not to make their passing more painful.

I stood and looked around. The injured included the oldest to the youngest. Lurna sat nearly insensible as all her chicks lay about with varying levels of injury. Hank refused to leave Hiram's side and did in fact hold his brother's hand; there'd never be any more tricks in that quarter as one now bore a wound that was sure to leave a fierce scar and the other had lost the small finger on his left hand. Ned mopped the brow of Ern who was in pain from a badly wrenched leg. I'd managed to put it back in the socket but all of the muscle and connective tissues were badly bruised and stretched.

Tad and Jace were taking their turns keeping a lookout and refused to even consider letting me go get some more willow for the pain relieving tea that I was running out of. "People will just have to bare the pain Yulee," Jace said tiredly. "Gid will have my hide should I let you go, especially in the dark." Tad was no better and I knew it was a waste of time to argue.

I'd ordered Vaniece to a pallet. She was pale as ash but so far no pains or spotting to say her catch was going to be taken. Her side was the only place that Jace went to when he left his post. If nothing good comes of this, at least there is that.

As I once again did the rounds of checking the wounded over, starting with the daffy-acting man named Coe who apparently wasn't all that sound of mind to begin with, I once again remembered the sequence of events that had gotten us here. I'd finally gotten Gid to his bed and on it – no small feat that – and bathed his wounds and done what I could to make him comfortable. He would try and regain consciousness but he only seemed to be able to for short moments. That's when I began to suspect it hadn't just been salt and gunpowder he'd had rubbed into his wounds but some type of drug as well. I still don't know what it is but he's sweated profusely and it has been a challenge to keep him from drying out.

I knew I couldn't leave the bodies of the raiders to fester in the house and had managed to dump one out the backdoor and roll the four that had surprised Gid down the stairs like old, broken scarecrows. I stripped their bodies and laid all aside for Gid's inspection and then started to drag them out the front. I had two and was dragging a third out when there was a whistle from the road.

I jumped up and looked, tried to whistle in return but my mouth was cut and swollen and then said loudly, "I … I can't whistle. My mouth is …"

I grabbed my knife when I saw Tad creep from the bushes. "Where's Gid?" he asked cautiously looking around.

I nearly burst into tears but only shook my head. "Wounded."

From that point it was a worse mad house than when Jace had brought the family so many months before. Tad's Uncle Gerry had picked up a couple of new workers in the place where he had over-wintered only it turns out they were raiders in disguise. One thing led to another. They'd told their raider compatriots a wealthy trader convoy was on their way and then as they were followed, they found us from the outrider who'd been picked off and tortured for information. It was the man Coe, a mostly harmless soul, and if I understand it he refused to reveal much until they started cutting on his manlies. He'll live if no infection sets in but he'll need watching to make sure his despair doesn't lead him to suicide or deathly foolishness. Men are sensitive about their manlies and the Sisters and Brothers always had a special watch on those that came in after that kind of torturing.

Tad's uncle's convoy was a harder nut to crack than expected as it had been in lock down due to Coe's failure to return even with the ones on the inside trying to make mischief and hinder the defense. What the raiders also hadn't been prepared for was Jace outfitting the whole family with guns. Most convoys only have the one or two well-armed men as guards, not so this time. Gid and I were hit because the cabin was thought to be the hidey home of some rich merchant and because it would make a good base of operations.

I stepped into the kitchen to find Vaniece and Lolly brewing. "Vaniece, you need to be abed and off your feet."

Lolly nodded tiredly and said, "I've already tried to tell her. She refuses to until Jace comes back in from his watch."

"Jace. Food."

I nodded understanding that her fatigue was interfering with her speech more than usual. "Then at least sit down. You can chop greens just as well that way as standing."

Acquiescing with more grace than I expected she said, "Gid?"

"The same."

"Always hope," Vaniece said with too much understanding.

"Yes Yulee," Lolly agreed. "There's always hope and Gid is as tough as old shoe leather. What of the dog and cat?"

I shrugged. "They'll live but don't let the children near them. You know how animals act when they've been injured. And the cat is near impossible when even I go near Horse. She's worse than a mother bear about that dog."

"Why you let Gid play such a trick and call the dog Horse I don't know. It makes for awful confusion."

Suddenly I had to sit down or fall down. I come to myself to find Lurna patting my back. "Go lay down a bit beside Gid. If nothing else because Gid would want it and will want to know why we didn't do our duty by you when he wakes."

I slowly sat up and shook my head. "You've done your duty. I'll simply tell him that I'm too stubborn to let it get in the way of what I must do."

Lurna just looked at me then said, "Oh aye … and it is going to take a woman as stubborn as you to deal with him when he awakens and finds out he is not to leave that bed until given leave to do so. He'll make more noise than the children do when they are up to tricks. See if he doesn't. There's been a time or two when we've all but had to tie him to bed to keep him there. And you can remind him of that too."

I made my way back to Gid's side and here I still sit. I'm not sure if they truly have hope or if they only act like they do for my sake. But hope is all I have right now. His breathing is so shallow and his skin feels damp but cool. I would give much to take his place but for whatever reason God has left me on this side of the Gates thus far. Hope. I have to maintain it. This hole in my heart this time would swallow me up and leave nothing.


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter Thirty-Seven**

"Thir … thirs … thirst …"

I almost thought I was imagining it at first, but when I lifted my head Gid's eyes were beseeching me. I could die of shame. Just die of it. I knew he was parched from sweating out the poison. I knew how urgent it was that I follow my hope with the action of keeping him watered. But despite all that I fell asleep. Did he not need me I think I could find a hole and crawl in and just wait for the angels to carry me off rather than bear it.

Even now when I've confessed to Gid and he threaten to tie me to him if I ever say such a thing again I can't let go the idea that I've let him down. But never again. Never. God has been merciful and I'll not take it for granted.

"Yulee, ease up. I'm a grown man, not a sprat that needs all my parts to be washed like I don't know how to. Just scrub my back. I don't seem to have the stretch in my arm like I should."

I stopped and tried not to fuss so much. I know he doesn't like it but I can't seem to stop myself. "It's the new skin over the worst of the knife wounds. It is still pink and tender and tight the way such things are. Just let me do the doing for a while yet and you'll be well and able to stretch to your heart's content. I'll see to it if it is the last thing I do."

"And there you go again woman. How many times do I have to tell you not to be so hard on yourself? If anyone needs a flogging it is me. I vowed to protect you and you wound up having to do the deed for both of us … against corrupted raiders no less."

"You've lost your memory. Have you forgotten you took out two raiders so fast I never even heard it happen and wounded a third? All I did was pop out of a mouse hole and finish what little bit you left me to do, and I couldn't even do that right. I forgot Papa taught me to always make sure the demons have drug off the enemy, so what did you have to do? You had to go and save me again and crack your head on top of all the other injuries you'd already suffered. I swear Gid I could just …"

"Say it and I'll pop you on your seat even if it means breaking a promise to never raise a hand to youlost your memory still a bit t amongst each other even more than they work to keep the siege going. or there would be serio," he said menacingly. "I mean it Yulee, I'll not stand for it. Now let it go and let it be that we saved each other. There's no need for you to be so hard on yourself. I didn't die. Neither did you. There's a mess but we're facing it together."

I shut my mouth as I knew the arguing wore on him almost as bad as his injuries still did. But that doesn't mean I can just get rid of the feelings. I nearly lost him. The most precious thing that God has sent me besides Himself. I feel so undeserving. I am undeserving. But I must work at it, let him and Him know how I appreciate it.

"You gonna worry at it forever and again or you going to help me finish this bath before I turn into a raisin?"

"Oh … oh I'm sorry I …"

He sighed and said, "Yulee?"

"Yes Gid?"

"When I get my strength back and enough patience not to rush it … I'll chase you around the cabin so much you'll never have to wonder if I'm still interested."

"Huh?"

"I saw your face," he said morosely. I didn't know what he was talking about and I was going to check his forehead for a fever when he said, "When I didn't come down after you … that day the raiders got in. I saw your face and … and I don't ever want to disappoint you again."

It took me a moment to even remember and when I did I was almost angry. "Gid! You never disappoint me! Never … never ever. I just thought … well … it isn't worth repeating. Now let me put some lotion on that spot that keeps trying to dry out and crack and cause you to …"

He reached over and grabbed my arm. "I mean it Yulee. It's not that I didn't want to play and pay some attention to you … I was just … worried. You got so … so frail. You looked almost like you did when you came out of the cage … all sharp angles and a face set so that the rest of the world couldn't know what was going on inside you. I didn't know what was going on inside you and that worried me most. I didn't know if you were keeping something from me. Every time I tried to ask Lurna all I got was woman speak and I didn't understand any of it."

Rinsing the soap from his back and starting on his hair I told him, "It indeed was all just woman speak Gid. Some of it was … was my womanlies … stuff the old time doctors called hormones … going back to where they belonged. Some of it was … I was just grieving. And scared that you'd be disappointed. It got better. It … it is better."

"That voice you're using don't sound like it's better."

I sighed. "It is better. Truly Gid. It … it is something that has marked my heart but … but it is better. There is nothing I can do to change what happened so I have to accept it. I just was trying to … to get over it, not make it worse for either one of us. I know you hurt as well. I just wanted to find some way to bridge it so that we could be more comfortable, like we were."

We were both quiet a moment with the only noise the sound the suds made as I scrub them into his scalp. Then he said, "Try and look at what is happening with the raiders the same way. Can't change what has happened … the bad or the good of it. We accept it. Learn from it. Then move forward. Live better for it even if it was from grief. If we constantly look back and blame ourselves that isn't living, much less living better. Or aren't you the one that used to forever talk about God sending lessons your way and not always liking the form they took?"

I finished helping Gid then helped him out of the bath. He no longer needs my help dressing. He has healed up a lot faster than any of us expected. Tad's uncle said that Gid has an iron constitution and that since none of the knife wounds were as deep as they could have been that it must have been the drug that affected him so strongly. As soon as that passed through his body his recovery was lightning fast. Only the few punctures near his shoulders from the initial fight still give him trouble. It hasn't even been half a moon's cycle and he's nearly back to full strength and God be praised he is of sound mind rather than a lack wit because of the drug and torture.

His words have given me a lot to think about. I still feel so guilty yet perhaps he is right. Maybe it is trusting God once again to bring us what we need that I need to do more of. I'd come to depend only on Gid. It's not that I didn't still do my daily speaking with God but I almost put Gid ahead of Him … that it was Gid that provided what I needed rather than God providing what both Gid and I need. If that was the lesson I was to learn it has been a harsh and terrifying one. I don't want to think of life without Gid and maybe I shouldn't. Maybe it is that I need to trust God will take care of Gid as much as Gid takes care of me. I don't know. This is something the Brothers and Sisters would have been so much better at contemplating. It makes my stomach turn inside out.

Certainly it only adds to the other troubles we have still to face. There are groups of raiders tromping the forest; not too thick now that the main force has been taken out but still enough to cause trouble. From those that Gerry and his men have caught and questioned before sending them off with the demons sacking Riverside only got enough to last them through the cold months. For some reason – most likely the drought – a lot of bad men have been congregating in the valley looking for food and such since it is so scarce other places. The mining and lumber outposts have not been cracked yet which is a blessing and put Lurna's heart at ease as she has been worried about all of the older, married girls in the family. But Shale and Yellow Rock have been breached twice; however both attacks were quickly repelled and the towns are now under siege. As a result the raiders are laying waste to the countryside trying to wait them out. It is why they were putting spies in the trading caravans, looking for a way to get in or a new place to work their mischief.

For some unknown reason the raiders think Shale and Yellow Rock is full to the top of gold and other treasures. Makes no sense. The mines in the area are for coal, stones, and minerals; not for spending metals like gold or silver. There's a small marble quarry and another for limestone. Tad said that aside from the coal mines the most profitable one is owned by a family that keeps to themselves most of the time and they mine sodium bicarbonate. This finally explained the mystery of how Gid had such a supply of the rarity here at be cabin. It has meant I didn't have to skimp on the things that need baking soda like the rising bread or the toothpowder.

Blessed are we that the leaders of the various raider groups are too full of themselves to pull together or there would be more serious problems. They feud and fight amongst each other even more than they work to keep the siege going. But if this continues we will truly be hurting. Gid already balks at the time lost to get crops in the fields. I've started seedlings for a kitchen garden but I don't wish to build a temptation to call the raiders to fight us more directly. Gid and the other men hate to see any of us women beyond the cabin's yard but there is no help for it if we expect our supplies to outlast the raiders' attention span. As it is Gerry has lost a great deal in silverweight as he cannot charge us for what we use from his supplies as we are providing a place for he and his men to hole up.

We are all courting disaster and something must break soon.


	38. Chapter 38

_**Chapter Thirty-Eight**_

"Should we be out this far Yulee?"

"Do you want to eat?"

"Huh?"

"Jasmine you've seen how everything is picked over closer to the cabin. It is either go further out or give up anything fresh for the munch and meals. And with so many to cook for …"

The young girl groaned. "Why do they have to stay here?"

I thought that some were finally beginning to realize what work a crowd really took to take care of. "Because if they didn't some would surely die. Which of the ones that you've come to know would you sentence to death? Which of your brothers and sisters would you sentence to death by sending away the extra protectors?"

"I'd never …"

"But that is what you were saying. If they leave here of their own free will that is one thing … and I think soon they may just do that very thing. Gerry has heartburn over all the lost business. But Gid and Jace can't guard the rest of us alone – even with help from the rest of the older brothers. So when Gerry and his men go we may very well be digging graves for our own."

"No. That's … that's just not fair."

"Nothing in life ever is. One of my aunt's men used to call it being damned whether you do or don't. Now we should stop speaking and remain quiet. We are out to gather greens but I wouldn't mind bringing in a hare or two to lighten the men's load."

The girl fell silent. In truth it wasn't a hare so much I wanted to catch but raiders that I wanted to avoid. She was right that we were further from the cabin than normal and were taking a chance. It was a necessary chance however because I hadn't been understating how difficult it was becoming to find edibles nearer the cabin. We were out an hour when I caught a sour smell on the air. I pulled Jasmine to me and showed her how to hide in the briers like a jackthumper. Putting my finger to my lips I hushed the questions that wanted to spill out.

I smelled sickness. The kind that comes from a festering wound or puke that's not been buried and left to rot in the open. Then I heard them. They were seasoned raiders and knew their trade well but my father had taught me his trade as well. I'll never be as good at it as he but life had made sure I was better at it than I should have needed to be.

Jasmine's quivering let me know she'd spotted them as well. It was a test of my will against hers but she didn't try and run or squeak and give our position away. The three raiders angled away from us heading toward the cabin. I wondered if there were more or if they were setting to make an assault until I caught their garbled speech.

"I'm hungry."

"We all are. Supplies are running low. I'm done listening to Novak. He says we wait 'em out or take 'em one by one. Well time for that is over. Yesterday there was only Bonner that was sick. Today five more joined him. I told the fools not to eat that bear, that sompin' was off about it. If ever man that did eat of it comes down with the bloody runs like these have we need to take what we can get and be gone from here."

"I only got a few bites but I ain't sickening."

The other two looked at him sideways and as the third man turned away in fear I could see he lied. He held himself like one that had to go to the outhouse but who was afraid to let go. The man's facial tattoo stood out from his gray coloring almost like it was freshly done though with a healed scar running through it I knew that couldn't be so.

The one acting as a leader shook his head, "Don't matter. We all gotta die sometime. Would you rather die a puking coward or as a man in battle."

The sick man did stand a bit straighter though I could tell it cost him. "If it be my time I won't be going alone."

And the three then commenced building themselves up for what I knew they planned to be a deadly attack on our home. But they were overconfident. I'd have to hit them just right to get penetration with my arrows. Their furs and other bits and pieces they wore were thick like armor. It also had to be done quiet just in case these three weren't the only ones about.

I made Jasmine stay put and close to the ground while I changed position quietly and followed them down the trail a bit. I got two before they could turn a bend in the trail and the third immediately after the bend. I ran forward and cut the throat of the one still thrashing and then also the other two just to make certain. A quick turn to get Jasmine I snatched my arrows and we ran for the cabin.

I expected a lecture and a lecture I got.

"What were you thinking woman?!"

I kept my quiet as I knew I deserved the tongue lashing for worrying Gid. It didn't matter that Jasmine and I had brought back enough provision for a couple of days of fresh munches. I hadn't asked him first.

"And you just sit there saying nothing!"

"There's nothing that I can say Gid. I knew what I was doing. We need the fresh. You men can only do so much and still keep us safe."

Almost like he hadn't heard my admission he said, "And three … THREE … raiders?!"

"I couldn't risk them getting through our line and cutting off our return."

Gid went on for a bit more but eventually he calmed but couldn't or wouldn't let me far from him for the rest of the day. That night in front of the fire we all spoke more calmly about what I'd heard that day.

Gerry scratched his chin and said, "There's sickness in their camp. Would that we could take advantage of that but we don't know their numbers."

Tad nodded, "A small recee would be good. Even if we didn't attack the camp at least we could know their strength."

Gid looked at me and then sighed. "Tell again what you think."

I shrugged. "The same thing that happens during a siege when a commander can't provide for his men. They're getting dissatisfied with their lot. I couldn't tell if this Novak was a strong man or not but I didn't hear any fear in the voice of the man who mentioned him. He could be weak, sick, or not in the area but only having his orders followed through messengers."

Jace said, "If he isn't about that means there will be at least one raider group at some distance. If they don't share the illness they will be a force to be reckoned with."

Ern grumped, "There's a pleasant thought to go with all the others."

I let the men do their men talking but I knew what I would do if I wore their boots. Knowledge is power. Even if we only knew about some of the raiders in the area it would still be better than the blindness we currently suffered from.

It was frustrating not to have my say and keep my counsel. Gid and I went off to our bed and he insisted on helping me undress. He kissed the nape of my neck and said, "I yelled 'cause you caused me worry."

"I know. I'm sorry for you feeling worry."

"But not for the deed which caused it."

I was silent for a bit then said since his hands were still being gentle, "We've needs. The family can't keep going like it is. The youngest are already showing signs of missing foods that keep them healthy. I'm doing my best to save them from the scurvy and rickets but I can't do it without going further afield."

"The littles are in danger?" he asked with quiet concentration on the problem.

"Some. All the worry and fear they see on the faces of the rest of us does not help. Ned does his best but he said their attention and ability to concentrate is being affected. The Sisters always knew when a sickness was brewing in the village children just from monitoring the school. And another cow has gone dry."

"This siege needs to end," he said with finality. "Need to go have some words with the others."

I sat and took time with my Creator. I'd nearly sweated through my blouse trying to keep my words behind my teeth and needed a bit of quiet to compose myself. Slowly in my mind's eye a memory formed. I must have been very small because I sensed my grandfather was sitting in a corner rocking and smoking his pipe. My grandmother and Old Annie sat with my mother on a bench near the door.

"Will it work?" Mam asked her Mam.

In her correct speech she said, "It has never failed to work with your father. A kind word turns away wrath and a quiet word can lead a conversation in the way you wish it to go."

"I don't want to tell him what to do."

"And you won't. You are simply leading him to the same conclusion that you have come to. Let him choose dear. He needs to be the man. Do not nag him. The men know what needs to be done, it is merely taking them longer to make the decision than it did for us women."

And then it clicked. There had been some sort of scandal, one children were not privy to, but in hindsight I believe it was between one of the Brothers and Sisters and that enough people suspected but the men didn't want to touch it and the women wanted it dealt with. I can't remember the exact trail of events but I do remember that there was a wedding not long afterwards that was much remarked on.

I must have dozed because I woke with a start when I heard something outside the shutters.


End file.
